housing benefit and outgoings..please help

Oldernotwiser

viktory wrote: »

*Sigh* Here we go again. The b'friend has child/ren from a previous relationship, the OP and aforementioned b'friend have a child they absoutely cannot afford and the OP claims HB/C Tax and anything else that is available.

When will it end?

When we as a society decide that it's the parents' responsibility to support their children. In other words, not for a very long time!

Edit: You forgot to point out that the OP already has child/ren she can't support.

kristy82

what kind of world is it when you kindly ask for advice and help and get attacked for unfortunately having to be a single parent supported by benefits because there are some men out there who just treat women like !!!! and reduce us to living like this!!!

Oldernotwiser

kristy82 wrote: »

what kind of world is it when you kindly ask for advice and help and get attacked for unfortunately having to be a single parent supported by benefits because there are some men out there who just treat women like !!!! and reduce us to living like this!!!

If that's the case, why do you want to live with him?

krisskross

kristy82 wrote: »

what kind of world is it when you kindly ask for advice and help and get attacked for unfortunately having to be a single parent supported by benefits because there are some men out there who just treat women like !!!! and reduce us to living like this!!!

It is up to the women not to allow themselves to be treated like that. I assume that you willingly entered into parenthood with your present partner.

kristy82

im not talking about my present partner, if that was the case i wouldnt want to live with him!!

im saying i was left as a single parent before after i was treated badly and i helped myself and my kids by getting away from him. I dont want to live like this anymore. We want to do things the right way and live properly as a family.

Oldernotwiser

kristy82 wrote: »

im saying i was left as a single parent before after i was treated badly and i helped myself and my kids by getting away from him. I dont want to live like this anymore. We want to do things the right way and live properly as a family.

I think that what puzzles some people is not the fact that you've been left in the lurch with young children, because of course that can happen, but why you should then have another one that you can't support, either alone or as part of a couple. For many people this doesn't come under the heading of "doing things the right way" .
I hope you manage to sort something out.

SomeBozo

what kind of world is it when you kindly ask for advice and help and get attacked for unfortunately having to be a single parent supported by benefits because there are some men out there who just treat women like !!!! and reduce us to living like this!!!

Thats not the worlds fault, its the individual who allows themselves to be treated like that.

Bozo

OrkneyStar

Ditto a lot of the other posts really.
In all honestly why should HB be more for you than someone else in the same circumstance, just because your partner chooses to have more outgoings ? This is not meant to sound harsh but is a reality check.
Do both of you need to consider your expectations more eg can you reduce spending anywhere (things like mobiles, landline bills, gas, electricity, insurance), can you reduce grocery spending (try the old style board for lots of ideas) ? Should you get maintenance (sorry not sure if the current bf is your LO's dad- if not why is their dad not paying up ?) ? Is bf spending a lot going out (if yes then reduce this NOW), on debts (if yes, then try the debt free boards), on other random 'stuff' (can it be reduced).
TBH my husband and I don't have a lot coming in, we get little help other thans tax credits and Child Ben (which I am grateful for), we certainly don't get any housing or council tax reductions.
I think you need to sit down together and see where every penny goes tbh, that way you might start to see a way forward, good luck.