What would you do?

pink_princess

Rach28 you really need to toughen up pleassssse .
OP If you feel you cant stand up to your ex then tell him you ve rang them (csa)and asked them to reduce the payments but they refused, Talk to him about their new 2 year rule.
Don t let him off again ,they will leave him enough to live on he s just pulling at your heart strings .
This is what the goverment think your child needs and deserves ,do you really think shes worth less?
(i dont mean that in a bad way lol)

aMeLia'S~MuMMY

He does not have to pay this arrears figure every month ..he has the option to pay the arrears in a FULL LUMP SUM.perhaps he should consider this and then negotate repayments with his creditors. Many nrp's remortgage and pay by credit and debit cards the full lump sum..if he can pay a mortgage and have the latest gadgets he needs to get his priorities in order.

If the arrears figure is not paid off in 2 years then the case gets refered to enforcement anyway which could mean bailiff action CCJ's etc...I know which option I would go for if I were in his situation.

Pssst

My heart bleeds for him. Listen,its not your problem so why are you stressing over it ? The issue is between him and the CSA and you need to keep out of it. Its simple in my view, Either he pays for his child or i (taxpayer)pay for it. It isnt my child,i dont want to pay for it,therefore he must pay for it.

Tracymae

Just spoke to the CSA and they said there is nothing I can do about it, if he has problems then he can contact them and they may or may not compromise the amount he has to pay back. Rach thats a very selfless thing for you to do....I don't think I can be that generous, after having a good long think about it £1500 that he owes is really him getting off extremely lightly. I think over 11 years including the few payments I did get before he ditched his jobs it works out at around £15 a MONTH which is frankly insulting.
I am going to take the tough line and stay with the CSA and let him worry about the payments. He does have other options and can get a loan/use his credit card to spread the repayments.

evie451

its a rock and a hard place situation Traceymae. i understand why you are stressing over it, you are close to getting some money for your child and it could all be snatched away again. My ex is safe from the deo's as he pays himself whatever he wants.

The CSA have had no luck getting the cash from him so far but the couple of times they have got close i waited by the phone and tried not to let myself think about what life would be like with regular maintenance. And when the deadbeats disappear off the radar again its devastating.....i tried to come to a private arrangement for less with my ex but it lasted 3wks like you.

My opinion is that you need to let him get on with it, if he has a wife and a mortgage its harder for him to disappear now, try talking to him (hard i know) and tell him that the CSA are willing to speak to him about the arrears....

Kimitatsu

For all of you that are feeling sorry for your ex's - they have a responsibility to YOUR children. They were here first and whatever has happened they have a moral and financial duty to care for that child.

If they can afford a large house/plasma tv/brand new car etc etc then why should your children suffer? It is up to them to budget their finances to ensure that their repsonsibilities are paud for. After all if they were on the amount of money they are on and they didnt pay the gas bill, they would get cut off. Would you feel sorry for them and pay it for them ir tell them that they need to make an arrangement and manage it better.

The CSA bill is no different. Personally, I would not be putting my ex's financial obligations before that of my child, as that is what the money is for, the upkeep of your child. Even if that means you put it in a high interest savings acount (or under the bed in the current financial climate) then it is for them, not for a new plasma tv.

Just my thoughts.

Ivrytwr3

you've sufered and struggled all these years, now it's his turn to grow up and face his responsibilities.

Let the CSA deal.