help for a friend

searching_me

my friends just told me thats shes pg... and although shes happy shes scared as well... basically she cheated on her partner once around the time she woul of got pg and although they used a condom (it didnt spilt and nothing leaked) she is worried that he might of father it... is this a case or is it just the partners.. i told know what to say to her x

blackeel

searching_me wrote: »

my friends just told me thats shes pg... and although shes happy shes scared as well... basically she cheated on her partner once around the time she woul of got pg and although they used a condom (it didnt spilt and nothing leaked) she is worried that he might of father it... is this a case or is it just the partners.. i told know what to say to her x

Providing as you say the condom didnt split or leak, and there was no chance of sperm entering her, she cannot have been made pregnant by this man...

searching_me

i thought as much... i sat with her for an hour tellin her the same but i just wanted to make sure... not to say i agree with what she did but a friends a friend x

feelinggood_2

Its unlikely, but it is possible.

Its a difficult situation, and can be handled in different ways. I'd advise her to not panic and not rush into any descisions. Tell her to give herself a few weeks to think about things and work out what she wants (not just wether to continue with the pregnancy, but about DNA tests, being honest with her partner etc).

Having been in a similar situation, I'd have thought I'd have had more advice to offer, but sadly its just a horrible situ all round, despite the happiness of being pregnant.

searching_me

she said she had sex him her partner around the time a fair few times but this guy once with a condom i wish i could say more to her but it is highly likely its her partners right? x

feelinggood_2

searching_me wrote: »

she said she had sex him her partner around the time a fair few times but this guy once with a condom i wish i could say more to her but it is highly likely its her partners right? x

As far as I'm aware, condoms are about 90 - 95% effective if used correctly.

The statistics are in her favour, it is likely to be her partners.

She is bound to be feeling awful, guilty and in shock now, but reassure her that things will get better and she will get through this. It might seem awful right now, but she will feel better soon.

searching_me

ive calmed her down and told her about me askin on here she seems ok now... i really do want things to work out for her im just keepin my fingers crossed x

feelinggood_2

One quote that helps me is:

"Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is? Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine. But guilt - no."

If she is anything like me, the guilt is the worse thing. That isn't helpful and it isn't healthy. The best thing to do is work out what went wrong, do what she can to put it right, and focus on not making the same mistake again.

searching_me

good quote i know where it went wrong from the sounds of it (flirting taken to far) ... but i'll be there for her no matter what .. what are friends for x