Harassment/Sexual Harassment At Work

lufcgirl

I feel like I'm banging my head off a brick wall at the moment with her.
Just spoke to her (she's away visiting family) and said I was happy to help her buy coming to the police, backing her up etc..but she's said it won't go any further. She just wants to find a new job and get out.

I said what about when it happens to another girl and you could've prevented it, she said well they can report it but I'm not.
I'm of the view that if you do something of this scale then you should be disciplined, she doesn't. I've seen people be sacked for far less and I think someone needs to stop him. Next time he could progress to even worse sexual assault!

Skint_Catt

I agree with you lufcgirl, but sometimes the stress of the whole thing can put you off. Just be gentle with her and see if you can talk her round - she can even raise a grievance the day she leaves so she doesn't need to be there while its being sorted. How could she live with herself if one of her current female collagues gets seriously assualted by this guy, or even raped.

docij

While I can understand your frustration at her lack of action against this man, it's really important that she retains control over what happens to her. It's easy to see what should be done when you aren't the victim but much harder when you have been so distressed by a situation. The management have clearly had a chance to see the man in offensive mode and should be watching his behaviour with other women staff. As skint_catt says, she could raise a grievance the day she leaves and the HR department can arrange to interview her away from the office.

poet123

I agree with you, but everyone has to do what feels right for them. If she isnt comfortable with taking the issue further then you really can't force her,especially in view of your past relationship. I think your friend has made her decision and with respect you need to back off now and let her get on with it. Ideally he would be stopped in his tracks,but it seems your friend just wants to move on,so you need to respect that and let it go too.

jumpycheese1

I think I which call centre it is, as I used to work there. I am suspecting this due to the name of the post creator. As she is a temp, she needs to approach the temp co-ordinator (whatever the title is that sorts out temp problems such as pay etc) and request to change departments. If I am right, the call centre is HUGE and could work in that dept. I did transfer depts at my own request as I was on the tech dept and found it took difficult. I hardly saw my fellow colleagues once I moved depts as for starters my office was the opposite side of the building. There are a few industrial estates around the call centre, but the call centre is one large building with smaller buildings at the front of the building and within the complex (used by different organisations)

This awful man needs sacking, not your friend!

lufcgirl

Hi, and thank you all for your replies.

JumpyCheese, unfortunately I'm not from Leeds, we live in Newcastle but it's a call centre in Sunderland (I'm sure theres only one there so if you look it up it'd be pretty easy to find). The recruitment agency are just the guys who pay her and do her holidays and work from an office in Newcastle, they have no idea of whats going on with it being an actual permanent member of staff it's with.
He does indeed need sacking, I've read the text messages...I think it was yesterday one was sent saying 'I'm on late shift this week so you better make an excuse for coming in late'...something along those lines. If you actually get the subliminal message in the text! Apparently he's scared of me, god knows why, I'm tiny! But I guess it's because I know everything. I'd just love to catch him after work and warn him off her and other girls, it's not right at all what he's doing...and I'll be damned to see another girl get treat like this by him

reehsetin

make sure she doesn't delete anything else!

take screen shots of anything inappropriate on facebook etc and a diary of events

ceridwen

Hi

Just to say I hope things work out for your friend. She has been rather naive in her behaviour - agreeing to meet him in the carpark, not having suitable privacy settings on Facebook, etc - and I suspect this guy has picked on her because she comes over as naive. These characters know who to choose.

I can certainly see why she is worried about this.

The one good thing is that I dont see her as being at any sort of risk from management sacking her or anything. In fact - rare as it is for me to say owt like this - I think they sound like they have been supportive of her and taken just the right actions from what I can see. The fact that another girl has complained about him as well lends weight to what she says - and the fact that management then suspended him for 2 weeks shows that they have taken a strong move to tell him to stop this behaviour.

So - I dont advocate swopping jobs - particularly in this current economic climate. I second the thought of going to the police.

She seriously needs to keep a Diary of Events - write out everything that has happened to date as far as she can remember it and write out future incidents in detail:

- Time/date/place/exact words he used and actions he did/any witnesses/etc

I can understand why she would want a new job - but there is always the risk of this guy following her and lying in wait outside any new job she has. Why the heck should she change job anyway - when this is down to him, not her?

Ultimately though - the decision as to how to handle this obnoxious man lies with her. I can say:
- change Facebook settings
- tell management the latest
- keep a Diary of Events
-tell the Police
- ignore this man as far as possible
- join the Union (if she hasnt already)

but - in the end - its down to her and no-one can make her do anything she doesnt want to.

I think the only thing you can realistically do is suggest the above list of actions to her, point out that management are being supportive to her where she is (that might not be the case with any future firm he followed her to) and say "Why should YOU get another job - when HE is the problem?" and point out the difficulties of getting another job in this current economic climate and ask her if its fair for HER to lose money because SOMEONE ELSE is a problem person.

I suppose one plus point is this guy might be huge in size - but he's stupid and a bit naive himself - to come out with this sort of behaviour right in front of management, where they witnessed it that time. In front of "useless/do nothing" type management that would have been one thing - but to do so in front of management that IS actually doing something - now that IS stupid. Hes not very bright is he? His own dimness will help to bring about his downfall somewheres along the line.