Urgent Savings Advice needed - Please Help Me!!!!!!!!

napoleon

I'm sick with worry, I can't sleep at night, this banking crisis is doing my head in

I've got £5.67 in my savings account and I'm afraid that if the bank goes bust I'll lose the lot. If that happens I won't be able to buy a kebab and chips on Saturday nite.

Can someone reassure me that all my money is safe please?? I plead with you, some one please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RayWolfe

Sorry, I don't think I can reassure you. It's a very worrying time. You have only got £5.67 to worry about, I've got an overdraft of £7.93 which, if my bank goes bust I won't know who to repay ....
Oh the horror!

YorkshireBoy

RayWolfe wrote:

I've got an overdraft of £7.93 which, if my bank goes bust I won't know who to repay

Just send it to any old sort code/account number combination.

You'll know it's found a good home when someone posts on here..."I've had a credit of £7.93 made to my account. Can I spend it or do I have to give it back?"

Tom_Jones

The way food prices are going up you can't afford a Kebab and chips

amcluesent

>some one please help me!<

Console yourself in the certain knowledge that in the long run we are all dead.

Hungerdunger

Personally, I'd lessen the risk of losing it all by spreading around five or six different banks (assuming there are still that many in operation).

tradetime

napoleon wrote: »

I'm sick with worry, I can't sleep at night, this banking crisis is doing my head in

I've got £5.67 in my savings account and I'm afraid that if the bank goes bust I'll lose the lot. If that happens I won't be able to buy a kebab and chips on Saturday nite.

Can someone reassure me that all my money is safe please?? I plead with you, some one please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Borrow 30p and buy Gold, I heard it's gonna go through the roof.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gold-Best-Spandau-Ballet/dp/B00004UFTT/ref=sr_1_3/202-9554313-2932614?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1222803173&sr=8-3

KingL

You are protected up to a total of 35p per financial institution, so you should take up Hungerdunger's good advice and open another 16 accounts, so that you can be sure that you have full protection.

You might find that several of the new banks require you to send them proof of id, certified by a solicitor. Solicitors often charge £10 to provide such a service, so this will indirectly solve your problem of having unprotected savings.

HTH

ad44downey

napoleon wrote: »

I'm sick with worry, I can't sleep at night, this banking crisis is doing my head in

I've got £5.67 in my savings account and I'm afraid that if the bank goes bust I'll lose the lot. If that happens I won't be able to buy a kebab and chips on Saturday nite.

Can someone reassure me that all my money is safe please?? I plead with you, some one please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad luck old chap. I believe the FSA compensation scheme only kicks in when you have £10 in your account. So if the bank goes tits up you're well and truly fooked

ianmr65

napoleon wrote: »

I've got £5.67 in my savings account and I'm afraid that if the bank goes bust I'll lose the lot.

Arrange to loan it out as Residential Kebab-Backed Securities (RKBS) of 34p each, ie 16 tranches of donner loans, 1 of which will be ninja, 3 of which will be sub-prime, 2 just above prime, and the rest prime(shish)

Arrange to have all 16 tranches, rated, from AAA to junk bond. You would expect to get 1P per year in intrest on the prime, but 15P per year from the junk, on the understaning that the junk is much riskier.

When as you expected the returns on the junk (burger van kebab) fail to come in, instead of writing them off, and losing the kebab for ever:
Arrange to have those collaterellised in a new investment, with other similar loans call that a CDO. Rate that CDO AAA, and sell it on in another 16 tranches.
When the returns on that CDO again start to fail, and the final maturity value of the CDO is in doubt attempt to sell it, or use it as collateral against further loans. However keep the original final maturity value of the donner CDO on you books as an asset.
When other people stop lending you money, and demand you revalue your donner CDOs against what you could acutually get for them, say 0.001p each. Insits that the taxpayer bail you out. And that the donner CDOs must be worth a great deal more, so the goverment has to buy them.

When the polliTITians reject that approach arrange a run on kebab backed securities, and see what happens.

If you do all that you will have arranged your own mini credit (extra onions, and chilli sauce) crunch. And you'll be far smugger and happier.

Plasticman

napoleon wrote: »

I'm sick with worry, I can't sleep at night, this banking crisis is doing my head in

I've got £5.67 in my savings account and I'm afraid that if the bank goes bust I'll lose the lot. If that happens I won't be able to buy a kebab and chips on Saturday nite.

Can someone reassure me that all my money is safe please?? I plead with you, some one please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Withdraw the cash first thing in the morning. You will need it to buy a cardboard box after the bank repossess your house tomorrow afternoon.

See - nothing to worry about now.