Shopping addiction treatment

marklunn3602

Hi

We've just received news from the OH's Doctor that there's nothiing they can assist with for the OH's love of shopping other than a self help group which may as well be a million miles away from us:mad:

I have asked this question on the other thread but does anyone here have knowledge of any type of help?

Mark

LilyBart

Sorry, Mark, no idea. But there may be an internet community that might help her, and you might want to press your OH's GP for a referral to a cognitive therapist.

marklunn3602

Lilybart

Thanks for that but excuse my ignorance when I ask 'what is cognative therapy?'

Mark

Rylynn

I cannot answer that question.

However can I ask what does she actually BUY? is it 200 pairs of shoes in the wardrobe? and no I am not taking the proverbial Pee either. I know someone who buys shoes like there is no tomorrow!

Who has control over the money in your house? could it be that you need to take charge and give an allowance only to your OH?

RL

pink-lint_2

hi mark its therapy for ...well what i had it for was obsessive compulsive disorder.

which i suppose shopping addiction is if its a compution ... i think

you just sit and talk to therapist

and if i was going to do something or check something i would have to distract my self , the therapist teaches you ways of doing so ,

hope this helps , sounds abit jumbled up .

pinkx

Errata

Mark, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is a method of learning to change one's thinking about things. I guess one of the thoughts your OH has is "I must buy that immediately" even though there are ten more exactly like it in her wardrobe already. The GP can refer someone for CBT but there are often long waiting lists. In the meantime, this online DIY CBT course which is backed by the NHS may be of help to her. http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/index.php

sententia_2

marklunn3602 wrote: »

Hi

We've just received news from the OH's Doctor that there's nothiing they can assist with for the OH's love of shopping other than a self help group which may as well be a million miles away from us:mad:

I have asked this question on the other thread but does anyone here have knowledge of any type of help?

Mark

As someone with a lot of experience from with the mental health system it may well be what you've been told is bullsh1t. If something the person is doing is compulsive behaviour which is having a detrimental effect on their physical or mental health then you need help from the NHS, full stop. The intensity and extensity of what help is available of course depends on the impact it is having on the patient. If it is your judgement that these compulsive actions are having a detrimental impact on the OH then I would say you need to need to push them to help you.

Mental health services are very poorly funded by local PCTs and the services available such as therapy may well indeed be limited. However a GP will also be aware that there is medication to assist with the any depression issues and compulsion issues.

It might be that at the end of the day the clincians take the view that the problem is not serious enough to offer medication or therapy. BUT if you feel that this is a real and serious problem that is impacting on the person DO NOT leave it as it is.

Keep going back, reporting the problem and its effects, telling the doctor what impact it is having on physical or mental state. Ask to discuss whether a chat with a Community Psychiatrist Nurse could help in making a proper assessment of the patient's needs. From personal experience unless you push they won't do anything. You MUST stand up for yourself. It took 3 years from me going to doctor, to CPN, to psychiatrist, to specialist referal in a regional centre before I got the help appropriate to my needs.

That's just my rather pessimistic view of the system. The help is there. You just need to make sure you get it.

Dorothy56

Hi

I know right now you are obviously very worried about money - but is there any way at all you could pay for an assessment by a private Clinical Psychologist or a Psychiatrist - it might open up why your OH is shopping compulsively, because there is normally some sort of underlying reason why people have compulsions.

Unless someone has had a compulsion I think it's really difficult for them to understand. Perhaps you should go with her to to GP and vehemently stress the huge impact this has been having on both your lives.

Wishing you well

Dorothy

Dorothy56

Hi again

Also found these links which may or may not help....

http://www.compulsiveshopping.co.uk/

http://www.successfulhypnotherapy.com/symptoms_treated/compulsive_symptoms.htm

www.theway.uk.com/addictions/types/typesshop.html


http://www.stoppingovershopping.com/

Dorothy

Dorothy56

Also found this:

Shopaholism

by Susan Quilliam
Many of us madly overspend now and again, but for oniomania sufferers, this shopping frenzy is no laughing matter

For up to ten per cent of women worldwide, shopping doesn't just lead to a bit of overspending. They're shopaholics - driven to spend far beyond what they need and far beyond what they can afford.

Why does it happen?
Shopaholism - or oniomania as it's called by psychiatrists - is driven by the same kind of motivation that fuels alcoholism or drug use. A woman feels bad - anxious, lonely, worthless, angry or lacking love. So she goes out and buys things - not only to give herself love, but also to prove to the world at large that she's 'worth it'.

Shopping gives her a high - so she does it again... and again... and again. The more expensive the goods she buys, the better she feels; her brain flooding with 'feel good' chemicals.

Very often, though, as soon as she's spent the money, she realises it was a bad idea. Particularly if she's overdrawn, she feels even more anxious, guilty, scared of the consequences, angry with herself. There's only one way out - shop again.

Facing up to it
Does any of this sound familiar? If you suspect that you're a shopaholic, the first step you need to take is to admit it.

So first, audit your budgeting habits - are you spending beyond your means? And check with friends and family - do they feel you are overspending?

The way out - short-term solutions

• When shopping, make a list of what you need and buy only that.
• Pay with cash - don't use cards or cheques. Take out with you only the money you will need during the day, no more.
• Destroy all your credit cards except an emergency one that you ask a friend to hold for you.

The way out - long-term solutions

• What pain in your life are you trying to dull by overspending? To recover, you need to cure that pain. List out all the problems you think are driving you to shop - work issues, relationship crises - then tackle them one by one.
• If your pain is deeper - low self-esteem, loneliness, depression - then dig deeper. How can you change the way you think and feel about these issues so that you can get them sorted, once and for all.
• A counsellor can help you resolve past issues that may be causing you pain in the here and now. Particularly if you think that childhood events are triggering your emotional pain, get professional help.
• Recently, doctors have found that some antidepressant drugs used to treat obsessive compulsive disorder are also useful for shopping addiction.

The way out - resources

• Ring the National Debtline 0808 808 4000.
• Find a counsellor: BACP has a list of counsellors practising in your area.
• See your GP.
• The Samaritans are available 24/7 on 08457 909090.

LilyBart

Terrific research, Dorothy.
Mark, CBT, as explained above, is a type of therapy whereby you talk through your thought processes when you are about to do something compulsive - be it shopping, drinking, gambling, self-harming, shooting-up - with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. It's a form of therapy that's designed to tackle a specific behavioural problem, not the sort where you lie down on a couch every day for 17 years and free-associate or talk about your potty training or generally turn into a Woody Allen character*. Haven't done it myself, but I have friends who have found it very helpful - the idea being that you become able to identify the feeling when you are about to behave compulsively and learn to recognise that and stop the pattern. Resources are hideously scant on the NHS, but from what you've written about your OH's problem, I think she has a very strong case for demanding some kind of assessment and referral.
Lily

* er, not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. It's just not CBT.