Christmas Misery!

Rach2007_2

Thanks everyone for all your lovely replies. Got tears running down my cheeks that people are being so nice!
Silly, just hadn't thought of Ebay for my son's presents, I'm sure there's loads of stuff on there for his age (3). I also loved the other suggestion about helping him get into the spirit of it (food for reindeer, baking etc). Most of my fondest memories of Christmas were things like that, not just the presents.
I'm still undecided about what to do for the nieces etc, they are all close and I do know them quite well. They are only very young though, ranging from 6months to 4 years so it's not them that I'm worried about upsetting, it's their blummin parents. But I will be re-reading all your answers again before deciding what to do, so thanks so much again.
Rach
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HairyHandofDartmoor

Don't spend so much on the nieces and nephews! It's not fair on your own son, especially if they are loaded.

I always put my own nuclear family first, that is DH and the children. Then after their needs are met I can think about others in the family.

Why don't you get them a selection box each or even a new looking book from the charity shop? Some charity shops have brand new items in their that are unwanted gifts, etc.

Also if you can't afford the petrol don't go! Have a quiet family christmas at home. I have been in this situation before where a family event has occurred and we can't afford the petrol money or other expensed involved, and we always make an excuse not to go if this is the case.

You can't enjoy chrismas with relatives if you are worried about what it's costing you!

foxxymynx

Yu don't have to spend so much on your family. If you really feel that you want to or need to, why not try making things? There's a thread on MSE that shows how to make little toiletry muffins. You wrap a face cloth up and put it in a muffin case or something, pin it with clothes pins and tie it wih a ribbon or something like that. I'm thinking of doing some of my nieces something like this with little mini toileteries.

I agree with the others, concerntrate on your little boy and have Christmas at home. Family will understand.

jellybean08

For this christmas I'd stay at home if i were you, and like lots of others have suggested look after yourselves and your little boy. It might not be a lavish xmas but you could still have fun baking with him on xmas eve and leaving something out for santa and kids don't need the most expensive toys. If he's anything like my nephews they prefer playing games with the rest of us so you could get some cheap games for xmas day and make sure you have a nice dinner and watch loads of lovely xmas films. you could always help him make his own stocking (there are some kits in tesco's for about £3 but i'm sure you could even do it cheaper if you look at the special occassions board) and fill it with little inexpensive items.

Regarding your family, i'm sure they'd understand if you couldn't spend anything on them this year. hopefully they're like mine where we don't expect a present just because we're giving one to them. My sister isn't well off and i'd rather she spent her money on my nephews. I still treat her to something nice at xmas though. I bet you're little boy will still get loads of presents off your family. You could even send them some nice homemade cards instead of presents this year.

I don't know about your OH's parents but if they really want you with them at xmas, maybe they'd pay to get you up there?

And finally, sorry for the essay, but remember that you're doing the right thing by sorting your debts out and it won't be forever. If you follow all the tips and advice on here I bet by next xmas you could have a nice little pot of money put away.

Good luck with it, xmas isn't all about the hype at the end of the day.

Moozer

Hi,
I agree with everyone else, focus on your son. If you feel you can justify the cost of travel visit the relatives, if not don't.

As for the neices and nephews (and their parents) - perhaps buy a 'family' present? You could even go for one of the Oxfam 'buy a goat' etc pressies on their behalf.

LoulaBelle

Think of your child first - then other family members - find yourself your nearest pound shop and have a good look around - there are loads of things in there - sometimes Disney and other branded names - you don't have to spend £15 - £20 per child - if their parents are loaded let them buy the expensive things ..........

Errm slightly sneaky but if you can't say that you can't afford to drive up there petrol etc - how about 'coming down with something' - like a really bad cold that you don't want to spread about - I feel bad for even mentioning it but some people don't like to say that they can't afford things - or you are just 'getting over something' and are still feeling too weak to travel etc - just a thought - it doesn't always work mind you - I had the flu last christmas (for real along with my 2 year old) and the outlaws (sorry in-laws) still descended - I was in bed most of the time as I really was so ill - my demented husband was running up and down the stairs - how do I cook this and that - oh whatever - just don't forget my lemsip I felt like saying ...............

I wish you the best!

Rach2007_2

Yeah, I think the main thing is is that I know that getting into more debt just to pay for xmas is not the answer. It's just not an option I will even consider this year.
Realistically after giving it much thought, whilst I can't face asking OH parents for petrol money, I can take a deep breath and tell them that they'll just be getting homemade/token presents this year and be done with it. Ditto the nephews etc. It's the only way we'll manage it. I'm also fine with getting stuff from ebay for my boy and after staring at my excel spreadsheet for the past two hours it's the only way we'll manage it, AND be able to enjoy christmas ourselves for what it is.
I'm heading off home now, but just to say thanks again for all your lovely replies.
Rach
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RAS

Hi

I think is is quite fair to explain to the parents that you are not loaded, what with the credit crunch.

bake some bikkies, make up a pot of hyacinths and give them to the family. They can get the kids to open them and frankly how much more plastic tat do the kids need? They cant concentrate on any of it as they have too much to cope with.

The other place for presents for littlies is www.freecycle.org. Does it matter if it is not new?

misspoppy

May be you plan a secret santa for all the neices and nephews this year usually when people talk about cutting back everyone breaths a sigh of relief. Suggest to the family that each child has one person to buy for that way they get involved too. We did it with the adults a few years ago and its been brilliant. 1 decent present instead of loads of tat!

I would also stay at home this christmas and save the petrol money family should always understand. Is your DMP with one of the debt charities they aren't usually so tight that you can't cope?

Travelqueen

Sorry to hear about your situation

Some other people have mentioned the special occassions board and it definately sprang to mind when reading your post. There are a couple of things in particular - the chocolate slab people have been making (from smartprice chocolate) - melting it and personalising it so it looks really posh, and the 'snowman soup' presents which I bet your neices and nephews would love.

I would also suggest freecycle - I just freecycled a pair of roller trainers on there to someone to give to her daughter for xmas and you can get all manner of things.

I take into account what people say they want it for before choosing who to give stuff to, so I'm sure if in any repplies you gave a brief outline of your situation you might find people more sympathetic

I know this might not help, but have you thought (if its a possibility) of public transport up north? Anything you can pre-book to make it really cheap?

All the best anyway

TQ