Earning money when someone is depressed

CHARDONNAY_3

I too have struggled with depression, especially since my father died earlier this year and I am finding it very difficult to hold down my current job.

It often makes me feel weak when I see that other people appear to be coping just fine but I think reading posts like this and knowing you are not alone can go a long way to providing some comfort.

Magic_Mishkin

Hello again!

After my long post yesterday I will try and keep this brief.

I too have a wonderful husband who has been kind and patient with me. He also works very hard to support us financially and I do my best to keep our living expenses low.

Until now I have been too ashamed to confide in my friends and family about this, but your own stories and support of everyone on here has shown me that I can start to make a difference in my life however small the steps.

Anyway, I know I have a long way to go but I think doing some voluntary work may be a good place for me to start.

Best wishes and hugs to you all!

Easymobile_emigre

Hi in case anybody is interested there is a new NHS project called Improving Access to Psychological Therapies which uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy mainly for depression and anxiety. It's being rolled out throughout the UK and is/will be able thru' GP surgeries. there are also computerised versions such as MoodGym (Australian) and Living Life to the Full (UK) which are both free as well, if you want to find out a bit more, links below: http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/index.php hope this helps! Easy

angie12

Hi again.
Chardonney, I know exactly what you mean about feeling weak. It's that feeling of being weak that causes the terrible feelings of shame that Magic Mishkin, speaks of. When in reality, we are not weak at all. You have to be strong to cope with depression. Some don't cope at all.
Nowadays, I tend to keep it to myself because I got sick of the 'advice' from none sufferers, such as:

"What you need is to start doing some excercise. That will cure you,"
I mean, I know full well that excercise is known to improve you mood but, when just finding the will to get up and battle on through another day drains every last drop of my energy, flaming press -ups, are the last thing on my mind.
The other tip that really gets my goat is:

"Don't bother taking tablets, I took them for a couple of days and I felt a lot worse, I just stopped taking them and got rid of the depression myself"

Well, If either of these options worked, they were not suffering REAL depression.
I've had two relatives who for years had poo pooed depression as self -pitying nonsense, until they had a bout of it themselves.

Easy, I had heard of these self-help sites some time ago but, didn't know their names. I will give them a peek. Anything is worth a try. Thanks
Take care everyone
Angie12

CHARDONNAY_3

Just want to say a big thanks to easy for the link to living life to the full site.

I have signed up and am very impressed with it so far.

I would recommend anyone with depression and/or anxiety to try it.

There is also a forum so you can share thoughts with other like minded people.

Easymobile_emigre

Good to hear you like it Chardonnay and I hope it does help. Having suffered from depression myself I've done a lot of research into what is available and there are loads of different therapies out there.

But CBT is the one most research has been done on by the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) and it has been found to be effective, which is why the NHS is using it. For some people CCBT (Computerised CBT) is ideal, others may want individual support of the kind I mentioned is becoming available in the NHS.

Personally while I'm aware of my negative thoughts and beliefs and they do seem to be entirely credible at times, I look upon them as just one of a number of possible viewpoints and that I keep an open mind about whether they are correct or not, I try not to buy into them, sometimes I just think 'wow that was negative' but I don't get hooked in as much as I used to.

There's also something called Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy which is a combination of mindfulness meditation and CBT which I really like. Again I think NICE now recommend it for treatment-resistant depression. If you're interested read the reviews on the book about it on Amazon but it is cheaper on The Book Depository (online book store based in Gloucester) and you don't pay postage, links below:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Way-Through-Depression-Unhappiness/dp/1593851286/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1224272401&sr=1-1

http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/WEBSITE/WWW/WEBPAGES/showbook.php?id=1593851286

I feel a bit wary about offering advice because I know it is really irritating when someone listens to you for all of 30 seconds and then starts to tell you how to solve your problems. But I hope this helpful, I just wanted to say there are things you can do and increasingly there is help available.

All the best to you and the others on this thread,

Easy

jaxdia

Easymobile_emigre wrote: »

But CBT is the one most research has been done on by the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) and it has been found to be effective, which is why the NHS is using it. For some people CCBT (Computerised CBT) is ideal, others may want individual support of the kind I mentioned is becoming available in the NHS.

I was asked if I would like to have CBT, but unfortunately, I was told there is usually a huge waiting list for this is most areas. I'll be lucky to hear from that department in 2009, let alone before the end of this year. So I definitely wouldn't rely on getting CBT from the NHS at this time.

skattykatty

Hi all...so good to hear that so many of us out there are coping. Contributing to this thread is a show of strength. Brilliant to see that there are people out there who feel they can begin to talk about what is going for them and that we can support each other as far as we can.

I know I have suffered depression on and off since childhood but a breakdown over a year ago brought everything to a head. I resigned from my decently paid job and have only recently taken up a part-time job - 2 days a week, which feels 'just right'. I am now mulling over other things I could do: proofreading; copywriting; tutoring...something that will enable me to have more control over my time.

Anti-depressants stabilised me and I managed to get some group CBT through GP. If there is a long waiting list in your area for 1:1 work, maybe ask if there are any groups? It's daunting (and I really didn't want to go to the first session) but does help to think about your thinking! Personally, I feel that CBT appears to work best with very specific anxieties. A long-standing, recurring depression may require more long term work.

Good luck to all...take good care....;)

Pinzy

Having left my job/house/boyfriend in the space of a week, 3 weeks later, even if I'm getting 8-10 hours sleep, I still feel like I could sleep more. Plus I'm getting more nervous about going out and doing the Avon. I was wondering why I was so tired all the time, then it hit me.... the depression's trying to come back! Constant tiredness and hiding away from people - bingo.

So, I'm very pleased I recognised the signs! I forced myself to have a wander round the busy city centre (after applying make-up and looking reasonably well dressed of course!), have roped in mum as company for Avon, and have stuck a post-it by my bed saying "YOU NEED TO GET UP AND GET OUT. SERIOUSLY."

Just goes to show, at least if you've been through it once you can recognise it and hopefully stop it from creeping up on you again. Cuz it is a creeper that depression.
Do keep pushing yourself, the most important thing is to keep trying.

gibboelli

I'm a manic depressive and i cant deal with people in the slightest. I'm a gardener by trade and manage to keep a few little jobs in peoples gardens but I've been very lucky where the owners just tell me anything they want doing in particular and then leave me alone, i just have their pets for company which suits me well! There are plenty of days where i dont want to leave my bed and luckily my bosses are fine about it, though if i dont go to work I dont earn any cash. I only earn about £150 a month anyway as i just cant get the strength together to promote myself some more.
I have tried in the past at Garden centres for the regular work but just couldnt deal with the people and doing the dogsbody jobs. (As I'm only 20 it's assumed I'm an idiot and know nothing about what I'm doing) You soon loose the will to live when your main job is making tea for the other staff, lifting anything marginally heavy or sweeping up when the boss enjous staring down your top.
I'm gonna try again in the new year to get a lickle part time job to boost my earnings. I think I need to find somewhere with animals to work, then I can talk to them instead of people!
Luckily my fiancee is fantastic and really supports me. He accepts what I can and cant do and expects nothing than for me to try mu best. He really is fantastic.
Unfortunately I think most people think I'm just too lazy to get a 'proper' job, but I'd be happy being a jack of all trades and earning enough to get by. Happiness is so under rated.
I've found slice the pie a god send, it's paid for my Xmas presents of ebay and when I build up enough I transfer it into my bank account to buy something I need or help pay a bill. It's boring to do, but I just focus on the money and what it can do for me.