Motivation To Cut Back

Judi101

Ok, I am not really sure this is in the right place but I am sure one of you nice people will move it if not. I have been on MSE for what seems like ages now and discovered my mother made me O/S. Anyway we have two gorgeous kids under 3 but I am no longer working and we really need to stick in budget. Things are really tight and we have £20 between me and OH to cover misc spending through the week (eg playgroups, all entertainment etc but also shoes, clothes). My problem is I know how tight it is yet still take the kids out for coffee and stuff and while I get the cheapest I can find (ususally McDonalds) I will also go and get a muffin or something. I do this 3/4 times a week and cant seem to stop it. What's wrong with me? I blow the budget every week and the savings will only last so long in covering it at this rate.

I have tried linking it to how much of my OH wage I am spending (0.5 weeks working to pay for me having coffee and muffin out), linking it to how much it would reduce of the mortgage. I really need to cut down on it but something inside me isn't buying it on one level. Am I obsessing about nothing?

I am looking for another job but its not easy with the costs of childcare for two but I am waiting to hear about an evening job with HMRC. Even then though I'd still like to be more disciplined and stick to the budget so we could use that money to pay off the mortgage quicker.

Am I boring everyone now?

sb44

Judi101 wrote: »

'I am no longer working'

My problem is I know how tight it is yet still take the kids out for coffee and stuff and while I get the cheapest I can find (ususally McDonalds) I will also go and get a muffin or something.

I do this 3/4 times a week and cant seem to stop it. What's wrong with me?

This sounds a bit like me.

I stopped work 10 years ago to be a stay at home mum after working without a break for 20 years.

I often find myself leaving the housework and finding an excuse to go to buy odds and sods at the shops and find myself coming back a couple of hours later.

You may not realise it or you may realise it and not want to admit it but could you be bored staying at home?

Kids are great and I wouldn't be without mine but you do sometimes feel that life may be passing you by when you don't have another life as well ie working life.

Judi101

I agree it could be part of the reason. I am currently waiting to hear about an evening job which could be just the thing to shake things up. It might give me the motivation to spend the lesser time I have with the kids more productively. I just feel so guilty when I take the kids out for coffee at the mo. Its even worse when I ask my DD what she wants to do today and she tells me she wants to go for coffee!

Mollymop5

Have you thought about having other parents for coffee and play.I do this with a couple of other parents and take turn going to each others houses.It breaks up the day and it's nice to have the company.Better still it's cheap

phizzimum

do you think that forbidding yourself to have a coffee/muffin is actually making you want it more? It's like going on a diet - suddenly all you want to do is eat. you make yourself feel guilty and then your will power disappears.

maybe it would work if you tried to replace the habit with something positive. maybe make a bunch of really yummy muffins with the kids and take these out with you to enjoy in the park after they've had a play. Or have them at home with nice coffee in a special mug - anything that makes you feel its a treat rather than a deprivation. those ideas might sound silly to you , but you get the idea, think of something that suits you and your family - as long as its fun and free!

could you find a way to "earn" a little extra money - enough for a treat once a fortnight? for example, whenever you use a money off coupon for your groceries - put that 20p you would have spent in a piggy bank. when you resist temptation to buy a magazine - put that £2 in the piggy bank. Sign up for mystery shopping - you can easily earn £10 a month doing that, sometimes more. that way you can treat yourself and really enjoy it.

Barneysmom

That's a good idea! Earn your treats, I'm going to do that myself. I have a fondness for frappachinos (sp?).

When my 2 were little, I used to read a lot, got through about 2,000 books I reckon, by the time DD started school.

Penelope_Penguin

Hi, Judi :beer: As your question has fallen from the front page of Old Style, I'll move you to the Families Board to see if anyone there has more ideas for you.

Good Luck!

VfM4meplse

Judi101 wrote: »

I have tried linking it to how much of my OH wage I am spending (0.5 weeks working to pay for me having coffee and muffin out), linking it to how much it would reduce of the mortgage. I really need to cut down on it but something inside me isn't buying it on one level. Am I obsessing about nothing?

No you are not, have you tried Martin's demotivator:http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/demotivator/

As you are not working the same stark message will come up, that is you are spending more than your salary and stop spending now.

Half of your partner's money on coffee and muffins?! Perhaps because everyone else seems to be doing it?

pukkamum

Have you tried going to any toddler groups?
At our local one you get a coffee cake and toast for a pound and you get to chat to loads of other mums as well.
I too was the same, found myself going into town and spending a fortune in pound shops!!!!!
I now only go in town if i need something and instead go the park (taking a flask, homemade cake and a book) no matter how cold it is.
Try keeping a list of what you have spent in the day even the little things, it really opens your eyes. I discovered i was spending a small fortune on magazines!!! So now limit myself to two a week!!!!

luckys_mum

How about allowing yourself a trip out for coffee only one day a week. Look forward to your one "SPECIAL" day out. Plan your week around your special day. It might make it easier for you to have one day out than fretting about not having any days out.

Cornishpixie_2

I used to have the same problem.Then when I became a SAHM, I vowed to cut back. It's ok when weather is ok, or really wet so can't get out. I try plan where to take DS3. Also how about having fun activities at home, or taking kids out for a walk, with a flask of coffee and snacks for kids. Home baked or sandwhiches is generally cheaper.Then limiting your coffeee and muffins to once a week. You could have a clear out and do Ebay or car boot to get some money. I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about it, as us mothers tend to be the ones who think they should make all the sacrifices. I know I do. Take care