Am I the only one!?

finito

Just reading through some old threads and I noticed something BAT posted about Bankruptcy, "AND LIVING WITH IT."

I have been Bankrupt for over 6 months now. I had well in excess of 150k of unsecured credit with at least 18 different financial institutions.:eek:

Over a period of many years I went from bad to worse, both financially and mentally. When it eventually dawned on me that I had to do something about my situation, I was fortunate enough to stumble across this site. I was "lurking" for many weeks, trawling through the posts looking for information on the Bankruptcy process, and seeing if I could find folk vaguely in the same position as me.

It was really this forum that "empowered" me to take charge, get my head out of the sand, and put me first again.:A

I stopped paying all creditors and started to save the bankruptcy fees.

Oh my god, the phone calls and letters came thick, and VERY fast. This was a particularly difficult time for me as it took me quite a while to get everything ready for BR day. However and once again with the advice and help from this forum I was prepared for all the scare tactics and hollow threats from creditors and DCA's:T

BR day came and went. I did feel a huge sense of relief. Post OR interview and I still have my vehicle, I have no IPA, and I am sooooooo much better off than before my bankruptcy. Less than 6 months to AD and who knows, maybe even ED at some point, but I suspect not!!!

BUT, and here is the question and reason for this post. I have never once felt any shame or regret for walking away from all that debt. And to this day I still go as far as having a little chuckle to myself when I remember some of the things they tried to get money out of me.:rotfl:

Yes I am bankrupt, but I am also debt free. And that to me is worth any supposed shame or stigma I should have attached to me. In all honesty, I couldn't give monkeys about that part of it.:p

Is it just a mark of me as a person, and my personality that I feel no remorse about the financial institutions that I have shafted by going BR. Or do others feel remotely the same?

dalip

It is not slight on you at all. We are all individuals.

I have to admit i still feel guilty but i am learning to live with this.

Hey we are all different and deal with things differently,would not do to be the same.

EACH TO THEIR OWN.

Dxx

chelseabun_3

Hi finito,:D
I'm sure you're not the only one who feels that way! As you may have read on other threads, my OH will be going BR soon. We do feel bad about getting into this situation, but absolutely not about the financial institutions which encouraged us and tempted us to have more and more "consolidation" loans in a vain effort to solve the problems.:eek:

I am not blaming anyone else for our unwise decision making, heads in the sand and pretty poor budgeting skills . But I do hold the institutions at least partly responsible for making credit so easy to come by, and for giving the impression that it can all be sorted out so easily.

I also blame the '80s, when credit cards became so fashionable and credit was suddenly the new black! So actually, it's Maggie Thatcher's fault!;):D

CBx :cool:

shadowdragon

I think the stress off the debt outweigh any guild tbh in most cases. I am/was too ill to care about my debt tbh, I just wanted shut, and due to circumstances it was the best way forward. If you had said to me go bankrupt start fresh and not have a job/career or keep your job/career and the debt I would choos the latter, so its not a matter of damn its that easy wish I had got more, its about individuals and how you feel about it. For me its just one less thing to worry about, and in the three months since I filed my BC I have concentrated on getting better, and its one less thing hanging over me. I have no regrets and no real guilt about it either. I have more regret that I have lost a career I loved and probably could never go back too.

maxmycardagain

I feel guilty too......................:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

shadowdragon

maxmycardagain wrote: »

I feel guilty too......................:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

No max you were FOUND Guilty

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

maxmycardagain

shadowdragon wrote: »

No max you were FOUND Guilty

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

the !!!!!!s COULDNT find me at all..... :beer:

GettingHopeful

Thanks Finito - I feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

I did feel guilty and in disgrace to start with, and no-one else is to blame, but when I think back over the circumstances of the debts, I don't know what I could have done. I was going crazy with the debts in the end, but because the main cause was that I was trying to get myself out of ghastly situations in my life, I was going crazy with that situation too.

But now I am OK, well practically, and am getting on with my life, even enjoying some of it. I have enough to live on if I am careful, have been allowed to keep my car and have somewhere to live. I know I ought to be guilty, but instead, I am grateful that I have been allowed off the hook.

finito

Excellent, so it's not just me then!!

Work are begging me to do extra hours as well, but I think there is half a chance I might be more willing after AD, when the shadow of an IPA has gone!!!!!!!!!!!!

dodecanese

Hi
i must admit when I read the way banks/financial insititutions have behaved- I feel "serve them right". But personally I do feel guilty- I feel my bankruptcy was 100% my own fault, but I feel lenders have behaved in a very reckless way aswell.

Anna39

I have not got BR yet - will soon though, really hope to do it before this Xmas so I could look forward to being discharched before next Xmas.

Do I feel guilty?

Yes and no - I never planned/expected my cc to go from 12.9 to 29.9% without any warning for example. I never planned to not be able to go to work I used to love because of some unhelathy politics and ending up on half pay due to stress etc and practically not being able to find a similar job (tried for over a year now) due to again internal politics.

Life is life - I have not gone BR yet but... I am looking forward to it and to a discharge - starting a new life