Carers -Lets support each other

redbull08

Hi
Im an unpaid carer for my bro with mental health problems.
if i claim he loses his premium & council tax exemption.
i am his only relative, his support workers never been good ive fought them for years for a decent service & lose every time.
this is mainly to ask does anyone know if you can still get a one off back dated carers payment, where he wouldnt lose any benefit?

cw18

I've never understood what benefit someone would lose

I'm about to claim Carer's Allowance as my husbands carer, and I know he has to sign a form to say he know's I'm applying as it may reduce his benefits, but having spoken to IS several times they've run through what we'd be entitled to..... and nothing has dropped of the list in full or even in part !!!

Is it different because we're a couple rather than individuals living at different addresses ?

katierose

Hi everyone,i have a 13yr son with learning difficulties and is also on the autistic spectrum.

Also dh has mobility problems due to nerve damage in his back and had to take early retirement 4 yrs ago when he was only 40.I class myself as his carer to but can't claim carer's allowance as you can only claim it once.
And to top it all off i now have lung problems caused my dh birds(birds fanciers lung) i have an oxygen cylinder beside my chair and one beside my bed incase my breathing becomes bad.

sharon59

pleased youve joined us katierose -you have a lot on your plate.sending big welcome hugs to you sharonx

CarerQuie

I'm a Mum of 6 and the Carer for my 10 year old who has autism.He's quite a character but has a lot of the usual issues.xx

Savvy_Sue

cw18 wrote: »

I may look into trying to find a local support group -- but there's no way DH would play ball if I tried to get any sort of help in the house (or a 'weekend away' for him so I could catch up in the house myself).

Would he let you get a cleaner? Just a normal, like other people have, cleaner? So that you and he can spend more quality time together, or so that YOU'RE not tired out by all the housework? Nothing to do with 'caring', nothing to do with social services, nothint to do with him being ill, nothing to do with MacMillan ...

boredofbeingathome

Hello all, i am a carer to my DD2 who has had a bowel condition, since birth, tumour(benign) and then diabetes type 1.

I don't always get carers allowance for her as i work part time as a supply teacher and i sometimes need the release of work. (If that doesn't sound too selfish) She is a lovely young lady and recently we had some brill news that she has been put to yearly consultations with one of her consultants..i know it sounds daft, but it was such a major step for us at it meant we actually had a month without appts.
I do feel very alone at times, no one in my area had anything similar to DD2 and we had our nearest support group in Manchester for her bowel condition. Her diabetes has been well supported and although she gets very depressed at times, soon pulls herself out of it, to look at her you wouldn't think there was anything remotely wrong with her and that is also difficult to deal with as i need at times to park near toilets and trying to get a disabled display sticker is nigh on impossible. We cope though and that is all you can do.
I have found this site to be a godsend to those in need.
Bob x

cw18

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Would he let you get a cleaner?

Very much doubt it, as he'd still see it as an "outsider" coming in. But TBH, I wouldn't want one in either.... and if we did have one I'd be constantly hoverering over their shoulder!! Not because I'd doubt their ability to get things clean, but 'cos there are ornaments in the house that nobody but me touches !!!!! I did look at getting one a few years back (when we both worked), but decided I'd never relax knowing someone else was in my house touching my things

(just to clarify -- in the 18+ years we've been together, I've always been a bag of nerves if DH has taken it into his head to clean anywhere near these bits!! so it really isn't a case of not trusting someone 'cos I don't know them as well -- it's just me being paranoid as the items would never have the same sentimental feelings if they had to be replaced)

We also have the complication of 2 dogs, and I know (from previous look around) that a number of local cleaners won't go into homes with dogs unless the dogs are out at the time.

And I don't see how we can't afford one anyway. Been doing lots of sums ready for when my redundancy kicks in, and there's no way I can get us down to benefit level of spending -- best I can do is an average of £25/week extra, and that's with nothing for clothes, shoes, house/car repairs or birthday//christmas presents.

fryster2006

Hi all, I have 5 children, my second oldest Nathan has downs, and my youngest was born with a major heart defect (pulmonary atresia fallots type). She is also in the process of being diagnosed with a genetic disorder, duplication of chromosome 4, and deletion of the same chromosome at the other end? Has anyone else got a child with this 'condition'? We are seeing the geneticist on Friday and will find out more!

I think it's great to have this board on the forum!

kunekune

Hi. My eldest son has Down Syndrome, he's 9 now. My husband has Parkinsons, he was only recently diagnosed. He is still working full time but is under threat of redundancy, and if that happens that's probably the end of his working life. We can live on my income, but I was frazzled and under pressure before the PD was added to the picture! My dream was to both move to 75% of full time and reduce stress, get a better balance, but the reality looks like it's me working full-time, doing contract work for more money at the weekends, and the amount of help I get around the house gradually reducing as OH can do less.

While a carers assessment is on my to-do list, I'm not hopeful of a particularly helpful outcome, especially if it involves direct payments! It's practical stuff like cleaning, not respite care, that would help - I don't see that much of the children as it is! I can see myself slipping into depression (not for the first time) tbh, so having somewhere to moan is good. GP? I'm sure she'd love to see me but it's when to find the time!