Daughter has decided to quit college can I now close csa claim

I,M_SAD

It,s a tricky one,because children can be unpredictable too.They do make decisions about their life too.
Ds just 17 yrs old has also decided to not return to finish his AS levels.:mad:
I am not suprised really despite being bright,he has told me he does,nt want a life of study and no matter what I have said,pleaded,talked for hours,prospect of dead end job,etc he won,t budge.:o

I know for him more than my oldest dd he resented not receiving EMA due to my income.My dd worked part time all way through AS levels,ds does not have the same urge!!
I have never taken money off dd,in term breaks she used to earn as much as £150pw,:Tand most school weeks £70 pw.I appreciated she liked having her hair coloured a lot,every 6 weeks,clothes,shoes galore,out clubbing,most weekends,I want her to have a nice life,she has always studied very hard and I appreciated she needed an outlet and wanted to be well presented but she provided the "luxuries"herself:j.It was a case of I could not afford to but it was also a case of she liked being able to buy and do the things she wanted without always coming to me and me,being me would have dissected the situation.:rolleyes:She liked the indepenance of her own money.

However any books and it is a lot of money,study days,equipment for study,travelling,dinner money,and the usual homey things,food,home,lifts,holidays I never expected any contribution,I have always considered that my responsibility but I could not afford to support the" lifestyle" of an 18 yr old dd.There does have to be a cut off for EMA it appears and I am just over the threshold.:rolleyes:But the kids are very clued up on their friends parents who scam the system but it does happen in all areas of life.How they do it I do not know but believe me it is my children,s friends with the biggest houses,cars,lifestyles who receive the full EMA,I think it does annoy the kids of people like me who work a lot,single,neither here or there with iincome but we are considered too well off,they see their friends driving their own cars,allowances,even petrol allowances but receive £30 pw EMA.:eek:

I could not have paid my children £120 pm each per month to study because I was supporting them through education,plus I have always done nice bedrooms,sleep overs,well kids here night and day after a night out,bedrooms always well kitted out,computers,tv,s,a nice home,somewhere they can bring friends back although when they get older somewhere where I get up in mane on a weekend if I,m not working and me and ds,3 yrs,just count the number of shoes in the hallway,as a rough guess how many people are upstairs,with 2 teenagers,that,s a lot of friends and shoes!!It,s a lot of bacon sarnies too!!:rotfl:

I have never received maintenance for my 2 oldest children,so none of my decisions on education,my pushing the kids was NEVER based on EMA, or financial gain,I genuinely believe in education as the key to life but for some children that life may not be the answer to their dreams,formal education has changed for me lately after talking a lot to my ds,17,I do think he has a lot to learn but he is also aware of his personality too and he has been adamnant he does not want the stress of a pressurised environment and his life revolving around money,perceived success and formal study .My ds is social,articulate,happy,if I have a mad moment of control and deny a lift somewhere,he just says ok,I think great he is getting it,and 2 minutes later he is saying bye and walking the mileage to get to where he wants,no fuss bar my side,:ohe will make a life in a different way to my preconceptions of life.:rolleyes:I am just saying don,t panic at lack of formal education with your children,sometimes us single parents overdo the guilt trip,want to prove to the "outside"world of the 2 parent household,we also love our kids but we are all flawed in reality as all of us,lone,single,2 parents,step parents,absent parents,but if you are doing the best you can,then don,t sweat the small stuff and it,s also about changing and listening and really listening to your kids,not just hoping they will do what you want to do to make you feel better.:j
Talk to your daughter,maybe she is not saying what you want to hear because you are adamnant you have been a good parent,paid the maintenance,irked ex is living witth a "loser" in your eyes,and spending maintenance on bingo.Is she really doing that or do you perceive she is doing that,hence no further eduaction for your dd,maybe she is at bingo but it,s not the issue,the issue is your dd,paying maintenance does,nt bring you a perfect child on contact,it supports them financially,but it does not pay for the emotional support a child needs,we all need,and if she does not want to move in with you,leave friends then don,t take it personally.:rolleyes: Maybe despite my first ex he would be bowled over at me sailing round the world,being a climber up the himalayas but it,s never going to happen,plus their is that old responsibility of we all have dreams,we all want to be fantastic,truth is I have to be here for nursery,for his children and washing the clothes,not mind blowing but very tedious when you have worked all week and have one day to do the tasks.but it is my responsibility:D,I will do it,but do wonder sometimes where the nrp gets off on disputing csa,pwc overdo the guilt trip,and nrp want every movement of pwc decisions tracked,when in reality the kids have made thier own decisions too but will always neutralise the situation to some parents,because that is what we need to hear.;)

jacklink

so the mother is even unwilling to pay £30 a week for her child? how much a week have you been paying ?

report her to the benefit squad , you can do it online