Divorce - Other half removing possesions from home

Gforce_2

Viper_7 wrote: »

Squabling over little things?!

Stereo system is around £700

Took around 600 Cd's...

50-60 books

Yes these I guess are "hers" ie... I'm not too fussed about Take That!
and yes she'd take these when she moves out anyway - but that's 6 mths away at least.
It's more the principle, that she's just taking stuff out without informing me and really if she's allowed to do this as it's considered an asset. I agree these are just possessions, but they all add up and what next? the TV?! she could be selling them for all I know....

I've spoken to her tonight and she's all apologetic, we are being amicable about our breakup, but taking stuff without the other's knowlege isn't too amicable.

The question was really is if she's allowed to do it, but she won't be doing it again anyhow! Makes you want to go around taking pictures of everything....

What a mess!

Cheers,

Vipes



sorry about the repeat posts.. just noticed them. I kept getting an error and it asked me to refresh.
(removing the duplicates)

If the items are "hers" then why shouldn't she remove them? I could understand you being annoyed/concerned if the items were jointly owned but that doesn't seem to be the case here. I think you've done the right thing though, talking to your ex first rather than rushing to a solicitor.

Viper_7

The thing is the items are not her's. they are ours.

Ok. what if I blow my savings on the horses?? That's MY Savings.,
You can count on the fact that I'd still have to pay her half of those "lost" savings as I'd be seen as disposing of them on purpose. Her taking things from the house is the same thing, only difference is I have no legal stance to fall back on.

I agree, I want to start afresh, I don't want all this stuff we have together reminding me, hell I still love her and don't want this..but hey ho.
but it's taking the Michael that she can take stuff...and If I tried that I'd be out!
Frankly I'm thinking of upping and going rather than buying her out, would be much more simple.

Ah well!

thanks for your comments as always.

V.

Mojisola

Possible ideas -

Sit her down and talk to her about what she's taken. As you're both still living in the house, it's unfair for stuff to be removed yet. Ask her how she'd feel if you had taken a load of stuff. Hope she'll agree not to take anything more.

If she doesn't agree, start making a list of what has gone and when and probable value. As mentioned by mookiandco, before and after photos would help your case.

Horrible situation for you to be in - hope she sees sense.

floss2

Viper_7 wrote: »

.......and yes she'd take these when she moves out anyway - but that's 6 mths away at least......

Don't be too sure.....neither of you know what is around the corner.

BTW, were the items in question bought with joint monies, or "acquired" when you set up home together? Do you have 2 stereos and maybe she is ensuring that she has one? (as me & ex husband did) ....and yes, I was also the "victim" but as others have said, is it really worth quibbling about the smaller stuff, as it can only make you bitter.

Maybe you should start to divide things like CD's / DVD's / books up now & keep them separately, to avoid future problems.

debs66_2

hi viper, i think what you are saying is that you know you are getting divorced, and was prepared to play fair and do the thing amicably, but now feel as if she is changing the rules to suit.

when you sit and think about it, you seem not to care about the actual possessions she's cleared out, but the fact that she has taken them without prior consultation with you, and that if she can do this once, she will possibly do it again.

i suggest that you try and keep things amicable, because with the current state of the housing market you could have a while yet before you 'move on'. i would, however, take photos of everything in the house and keep the prints somewhere safe. you need proof of where you are now, and what you have now, at the point that you are seperating - bank funds/possessions etc. even put a daily newpaper in the shots for the photos.

if ever larger items are taken, you can then prove they were removed after you dissolved your relationship, and you can barter for recompense within the financial agreement of your divorce. although i would only bother with that if the amount was substantial. it's not worth sweating over a couple hundred pounds worth of CDs IMO.

you should also tell you solicitor that she has done this, for the record if nothing else.

having been througha divorce, and been the one who stayed in the house while it was being sold, i know i could not legally change the locks. while ever my ex-hubby was on the mortgage, he could come and go as he pleased - and he did.

good luck viper. try and keep calm and remember, two wrongs don't make a right. don't be tempted to be nasty, as taking the higher ground will do you more favours in the eyes of the law (hopefully!)

Wardy

This too happened to me - in the end cos I was buying my ex out of his share of the house I made a list of joint items taken, split the amount in half & deducted it off wot he was due from the house. He didn't like it but not much he could do. He'd taken stuff out of the house without my consent, and we're not just talking cds and stereo. When I say everything, I mean everything.

However, he did me a favour in the long run, I have all new stuff and annoyed him in the process!!!:rolleyes:

I did do this with a solicitor tho, so had some legal backup.

If it's minor stuff it really isn't worth it, but if it's everything - speak to your solicitor. At the end of the day, she will want her money from the house and if you keep delaying it because she won't agree on a deduction from her share of the payout, eventually she will give in. You have the upper hand in that respect.

Although it's nicer to keep things calm, sometimes you have to play as nasty as other people. It sounds like you could come to some sort of agreement - don't demand every single penny but make sure you get something. If you paid towards the items, you deserve some of the money from it.

Good luck

Pssst

Viper_7 wrote: »

I'm currently going through a divorce with my Wife.

It's in the very early stages in that we've not even got to the point of myself initiating the divorce legally but have both
enlisted solicitors and going through the initial strages

We are both still under the same roof and the home is in joint names.

I've come home tonight to find things have been removed. Books/CD/s Stereo etc etc
I know that her brother has come over and helped her, as she's been in the loft to get suitcases down!
Now surely this is illegal!! Can someone point me in the right direction/documents so I have some information before I speak to my solicitor?

Thanks,

Vipes

This is rediculous. Your going to speak to a solicitor and yet the woman still lives under the same roof? Why not save yourself the cost and incovenience and speak to the girl directly !!!!!! ? Remember this was once a woman that you were very close to so surely you can still communicate effectively without inflammatory and expensive letters from some solicitor?

hobo28

What she is doing is legal and so far doesn't seem too bad. Trust me there are many ppl here who got divorced and their ex acted way way worse.

You say things are amicable? In which case just make a list of stuff that is going to be yours/hers. Whats hers she can do with as she pleases.

Reading between the lines its the fact she's moving stuff out and the fact you don't want to lose her is what is upsetting you rather than the actual stuff itself. The cost of solicitors duking it out will quickly outweigh the costs of any small items. So pick your battles carefully.

Gforce_2

Viper_7 wrote: »

The thing is the items are not her's. they are ours.

Ok. what if I blow my savings on the horses?? That's MY Savings.,
You can count on the fact that I'd still have to pay her half of those "lost" savings as I'd be seen as disposing of them on purpose. Her taking things from the house is the same thing, only difference is I have no legal stance to fall back on.

I agree, I want to start afresh, I don't want all this stuff we have together reminding me, hell I still love her and don't want this..but hey ho.
but it's taking the Michael that she can take stuff...and If I tried that I'd be out!
Frankly I'm thinking of upping and going rather than buying her out, would be much more simple.

Ah well!

thanks for your comments as always.

V.

Sorry Viper I misunderstood you , when you said the items were her's I thought that you meant they were her's rather than our's.
If these are shared possessions then yes I agree she shouldn't just remove them without discussion.

Viper_7

Everything is shared - we are married.

I naievly put the house in joint names even though it was my deposit and I've pay every mortgage payment and bill. she naturally gets half the assets of the house even though it's "mine"
I just love it when she says they were "My CD's" etc.. ermm it's MY house but that doesn't matter does it!

thanks guys for the advice, she's stopped doing it now, and I have taken photos's just in case I do need back up.