Doomed...i think.

baxgttdi

Hello everybody.

This is my first post...for a long time. I'm not new here at all shamefully I've been a members for years was active a last year and thought I had my life in order again. Out of nowhere in Febuary of this year my long term partner left me and I hit a (to put it mildly) patch of depression and turned to gambling. From about March onwards it's all been downhill and I'm struggling to find the brakes. At the end of July I realised what I was doing was a stupid way to lose all my money and ruin my life but seemed unable to stop. Then in October I used everything I had left (and it sounds dramatic but it really felt like this) to pull myself together a bit. I contacted all of the various companies that I've used for my gambling over the last 8 months (all online, real life gamblnig holds no attraction to me) and voluntarily excluded myself from all of the accounts for about 2 years (the max I could, if I'd canceled the accounts I was free to reapply).

It's not an exageration to say I've since suffered withdrawal lke I didn't think was possible, sleepless nights, stress related problems, lack of appetite and many other things. It's felt like I would previously have imagined a withdrawal from drugs being like althoguh I would openly hold no experience of this and wouldn't claim it is literally comparable. Now in the aftermath I'm trying to sort out the mess I've made for myself and I'm struggling to see not only the light at the other side but the actual entrance to the tunnel. The positives are that I'm banned from all major gambling services and I managed to do that on my own, I can't waste any more money on this stupid adddiction, I can begin to rectify my life and also I've recovered from the split. It's just a case of...where do I go from here. Sorry if this rambled a bit (read lot) but I think i feel better for it. Anyways here's my SOA, any comments or helpful suggestions are more than welcome , thanks

Debt

Car - 5600 (313pm)
Barclays - 1100 (71)
Current Acount - 1200
Lloyds - 1100 (65)
Current Account - 500
Orange - 126

total = 9626

Income

Salary - 1217 pm
Other - 120 pm

total income = 1337

Other outgoings

Insurance - 126
Gym - 30 (ends may)
Internet - 18
Dad - 100 (for rent)
fuel - 240 (i drive an economical car but do 500-600 miles a week for my job)

total outgoings = 963

total = incoming 1337 - outgoing 963 = +£374 but I cant say I've ever seen any of that lol (, just dunno where it goes.

The main problem I'm having at the moment is that the lloyds loan is coming from a current account which doesn't have a regualr income. So one month I forgot to put the money in to pay the debit, it went over drawn by £3 and the fees just keep building at £15 a leading to current state of the account . It's 13th of the month and I have not a penny let till the 30th. Food and rent etc is not an issue as I live at home but obviously general costs and living are a problem

I'm hoping with myself banned from the online gambling that's a thing of the past it's jsut where do I start to rectify the debts =o/. This is like day number 1 so I'm trying to be positive but I'm struggling at the moment, how do you other people manage it?

Thanks for reading!
sorry again ti was so long...guess I need to update my sig debt free Jan 2009, as if (

baxgttdi

Well since I mnade such a long thread yesterday I thoguht I'd continue it as a progress report/diary of what I'm doing to take steps in the right direction and then hopefully if times get tough(er) I'll be able to see how far I've come that's the plan anyways.
Well got positive after the post yesterday so I've done the following

• made a fully detailed SOA for myself to see where everything is going to
• Wrote out the template letters for bank charge reclaims (I know it's on hold but I think it's still worth doing
• Applied and got a loan to consolidate all of those little debts together. I know it's not always the best I dea as your tempted to respend but after weighing t up I decided that I'd save so much due to not being overdrawn and paying charges it's worth it. I also made sure I can make early repayments without any fees
• Been to the banks and prepared them to close all of my little banks accounts down (for some reason I have 4 curent acounts urgg what was I thinking?)
• Made a full list of things to be paid off with the loan when it comes
• On Calcuating a new debt free date
• Started putting a plan together for a little money making scheme I'm gonna try and run from hom, all above board of course
• Loaned the money to pay the Orange bill from my father on 1 of those special parent 0% for life of balance pay £1 a month rates that only dad's can give ya
• Realised it could be worse and I've made the first big positive step already by realising it needs sorting and donig something about it!

Think that's abotu it but not bad for one day.

Lula-Hula

Hi Baxx,

wow, you've had a tough time of it but it sounds like you've managed to pull yourself up & are now heading in the right direction. As you already know the drill - posting SOA etc then I shall just welcome you back & reassure you that you're in absolutely the right place. One word of caution thought ; is the 'money making' schem a real possibility, it just sounds a teeny bit like risk / gambling ? No offence meant all, but sometimes these addictions can manifest themselves in other ways .

Lots of luck to you & keep posting, I'm sure clever knowledgeable people will drop in soon with advice.

take care
lula

vikki400

Morning, well done for kicking the Gambling. I understand it must be hard for you, but it is a good move. There is a Gamblers help thread on here it might be a good idea to join. Maybe you need to think about what made you seek refuge in the gambling in the first place. You say it was the bad break up, but you need to think of a strategy to enable you to cope with other difficult situations that may come along so you don't get sucked back in.

baxgttdi

Hey Lula, thanks fro the reply . I know I'm in the right place, to be honest as soon as I got it into my head I needed to sort it out coming on here was the first thing I decided to do. I understand your caution heh but no it's nothing to do with gambling. I have access to books (legally) for really cheap. Things that are still £20 in the shops i.e the new Jeremy Clarkson book I can get for about £6 so I'm going to try and make some money through selling them on. If it works it works if not I'll come up with something else . No more gamblnig for me hehe. Thanks again

monitorsit

we all wish you success and are here to offer support.

TotallyBroke

Hi, well done for posting...

If you use https://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html to do your soa you can post it into your thread.
You say you can't see where the spare money goes. The best way to find it is to write down a spending diary. Once you start budgetting and the diary it all will add up.

Someone earlier mentioned the gambling thread.
This is what it is called "ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread" I don't know how to do the link I'm afraid. They are a real friendly bunch. They have helped me so much and I'm not even a gambler I'm on the other end.

Good luck

duchy

Well done !
I know you've "kicked the habit" but have you considered contacting Gamblers Anonymous for support to keep you on the striaght and narrow-it might be useful and who knows you might be able to help someone else.
Moneymaking-how about a second job-lots of pubs need temp bar staff this time of year-and many pay weekly which could be useful. The money is usually rubbish but it stops you spending but without feeling you've got no social life due to no funds.
Do keep posting-knowing people are following your progress is often really useful to keep ploughing on at those moments of fedupness we all get.
You're off to a brilliant start-well done !

GeorgeUK

Hi Bax

Well done on posting and getting the gambling problem dealt with. As you will note from my sig, i can relate to the problems you are facing. The gamblers support thread can be found here - it sometimes helps just to have a rant or moan just to get everything off your chest so don't be afraid to use it. I fell off the wagon which prompted me to post on the thread so even if things go wrong, keep posting and we'll be with you to advise and support you through it.

The only reason i am able to make the payments on the amount i owe is partially through my folks, but also using 0% cards and balance transferring between existing cards. Have you missed any payments on these yet?

Have you tried reclaiming bank charges or credit card charges? This may make a slight dent in the amounts owed.

Lula-Hula

Hi,

glad to hear there's no risk involved, sound like a great venture, best of luck with it & keep posting,

Well done you

lula

DebtFreeDan

Hi mate, well done for banning yourself from the gambling companies! :T

Good luck with the loan application and I hope things work out for you with the book selling venture!!....oh and do change that signature (DFD) - it can't be as bad as mine !!

Dan :beer: