She didnt go to CCCS

jackie_w

tyllwyd wrote: »

It sounds really harsh, but from what you've said it seems that a 'loan' of £1000 to your sister would really be a 'gift' of £1000 - are you in a position to do that? If not, it is better to say so upfront now.

And if there is no equity in the house at the moment, are you confident that there will be more than £1000 equity in the house anyway in three years time? Even if there was, what would be the chance of your sister being in a position to give you that £1000 back. Honestly, I think you should help her with support, advice, a listening ear etc but anything except money!

Hi, I could afford to give her a gift of £1000, but im not prepared to give that sort of money to someone in a gift. I have told her that if I do give her a loan of the money, she will have to pay us back every month.

jackie

sallyx

Jackie
Im not wanting to sound harsh but if she is old enough to have her own house, get herself into this debt and take advice from you, you have to walk away from the situation. You have done all that you can. If she asks for the money you can either refuse or offer it with condition that she seeks further advice.
End of the day if you keep bailing her out she won't learn (been there and done it!)

newlywed

jackie_w wrote: »

ive even said to her to come onto this board and get some advice, but, she wont.

It sounds to me like she doesn't even want to deal with the problem. She just wants someone to magic it all away and has the impression that this guy will do that. Giving her money, giving her a car etc will just add to her belief that she can get into debt and somehow someone else will sort it for her.

Unfortunately, one day she will learn the hard way. Whether that is now or later, who knows, but she does need to learn.

If she refuses your advice, refuses to ask anyone else or even look on here, she is either lazy or stupid Sorry.

jackie_w

Thank you everyone for all your advice.

Ive spoken to my husband again just now, and he has said that I should tell her we will lend her the money, but, the condition is she should speak to someone else ie CCCS or a Money Advisor.

Does anyone think this is an unreasonable request?

Jackie

ajaney

Hello again Jackie

It seems clear from what you have posted here & on your other threads that you sister is wanting an easy way out to a complicated problem, some of which is her own doing.

I dont mean to be harsh but if she has a week off work, why can she not just take a little time to seek the advice of another person?

My honest feeling is you have to stop giving her money - your hard-earned cash is just falling into a big black hole & you might as well set fire to it for all the good it will do in the end. My Dad has always been terrible with money - it got to the stage once where we were 3 months behind with the rent & eviction was being threatened. He pressured my Grandma into giving him £650 (back in 1990 so a lot of money) to pay the arrears, which he did but about 8 weeks later we were evicted anyway so my Grandma's money did absolutely no good whatsoever.

I say all the above with a heavy heart because I know it is a very difficult situation you find yourself in. Tough love is whats needed here.

Your relationship with your husband should not be put under pressure because of this.

I hope your sister has her full lightbulb moment very soon.

trancebabe

Nope I don't think that's unreasonable...

... but I very much doubt you'll get your money back because you'll be so low down on the list of creditors to even count for anything...

I hope she knows how lucky she is having such a caring sister

Good luck with it and keep ups posted
x

ajaney

jackie_w wrote: »

Thank you everyone for all your advice.

Ive spoken to my husband again just now, and he has said that I should tell her we will lend her the money, but, the condition is she should speak to someone else ie CCCS or a Money Advisor.

Does anyone think this is an unreasonable request?

Jackie

No, it is not an unreasonable request. If someone were to lend me money in these conditions, I would be prepared to do whatever they wanted. Your Husband is fully entitled to state his feelings - it is his money!

I would also say you should ensure the money goes where it is intended - perhaps by writing out the cheque directly to the organisation it is due to.

dancingfairy

Hi. I think you really need to try and sit down with her and explain that she is your sister and you love her but you really can't/don't want to lend her the money and she really needs to stand on her own 2 feet and that you are worried and want her to seek proper advice. What about your mum - will she listen to her?
Don't really know how you can help her to see it for herself to be honest.
Best of Luck
df x

milliemonster

jackie_w wrote: »

George,

I think the debts must be about £50,000 - £60,000, maybe even more.
The man she spoke to yesterday did say if her creditors refused to proceed with this, then the next step would be bankrupcy, but, again, this £1000 would still need to be paid to protect any future equity on her house.

What happens if the Hire Purchase Company want to take the television and the fridge freezer back? Will they contact her to tell her that they come to her hosue to repossess them? Also, as I said her ex husband has the tv in his own home, so, what happens if he refuses to give the tv back to my sis if the hire purchase company say they are taking it back.

Jackie

Hi Jackie

If your sister is made bankrupt at some point, even if she has paid this '£1000' fee to this company, it would not protect her home from being forced to be sold if there was any equity in it.

I am no expert on hire purchase but if the TV is in your sisters name, but is located in your sister's ex house then if the hire purchase company were going to repossess it they would come to your sister for it, she would need to get it back from her ex or I should imagine they would potentially take her to court over it. If the TV was on hire purchase, until she has paid for it in full she was not in a position to let her ex take it as it didn't belong to her. I would imagine that yes they would come to the house to collect the TV and also the fridge.

I have heard also that IVA's now are only being agreed if around 75% of the total debt is likely to be cleared over the term of the IVA, any less than this and it is likely to be refused.

I know its hard to stand by and watch this happen to your sister but you cannot get her out of the situation she is now in, I am sure she would agree to pay you back the £1000 monthly but if she goes down the IVA route, she will probably not have enough surplus each month to pay you anything anyway, you will never see that money again

jackie_w

Well ive phned her to tell her that we will give her a loan of the money, but, she should speak to a Money Advisor, she wasnt very happy. She told me that there is no benefit to this man to give her the wrong advice!!!!!! She said that even if she were to go to the CCCS, she would still need to pay them money!!!!!

Ive given her the telephone number of the money advisor I spoke to yesterday, she said she phoned them, but, there was no one there, so she has left a message for them to call her, but, I dont believe her.

Jackie