i need help with my son desperately

trojanhorse_2

my partner slept with someone else and we have a 7month old son together.. im am the father... since that i have treid to remain freinds for my sons sake but shes become very cold and unstable! she keeps taking off with him keepin him in his car seat for hours on end... she takes him here there and everywhere and i never know where shes sleeping.. different places all the time.. she leaves him with family members and goes off without returning for like a day.. she is bringing him to my house in themorning for me to watch him... what legal rights do i have to refuse to give him back until she goes and gets some help and sorts her self out?

could i be prossecuted?

Zara33

trojanhorse wrote: »

my partner slept with someone else and we have a 7month old son together.. im am the father... since that i have treid to remain freinds for my sons sake but shes become very cold and unstable! she keeps taking off with him keepin him in his car seat for hours on end... she takes him here there and everywhere and i never know where shes sleeping.. different places all the time.. she leaves him with family members and goes off without returning for like a day.. she is bringing him to my house in themorning for me to watch him... what legal rights do i have to refuse to give him back until she goes and gets some help and sorts her self out?

could i be prossecuted?

Hmmm have you parental rights/responsibilities

sarymclary

It depends upon what you consider needs sorting out?

Is she mentally unstable? Is she taking drugs? Is she drinking to excess? Is she leaving the child in the car unattended, or is she just doing long journeys? Is your child in any way at risk? What is it about her that you consider unstable?

Does she have her own place to live, or is she having to stay with different people until she finds somewhere? Who are the family members she is leaving the child with, because if it's a grandma or aunt, then that would be appropriate childcare.

How old is your ex partner? I get the impression you are quite young. I imagine she is 'cold' towards you because she is no longer in love with you, and it is her immature way of dealing with the end of the relationship.

Have the two of you sorted out a regular structure to your access, ie. you see your child every Wednesday and Saturday, with an overnight every other weekend, say?

This child has 2 parents, and either one of you face breaking the law if you deny access to the child. You would be placing yourself in a position where you will be seen as the least desirable parent if you were to refuse to return your son to his mother, without good reason.

The only valid reasons you could have to refuse to return a child would be that in doing so the child would be placed at considerable risk and vulnerable to harm if you did. In that situation I would suggest that you involved Social Services, NSPCC and a lawyer.

I think you should try to get some legal advice here to have a design of structured access, and in doing so you ex will know that you take your position as a father seriously, and if matters got out of hand you are prepared to involve a lawyer. You can get half an hour of free advice at most legal firms. It will cost you to have a letter sent from them, but most offer a pay as you go fee structure, and if you are in receipt of some benefits you could be able to get Legal Aid (which is a loan of payment, which you're expected to repay when you are able to afford to, like if you were to get a job).

Do not do anything silly! Have you spoken to your relatives or friends about this?

**MissL2**

Re the driving aroung part.

I had a good friend that did this after a relationship broke down. When I asked her why she confessed it was because when she was at home she would feel depressed and driving around was a release.

Could you offer to have your boy with unlimited access for her, for a couple of days whilst she gets her head around things?

Lx