Desparetly depressed in dept!!!!!!!!!!!

Eli_2-2

Hi, im new to the board, I have been reading through some other threads, in someways its comforting knowing there are other people out there...
i'll try and keep it short and simple.
Me and my partner, not married, living together, we both have got debts in our own names, none joint.

My partners is approx £40k
Has been made redundant, but is working as a temp atm, has applied for so many permanent jobs, but no one interested, maybe the time of year, this temp job finishes at the end of this year, and beleive me its not easy trying to get temp work to keep ticking over!!
He is in contact with the CCCS, but they have said until he has a permanant job and regular salary, they cannot help.
He has got a few default notices, today he got letter from solicitors, saying if not paid in full, he will be taken to court, he has been paying all creditors £5 a month.

Me approx 20k
I work 6 days a week, I am paying my creditors £5 monthly also, but CCCS have said untill my partner is in permanant employment, they cant help me either, even though our depts are separate, we still live together.
We have a 10 year old daughter, that is fed up with mum and dad working 6 days a week, and being farmed out to friends, and taken to work with me on holidays/when ill/saturdays, sat in the back reading and drawing for 6 hours!!

We wont be able to pay the rent in January! that means, well I dont know, we will be kicked out and end up in a B&B.

I have worked all my life, I took one year out to have my daughter, what have I worked all these years for?

I dont own my own home, a ex a few years ago saw to that.

Sorry to sound negative, just trying to keep it together, its our fault, we spent the money doing a run down house up, then didnt make any money on it, but still had stuff on CCs, I was made redundant at the beginning of the year, and paid all bills on CCs.

Just a mess, ive got a lot of mates that are single mums,in there nicely furnished council houses, the latest clothes, out every weekend clubbing, cars.
Where have I gone wrong, why have I bothered!!
I just dont know how to carry on, im sick of struggling all my poxy life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bonnie_2

your rent is a priority pay that before anything else are you claiming tax credits and housing benifit, you may be surprised at how much you can get.
please post a statement of affairs all ins and outs and remember you dont have to feel guilty for your partners debts they are his responsibility not yours.

tomstickland

Sorry to hear about your situation. There is loads of advice from experience people on this board that will help you sort your situation. The main thing is you need to get to a position where you can see the way ahead and it sounds like that's not the case at the moment. Start with a statement of affairs so we can see what comes in and goes out each month. The idea is to then look for ways of cutting down the outgoings and maximising the ingoings. As already said, try to reduce the weight by concentrating on your £20K.

Juni_3

Eli, I really feel for you but you can get out of it.

Back in the early 90's I was well over 30k in debt (a huge amount back then) and there wasn't the support there is these days. I picked up 8 ccj's, had the phone cut off and everything else with it.

My kids hated me having to work all the hours too. My eldest two really missed out but you can't worry yourself about that too much. Kids are very tough and when they're older they do realise the sacrifices you made.

I now owe nothing to anyone. All my mates in their council houses are still there running up huge debts for junk they don't need and their kids are going the same way.

I bought a house for my son a few months ago with cash and that was a great feeling.

Believe you can do it and you will.

Sorry I couldn't help with more practical advice, there are people here who are more up to speed with the current practises. I really, really wanted to try and give you some positive outlook as you do seem so depressed.

Eli_2-2

Well i'll break it down how CCCS have told us, this is the problem, separate depts, but joint bills.
We cant apply for housing benifit, its in our contract that no DHSS involvementm if they get wind of the situ atm, we would be out!!!

Rent £625
Council tax £144
Electric £50, (DD, because couldnt pay bill, so last bill and future amount worked out monthly)
Gas £20 (same as above)
Water/sewage £44 (same as above)
Car HP £176
TV licence £10
Telephone £10
Net £20
Mobile £65 (contract,mines £15, his is the rest!!!)
Food £200
Car insuarance £120 (hes got 2 bans, careless driving and 9 points,BUT he has learnt lesson!!! not boasting, thats why insurance is so high, no one will insure him)
Petrol £100 (might be a bit more, he temps all over the place, 5 miles down the road, even 50 miles, just to get work)
Car tax/maintenance £15
We dont go out, we dont have haircuts, he has to buy astmha pumps, not sure when, I need new glasses, maybe contacts cheaper?

Im sure there is other stuff...
I cant just concentrate on me, we are a couple, hes up at 4am, home at 6pm, both minmum wage.
So ive got to try and help him as well.

Gonna_Do_It

I am sorry to hear your distress, but please try and stay a little positive because you can and you will get through this.

It would be helpful to see what the debts are, interest rates etc. and income/outgoings etc posted so we can look at the exact situation.

Your friends may be out at weekends in the latest clothes, but who is to say they are not in debt too! They may have loans you don't know about.

Yes, this time of year can be quiet for recruitment, but if he keeps at it something will come along, and I am sure there is plenty of Xmas work to keep him going, it may not be want he wants, but enough to help you guys get by.

Don't worry to much about your daughter, after my parents got divorced, my mum had to work full time and we did not see her as much as we liked, but hey that's life and you can make it up later on in life, there are sooo many working mothers these days, so lots in your situation, dont worry.

It is great that you want to sort things out and I truly wish you all the best and hope that your partner gets a job and you cans get yourselves in a better situation.

Good luck xx
It will be ok

Biffa

Eli,

Are you in private rented accomodation? Is it part of your tenancy agreement that you can't be in receipt of HB? Which area do you live in?

How old are you both? I may have missed it, but do you get WFTC and CTC?

Who's is the car? Could you give it back and get something cheaper out of the paper? How long have you had it?

Sorry for all the questions.

At the end of the day, although you are in debt, it's not the end of the world, although I know it feels like it. Big hugs to you both though.

hobo28

What do you earn? What does your partner usually earn and what is he currently bringing in?

Also, what part of the country do you live in? £625 where I live would get you a HUGE house but obviously in central London, not much. Is there a reason why your OH is spending a whole £50 a month on the mobile? I use mine for work and last month was in a foreign country for a week. The whole bill was just over £50!

Gonna_Do_It

Can you change your car to a cheaper one?

How many is the food bill for? 3

He needs to cut down his phone bill!!

tomstickland

Right, I'll add that up. You are both working hard at bringing the money in, so you also need to look at cutting back expenditure. I'm not fully genned up on cost cutting, but I know that people will advise you to bin the phone contracts, probably tell you how to cut the food bill etc and how to eat well. Meanwhile I'll add that up.

juliag

hi , dont panic, the most important things in your life are you , your daughter and your partner and life will get better. how many times have i sat here in a state,.tackle one thing at a time and remember dont be bullied by these companies, you will get better advice by other people on this website they are fantastic , and in a few months time you will be helping others with what you have learnt, all i can say is post everything, all your debts who there too, and you will get help, i currently have turned a debt of 10000 pounds around and have the company on the run with the possibility of mis sold ppi insurance please dont get too down sometimes it all seems so hopeless but you both have good salaries and everything will be ok, you are on the right website and the right people will help you julia