Told - Ex Not Allowed To Stay For Even 1 Night ??

xgingerx

Hi, need some good advice please.

This morning I went for a interview with the compliance officer at the local job centre. He was asking me questions about my ex staying at my house. I explained that he lives far away and does have a good relationship with his daughter and from time to time I have let him stay 1 or 2 nights on the weekend and mainly whne I have been going out. Anyway I didnt think I was doing anything wrong as we are 100% not a couple and has not been for the last 5 years. He has his own place and is on electoral role at his address for over 4 years, he works their and everything. The only reason I let him stay some times is to help me and to keep him in touch with his daugher as he lives over 150 miles away. Im frightened that when I tell him he cant stay at all he may not come as often and this will really upset out daugher as she is besotted with him.

They told me that they have not been watching me but this didnt mean to say they wouldnt in the future.

Now im really worried and upset by this and would really appreciate any help and advice reagrding this as I dont know why 1 night is really going to hurt anyone? So does this mean I cant have ANY freiends stay over after a night out??



Thks

Boppy_2

I think they're trying to scare you to be honest, yes there are people out there commiting benefit fraud but you have proof to say your ex doesn't live with you. I wouldn't worry too much, if he stays occasionally then that's fine.

ALIBOBSY

The compliance officers job is to look at possible couples and gather info to see if under the law they can be treated as a couple. This does not have be a "physical" relationship. They are looking for a financial link.
Unfortunately the complaince officer will deal with many people lying about living together (when I worked at the DWP we got dozens who stated they lived "in my car" we aren't living together honest) this can make them come across as cynical. However you aren't living together, its and occasional thing and you have given your statement and can prove it. I doubt you have anything to worry about.

BTW this may have been because a previous claim had you both on it?
In all claims were there has been a couple or 2 people of any gender share the living together has to be considered. Sometimes a paper dec is done, sometimes a compliance officer will ask for further info. To be honest the compliance officers where I worked would go out and visit at home if they really thought something looked dodgy (they don't just deal with living together but with other aspects of the claim as well). If you have recently claimed it is just part of the application process.

ali x

leebee11_2

hiya,
to my knowledge, you are allowed someone to stay three nights a week. if it is 4, then they are with your more than half the week, so technically living together. three is okay, i understand as I sometiems do the same for my daughters father. dont worry, you should be okay if you can prove it, like he doesn't still get bills or anything sent there?

SuziQ

leannebarry1 wrote: »

hiya,
to my knowledge, you are allowed someone to stay three nights a week. if it is 4, then they are with your more than half the week, so technically living together. three is okay, i understand as I sometiems do the same for my daughters father. dont worry, you should be okay if you can prove it, like he doesn't still get bills or anything sent there?

This is NOT true I'm afraid. They specifically will not say HOW many nights someone can stay as it isn't based on that but whether there is a financial link /whether you are a couple etc.

You need to be very careful about this as things are really hotting up with compliance at the moment and I know several people who have fallen foul of this because they assumed the same as you.

xgingerx

Thx Suzi, this is why I posted as I dont want to get into trouble and its really confusing where i stand on this, I spoke to my ex and he doesnt want to get me into trouble but as i feared he wont be able to come every week to see our daughter as hes not exactly got a fantastic job and its already costing him £40+ in petrol to make the trip.

We are not a couple and dont have any financial links but Im frightened about this, should i still let him stay a night a weekend or not.

thx for all the replys but im really not much the wiser

At the end of the day its my daughter who is going to miss out and shes a proper daddys girl

thx all

astonsmummy

Let him stay, as said, you are not financially linked and it's not all the time, they cant do nothing.
Dont let them scare you, you are doing nothing wrong and IMO have your daughters best interests at heart which is important.

hanny83_2

Do you think that perhaps a nosy neighbour has seen your ex come and go and has jumped to conclusions? If that is all that has happened I would carry on as you were before, just explain the situation to the compliance inspector and ensure that there are NO financial links. Everyone is entitled to a life and it is brilliant that you are still on good terms with your ex.

If this situation is working well for you and your daughter is benefitting and there is absolutely nothing dodgy going on then you have nothing to worry about. The proof will be all there in your bank statements (but it won't get that far, I'm sure)

tink_the_stink

Thers's no hard & fast rule on a "partner" staying over night, its all about maintaining common households e.g. do your neighbours consider you a couple, do you holiday/socialise together, do you do each others washing, go shopping together, cook for each other things like this.

Got to remember is that alot of married couples do lead separate lives so its not about sleeping together.

Maybe the best thing to do is let your daughter go his home over the weekends & then they'd have nothing to question you about.

Or even better get a job 16hrs a wk & claim Tax Credits, think you'll find you could be about £40pwk better off & they don't take into account any maintenance he's paying.

Good luck!

crutches

Could you stay with a friend whilst he is there? If they could confirm that and its only once a fortnight or less I'd think that would be fine?