Advice needed please

Boppy_2

My husband and I have 2 lots of friends involved in this, couple 1 lets call them A (male) and B (female) couple 2 C (male) and D (female.) A and C are best friends, they've only just got really pally, take the dogs for walks together etc, all very innocent, except B and C have been getting pally through texts also, D didn't like it, tried to put a stop to it and we got dragged in for our opinion. C likes to be centre of attention so I believed he had possibly stirred it but B seemed really upset, she claimed it was because she didn't like to be accused of things she hadn't done. We thought that was the end of the matter.

Last night my husband came to bed and said you need to read something on the computer, I don't know what to do, basically B had told my husband that she was going on a dirty weekend away with C and A didn't know. I was fuming, told hubby he had to tell A as A has been a really good friend to us over the years, he doesn't know what to do, hardly slept thinking about it.

He's gone out this morning still not knowing what to do, would you tell or keep your nose out? I think D needs to know also but we're not as close to her and C is a serial cheater anyway so she knows what hes like and stays with him anyway

So in brief B is knocking off C behind A and D's back, would you tell?

Thanks in advance.

Emmzi

I'd assume A and C no longer wanted to be my friend because no friend would put me in such a horrible position. And I'd find nicer people to hang around with.

RedBern

why did she tell your husband their plans? Surely she realised it would put him in a difficult situation? Agree with Emmzi - stay out and find other friends.

Boppy_2

I don't get it either and I mentioned that to hubby, either she wants him to make it easier for her by telling her husband or she really thinks he's as slimey as the bloke she's knocking off. Out of the 4 of them there's only her husband that my husband really cares about so it really has put us in a tricky situation.

Any

This is very difficult situation and we have been there as well.
And from own experience - if you tell him, most possibly he will go off without sensible thinking and you can end up paying for it all. Because as much as it is sensible thing to do to tell him, people in that state are not able to think sensibly. Also if his wife will try to get out of the situation (as she might comes the time, because if C is serious cheater she will be hurt and disapointed and try to keep her own husband) she might blame you and tell him that you are trying to make her look bad when nothing has happened etc etc etc.
I have been in this situation twice and even though it was tough for my friends getting over the humiliation that I knew while they didn't (I have to say I never had a proof though, so I didn't want to stir anything) they are now my best friends as once they found out we were there to support them.

sandra_nz

Emmzi wrote: »

I'd assume A and C no longer wanted to be my friend because no friend would put me in such a horrible position. And I'd find nicer people to hang around with.

Couldn't have put it better myself! :T

jay11_2

I'd either forward the email to whoever seems appropriate, either A or D with an 'I dont know if B/C is joking but maybe you need to chat with her/him'. Or I'd return it to B with a strong message that you don't want any further communication.

I've seen people who've found out about affairs, only to discover that friends knew before them and they've felt doubly hurt, betrayed, and foolish. Personally, I'd want to know if I had a cheating spouse.

ameliarate

I'd either forward the email to whoever seems appropriate, either A or D with an 'I dont know if B/C is joking but maybe you need to chat with her/him'. Or I'd return it to B with a strong message that you don't want any further communication.

Perhaps if your husband could get him to your house whilst you are out if that would make it a little less difficult for him (if that's possible) and show him the message. Tell him that he just did not feel he could have this information and not pass it on. 5 minutes before he does this tell the one who sent it what he is intending to do.

Presumably it is not some kind of wind up?

A horrible situation for you

hot.chick

I would forward the email to ALL of them with the subject line:

We don't want to get invlived!

and then leave them all to fight it out!!!

foxxymynx

foward the email "accidently"?

Steel_2

It will all come down to taking sides. If you say nothing, the two nipping around having the affair will assume you're on their sides and when the spouses find out you're up a creek.

If you say something, the two spouses will assume you're on their side and the two having the affair will not speak to you again.

You may even find out that you will be blamed by both sets of friends for putting the cat amongst the pigeon and causing trouble, even though you are not to blame.

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. The only way forward is to follow your principles.

If you have the strength, tell the two having the affair that you dislike being put in such a horrible position, that they have no right to drag you and hubby into this and you will not be complicit in their wrong doing. That if they do go away and do this, you will have no choice but to cut ties with them all as they are intent on hurting their partners and dragging you into the whole s****y situation when it blows up and their spouses find out you were in the know.