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Christmas Has Been Cancelled!! Santa Claus Is Dead!!
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Of course Santa is dead, Our rottweiller attacked him last year cos' he thought he was nicking the 84 in widescreen and my 'ovver 'alf told the dog to do it. Arrr kidz nikked 'is belt though and got a few bob!! We 'ad a terrible time gettin' rid of 'is fat old body though. Put it next door with the 'auld woman who died abaht 5 weeks ago and they faht they woz togevver.
Sorted.0 -
Goodness, I didn't realise I could be so eloquent.0
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You do know that when the ice cream man plays his tune it means he has run out of ice cream?
Couldn't Santa run to an Annual and selection box for each kid? Dh still waxes lyrical about the 'Eagle Annual' he used to get each Christmas.
My cousin used to get lovely annuals about little woodland creatures who lived in trees. They showed a 'cut away' tree trunk that was kitted out like a little block of flats - I always wanted one of those.0 -
The Anti-Santa as been spotted
He comes down the chimney on the 25th Dec and steals all the kids’ favourite toys!:eek:
As stolen from red dwarf.0 -
There was a dyslexic MSE member on the Debt Free Wannabe board wanting to raise some extra cash, so they sold their soul to Santa.
(my apologies in advance to any dyslexic readers and no offence is meant)I am a Mortgage Consultant and don't like to be told what I can and can't put in a signature so long as it's legal and truthful.0 -
Santa outsourced his elf workshop to Vietnam and got a team of minimum wage gypsies from eastern Europe to do his deliveries. His reindeer were confiscated by the RSPCA and the sleighs were banned under Labour health and safety legislation. He got heavily into BTL and now owns most of Lapland's slum accommodation.
The magic's gone out of Christmas, really.'Never keep up with Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper.' Quentin Crisp0 -
Ian_Griffiths_Halifax wrote: »There was a dyslexic MSE member on the Debt Free Wannabe board wanting to raise some extra cash, so they sold their soul to Santa.
Bit like the agnostic dyselxic insommniac, who sat up all night wondering if there was a Dog....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »Bit like the agnostic dyselxic insommniac, who sat up all night wondering if there was a Dog.
Drinking whine;)0
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