Things are hopefully looking up!

hayley11

peka2k wrote: »

Tell him to get his act together or he can sling his hook. He wont get carers allowance cos hes too useless to even care for himself.

Find out what debt is his and what is yours, then boot his sorry !!! out of there. Losers like him will just drag you down all your life, trust me.

That's a bit harsh. He's not a loser. He doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, doesn't cheat on me, mostly he treats me very well and has to put up with a lot of medical stuff with me and he's always there for me. His good points far outway his bad points and if you're in a proper relationship, you don't call it quits just because things are bumpy, you stick it out. He just had it too easy at home, always had mummy looking after him and I think it's a shock for him now that I wont do it.

Anyway thanks everyone for your helpful replies, really appreciate them.

I have chased up the housing benefit, still wont tell me if/how much i'm getting, will ring them again tomorrow. Will have a look into carers allowance and disabled tax credits, thanks.

We've had quite a big row today about it all and I think he's finally realised how much it's getting to me and how serious the situation is. He's rung a few agencies and emailed his CV to a couple. He's going to go to an agency tomorrow that just offer work on a daily basis in factories and things like that, just to try and get a bit of money. And he's got an interview Monday so fingers crossed he gets that.

RAS - most of the debt is mine, he just has the credit card and overdraft, which comes to about £4500. Actually made a mistake, he doesn't have a Lloyds credit card now, he got an interest free RBS one before he left, i'll go change that.

I think i'll ring CCCS in the morning and just see what they say suggest.

Thanks again everyone, just showing your support makes me feel so much better about everything.

Hayley xx

dancingfairy

I would probably see if you can get a seperate bank account and get your benefits paid in there. In theory the bank can't take benefits to pay off debts (ie overdrafts) but they could and then you might have to persuade them to give it back to you so to save yourself the worry I would get a new bank account away from any of your creditors.

Your essential outgoings:
Rent - £475
Council tax - £86
Gas - £40 (I recently changed tariffs with Eon)
Electric - £40 (as above)
Water - £32
TV License - £11.29
BT - £40 (tied in until August 2009)
Sky - £50 £40 will have to go - stop paying this
Setanta - £15 ditto
My Mobile - £35 (reduced from £40, can’t reduce it more than that as I need the texts and minutes, tied in ‘til December)
OH Mobile - £35 (tied in until December)
Shopping - £150 (this is approx, I have no idea how much we spend on shopping, not a lot if our cupboards are anything to go by )

Are still more than your income so you need to work on getting your gas and electric and water up to date first - they are priorites. Everyonelse should get a token 1 for now I think. Please phone CCCS as they will be able to hep you. You will be in a much better position if your boyfriend signs on and you get all the benefits your are entitled to. I think you maybe able to afford all the essentials if you are getting all the benefits etc available to you and your OH. At least you have realised there is a problem and your rent and ct is up to date which is a good start and it sounds like maybe oh is begining to realise there is a problem as well.

It's not the best idea in the world to quit your job without another one lined up (I know I've been there and done that) but also if it had got that bad then I think at the end of the day you have to take steps to look after your health as life is too short. I'm sure your OH realises it wasn't the best idea ever but it is easy to feel desperate and you have no other option (especially in the heat of the moment). What matters now is keeping yourselves afloat and workng as a team. You will get there. Good Luck with sorting everything out tomorrow.
df x

cornishinfens

Hi mate - i'm also in a similar position - but single.

Speak to BT and explain your position to them - they can only say no to changing the tariff. Ditto with Sky i'm going to re negotiate with them and get rid of the bits i don't watch, OK i'll miss the grim adventures of Billy and Mandy and the powerpuff girls etc but they just have to go! As i'm getting rid of 90% of my social life i think i can justify having some TV choice - so can you. I'm guessing the Setanta is the OH's then dangle a carrot! if he gets a job any job then he can keep it. I'm going hrough my life and utilities bit by bit and i'm amazed how much you can save - things i'm going to do is going to stop going to Tesco and start using Lidl and Aldi etc. stop buying impulse items... Selling everything i dont use - got hundreds of CD's i never play will stick em on Ebay etc even if i get a quid an album i dont care...

check out the site thoroughly and you will pick up loads of hints and tips as you go on... Monday night i was so bad i was feeling physically sick... Tonight i'm seeing a glint of silver in the distance... once you see that glint you know there is something to reach for.

Have a chat with the OH - see if he'll take any old job... once he's back in work then he can keep looking for something better.

Good luck...

hayley11

The only debt connected with my bank account is the lloyds credit card, they charge me £12 for not paying it then go and take the payment anyway So yeah might go and open another account up, I don't have an overdraft anymore so that's not an issue.

My boyfriend however has a huge overdraft and credit card connected to his bank account so will also get him to open another one.

Be good to keep the money we've actually got completely seperate from our debt and then we'll pay them what we can when we're in a position to.

To be honest I think he quit because he was scared, he was getting so down and the year before I'd been getting pretty stressed out, wasn't happy at work and I had a bit of a breakdown, had to go on anti-depressants, wouldn't even leave the house etc. And I think he thought if he stayed there and it got worse, he'd get the same as I did. But still not a smart thing to do and I think he's learnt his lesson. He's never been out of work so this isn't a pattern for him.

I probably know every trick in the book about saving money thanks to this brilliant website but putting them into practice isn't always that easy. Sky and Setanta are def going coz we just don't have the money there to pay them anymore, before he always had his overdraft but that's almost maxed out now.

Anyway I've got a list of things I need to do tomorrow to try and get some extra money and i'm going to make sure they all get done.

Hayley xx

hayley11

Just a quick update, I have applied for carers allowance (well my boyfriend has applied for it for me) and they say they might backdate it 3 months which would be great, wish I'd known about this before, we could have been claiming this for over a year!!

OH has also claimed for JSA, he's really hoping he'll get the job tomorrow but just in case he doesn't.

Going to ring about tax credits tomorrow and try and get those sorted. And i'm going to chase the council about the housing benefit again.

I've filled in the debt remedy on CCCS and i'm going to ring them tomorrow and see what advice they can give.

Hayley xx

dancingfairy

Glad to see you are taking the bull by the horns and things are looking more positive for you.
df

georgiasmum

I agree about getting Rachel off Xfactor!!!

savingholmes

Hi Hayley - glad to hear things are starting to improve for you. I find that just by taking action to resolve the problem I feel better, as I feel more secure. Good luck on OH getting a job too! Keep us updated on how you get on!

hayley11

georgiasmum wrote: »

I agree about getting Rachel off Xfactor!!!

:rotfl::rotfl:Yay!! I'm not the only one who hates her! :T

Thanks for the replies. Feeling much more positive and determined to get on top of things!

Will keep you posted xx

clearmydebts

Best of luck Hayley. My OH went back to uni cos his job was making him feel so down. It has been hard financially but sometimes you need to quit if it is making you feel ill.