Christmas Misery!

Rach2007_2

Hi all
I'm a long term lurker on here who's looking for, well I don't know, maybe a bit of cheering up, or some advice.
Basically we've been on a DMP since June (due to hubby's accident and lack of work in his sector - now working permanently thank goodness) which doesn't budget for xmas. I have been trying to put away a bit here and there for xmas but I have found the DMP budget so tight, that I end up just using the money that I've put away a couple of weeks later. Put it this way we've had one night out since May, and I took the car to save money!

We've nine people to buy for at xmas, all family, mostly nieces and nephews- (I've already told friends we can't afford to do pressies this year) but even trimming it down to £15-£20 quid per person I still can't get it down to a reasonable amount. What's upsetting me more than anything is that I haven't even considered my own little boy's present.

Coupled with this we've got to drive 300 miles up north to stay with DH parents over the xmas period so we've got to find the money for the petrol for this aswell!

I'm sorry for sounding so 'woe is me' but what should I do - I just feel so upset that I can hardly spend a bean on my own boy because I have to find money for my nieces and nephews, whose parents are absolutely loaded.

Any suggestions as to how to handle this I would really appreciate. I've thought about making biscuits/cakes for our parents but should I leave off buying for my nieces and nephews and so what if family talk about us? They will get so, so much anyway.

Thanks for your help, and sorry for sounding so depressing!

Lotus-eater

If it was me, I would tell them you are sorry, but you cannot afford to drive up this year. Buy very small presents for nieces and nephews, say £5 and tell your family you are going to do this, so they don't spend too much on your little boy.
You don't have to spend alot on presents for your DS, its being with his parents and enjoying the day that matters. Try 2nd hand presents for him, there is no disgrace in that.

Bean_Counter

If it were my family I would not buy the nephew and nieces a thing, wouldn't buy anything for OH (or me) and spend whatever you can on your own son. I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Not sure how well this would go down with your family. If they are loaded and their kids all get fancy presents anyway, the kids are unlikely to notice (depending on age.)

I would also be tempted to make an excuse not to go away to OH parents for Christmas and stay home and have a great time the three of you.

You have to look after number 1 in these circumstances. I hope it all works out.

Toto

Hi Rach, welcome to DFW, nice to see you posting.

Christmas is a tricky time I know, but it isn't about how much you spend, especially not on extended family.

A good place to start would be over on the christmas forum. Hop over there and take a look at what some of the ladies create for next to nothing. They make up super hampers and things which look lovely but don't cost much. The link is below. You still have time to get together some vouchers from places like pigsback and survey sites so check those out too to see what you can get. Could you ebay anything? I am thinking petrol now.

here's the link to the lovely special occasions forum.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=101

littleowl

Oh Rach2007 - why not just concentrate on yourselves and your son this Christmas? Things are hard for you at the moment and surely your family will understand.

Many years ago we, as a family, decided not to buy for nieces, nephews or any members of the extended clan but just for our own children and parents. I can tell you that it was a relief all round! Christmas isn't - or shouldn't be - about what you spend on presents but that you remember your family and friends with love and affection expressed clearly enough with cards and phone calls.

Sadly so many people feel pressured into buying things which will probably not really be appreciated so why do it?

debtfreesomeday

Hi Rach2007

First of all, sending you cheery-up hugs.

As for Christmas, we don't spend £15-20 on some of the people we get pressies for and we can buy really nice things for a lot less. Try looking on ebay maybe for a few bargains for the kids, children enjoy the spirit of Christmas and as they'll be getting so much anyway they won't worry about, or remember in a few days, what you bought them.
Perhaps instead of a present for your little boy, you could buy something small and maybe do a christmas-themed treasure hunt with him. Maybe bake some chirstmas biscuits with him if he's old enough, leave reindeer food (oats) in the garden for santa's reindeer and do lots of activities to really get into the spirit of Chirstmas with him. He will remember that a lot more than an expensive gift.
What about a photo of your little boy in a nice frame for grandparents etc, or a framed piece of his artwork?
I'd suggest not buying for the adults - and just explaining beforehand that after everything you've been through, times are a little tough this year.
Hope a few of these things help and yu have a wonderful Christmas xx

Kmac_Edin

First up Rach.... take a step back. Your wee boy is the most important person here (as well as you and your OH) and your Xmas should be the priority and nobody elses.

Xmas gets complicated at the best of times and neices and nephews make it even more so. First of all how well do you know them? If you know them pretty well then maybe something small, if however you dont know them well at all I'd send a card.

I'm harsh when it comes to these things because I hate al lthe family politics ( including my own!!)

Do you live far away from the neices/nephews? If you do why not offer to take them for a few days - they get a wee holiday, their parents get a break and you have bought yourself some time to put a bit of money aside to pay for the extra food etc when they are with you?

Hope this helps Rach xx

scaredy_cat

you should look after your son first and then the neices and nephews!!

have a look at this thread : http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1251857

also there is a Special Occasion forum where people have been posting all sorts of ideas for making presents, like small hampers filled with goodies at a fraction of the cost!

I think if you make the neices and nephews some fudge and cookies, wrapped up in cellophane (from Ebay) they will be just as happy!

scaredy_cat

oh.. have you thought of opening up a savings account and putting your left over change from the weekly budget in it? That way it's not readily avaialble and you can save a bit for Xmas!

kazwookie

You look after your son, OH and self first, personally I would forget about buying presents for anyone lese this year.

Kids IMO get far far too much, sounds like your nephew / neices fall into this area.

You enjoy yourself

redsquirrel80

Hiya It's really your decision whether to buy for all the nieces and nephews or not, but if you do, make it something small, as you've said they'll be getting loads. I would have a look through the Freebie board on here for little bits - toiletries, chocolate, that sort of thing, there was even a free DVD offer that I'm pretty sure is still on, obviously depends on their ages - and buy bits from pound shops etc. Home-made things are lovely as others have said - what about doing a basket for each family to share rather than individual presents, it's a bit different and should be cheaper?

Most of all, it's about spending time together, and I hope you have a lovely one xx