can childhood romance reblossem?

leo~saphira

I got a seriuos probelm that cropped up over the last few days and wondering what you peeps think.

Right this goes back to my school days some 10 years ago I met a lovelly lass at school - sent 2 years together - fancastic times I loved it. But family move promted our breakup.

Roll on 8 years and we finally got in touch again via a famous school reunited site I am all for metting her again and seeing how things are (also going back to the town which i am some 200miles away to visit other friends I used to know). What my issue is - my ex has made it clear that there is problems in her current relationship with her current boyfirned, This is before I even came into the picture as there has been some family issues and she opened up to say the current sistuation will/may be the end of her current relationship

Thats the questions what if? My mind and heart is in a spin at the moment - I can only say that if your single I would sweep you off your feet Somehow I still feel for her - she has been texting me on the quiet and hasn't told her current B/F about the renewed talks with me or the pending visit for drink. I have told her - to save her from hurt not to show any of our texts and hide the fact that she is even talking to me (a old flame )

I want to play this safe - we do want to meet (as friends to catch up on the last 8 years) but I don't want to find myself as a wedge in a love war - help...!!

JoolzS

The really sensible part of me would say that you need to tell her to sort her own life out and then get in touch with you. However, if there are no kids involved, and no marriage, then just go for it. Just be very, very aware that someone is going to get hurt - it might be you; it might be her; it might be her OH. The chances are that it will be you! People tend to stay with their current relationship unless it is very unhealthy, regardless of how much they might feel for someone else.

Julie

ailuro2

Meet her in a group with your other friends, and tell her not to text you until she is free to do so.

Otherwise if you do get together you might always be wondering what other people she is testing without telling you.

Rebound romances don't have as much of a chance, better imho, to give her a chance to work out whether she wants to stay with her current partner, or leave him to be on her own. Leaving him for you might become an issue further down the road.

Good Luck, remember to put yourself in the other bloke's shoes and you'll soon see where I'm coming from.;)

pinkshoes

If she's been texting you and hasn't even told her boyfriend that she's been in touch with you, then I'd stay clear, as deceipt usually only leads to disaster!

She's 200 miles away, so find out about the last 8 years by email for now!

paddy's_mum

Meet up by all means but be prepared for the row of bullet holes appearing across your chest when the boyfriend finds out that she has been preparing the ground for her next relationship behind his back.

In your shoes, I would be wondering how trustworthy she is .. if I fall in love with her, is she going to be doing this same disloyal thing to me five years along the road? As the others have said - for your sake if not for hers, she needs to clear the decks of debris before even contemplating another romance.

Mojisola

In answer to the original question - can childhood romance reblossom? - it definitely can. My friend's wife linked up with a schoolday's boyfriend through the same site. They lived on the opposite sides of the country but that didn't stop the romance and she divorced my friend and is now back with the childhood sweetheart.

pukkamum

I think it can blossom again but you need to make it clear to her that you won't be her 'bit on the side'.
I know it will be hard but i would suggest cutting all contact until she has decided what to do.
Not being awful but if her relationship is on the rocks anyway you coming along may just be a big boost for her confidence after all if your current partner isn't giving you the love and affection you need how wonderful to have someone romancing you.
I could be wrong of course but you really neeed to pin her down on her intentions.

vixarooni

If i were you i would make it clear that we are meeting up just as friends to catch up.

Its not fair on her partner to be hiding texts or anything. If your relationship is going to re blossom then it shouldnt be built on hiding things and lies. Perhaps she needs to think about her boyfriend and decide what to do after she meets up with you, but she should tell her current boyfriend that she is going to meet an old friend. What if one of her boyfriends mates sees you two together? it could save arguments further down the line if youre all a bit more open and honest.

Errata

She may have been the love of your life all those years ago but she's a cheater now. She's cheating on her current BF and probably won't think twice about cheating you. Is that what you want in a GF? Would you even want to be friends with someone who behaves like that ?

CAFCGirl

Primary question, yes it can re-blossom.
A year ago on FB a young lad I used to go to Junior school with (my 1st bf) got in touch, a month later we were dating, 3 months later we moved in together, 5 months later we got married and here we are, happy as larry! xx

However it sounds like your old flame essentially wants someone to offload to. If she is unhappy in her current relationship she owes it to herself and her boyfriend to deal with those issues, have a amicable split, learn and grieve for the relationship, and move on in herself before embarking on a new relationship.
I under completely that you want to protect her, and take her from 'harms' way, and be everything that you feel she deserves. However you will only have heard her side of the story, not saying shes lying to you, but its all open to interpretation.

Be a friend, get to know her, but avoid chats about her relationship until she has decided what shes going to do.
Good luck to you and I hope it works out as well as it can for everyone involved xx

leo~saphira

I have made it clear I have no intention of being in the middle of a love war lol. But she told me its not what she wants - as her relationship is on the rocks cus of his ways - she reached a crossroads in life. I have told her that its a desision that she and current hubby needs to sort out. I am only a old friend, This is prior to me posting here - so its looks like I did the right thing

Should in the future that she is single then you never know - however I do not want to be that factor in the break up.

Thanks CAFCGirl thats what has happened - Well we have spoken - after 6 years (lost contact with her 6 years ago out of the 8) - such a sweet lass. we have avoided the current issue and spoke about the past. Things like school, life etc..