rent for a family lodger?!

retrocircles

brother-in-law is moving in at the weekend as mother-in-law is moving away at the beginning of october to be with love interest. handy as we need the money, we've kindly agreed to charge the same as the 'board' he was paying his mum - £240 a month.

is this a fair amount? we live in a 3 bed semi. not really sure what to judge it on! if we went 3 ways on the bills split equally he would be paying much more. what would you say that this £240 should include? rent & bills? or rent, bills & food? i initially thought to include food, but then realised he could eat £100 a month in food, leaving only £140 for rent/bills etc! would it be wrong to ask him to buy his own food?

i'm finding this hard after living with just hubby for 5 years... someone living with me that i can't tell off! :rotfl:

any help, tips & words of wisdom would be appreciated.

meester

retrocircles wrote: »

brother-in-law is moving in at the weekend as mother-in-law is moving away at the beginning of october to be with love interest. handy as we need the money, we've kindly agreed to charge the same as the 'board' he was paying his mum - £240 a month.

is this a fair amount? we live in a 3 bed semi. not really sure what to judge it on! if we went 3 ways on the bills split equally he would be paying much more. what would you say that this £240 should include? rent & bills? or rent, bills & food? i initially thought to include food, but then realised he could eat £100 a month in food, leaving only £140 for rent/bills etc! would it be wrong to ask him to buy his own food?

i'm finding this hard after living with just hubby for 5 years... someone living with me that i can't tell off! :rotfl:

any help, tips & words of wisdom would be appreciated.

Depends where your semi is.

Have a look in local newspaper for going rate for room, or try easyroommate e.g. http://uk.easyroommate.com/Newcastle-flatshare/listings/l

Most of the time you'd include rent, council tax, electric, gas, but not phone or food.

Smashing

Why would it be wrong to ask him to pay for his own food? He's getting a room for far less than the going rate. I would also expect him to pay for his share of the phone bill and help out around the house.

Ground rules need to be decided from the start. Can he invite people around? Can they stay over? How much notice needs to be given by either party? etc.

Rabiddog_2

First thing to Do is tell your Husband about this arrangement.?

lil_me

If the agreement has been made of the same as what he's paying now then what is he getting in return living with your mother in law. I think it'd be a little offhand to ask for additional after an agreement is made. Asking them not to use the house phone would reduce issues with phone bills. I'm guessing someone who's working won't add too much extra onto gas/electric costs - an extra washer load, showers and electricity in their room. It's your home, you can charge him what you like, but when an agreement is made, if it was me I'd want to stick to it.

Sonofa

lil_me wrote: »

If the agreement has been made of the same as what he's paying now then what is he getting in return living with your mother in law. I think it'd be a little offhand to ask for additional after an agreement is made. Asking them not to use the house phone would reduce issues with phone bills. I'm guessing someone who's working won't add too much extra onto gas/electric costs - an extra washer load, showers and electricity in their room. It's your home, you can charge him what you like, but when an agreement is made, if it was me I'd want to stick to it.

As I understand it he has been living with his mum. Do you honestly think is it fair to make a like for like comparison?

I'm quite sure he has been getting far more than the going rate from mum.

It seems unfair to me that the S-in-L/OP should be expected to live up to those expectations for £240/month.

£240/month sounds fine for his room and utilities. Anything else should be extra.

A lot really boils down to what he's like, if mum has done everything for him bar wiping his **** and this is what he's expecting for his £240/month then it's time for a wake-up call and I'd be more inclined to be very strict. If he is pretty much self sufficient and okay to get on with then you have room for compromise.

Regardless of all of the above, are you sure you are going to be okay having your brother in law moving into the home you and your husband have shared alone for the last five years?

poppysarah

Who says you can't tell him off?
EDIT: But don't turn into a mum replacement unless you want him there forever.

If he does stuff that your OH doesn't do then tell him. You don't have to be nasty - just point things out nicely.

It'll be horrendously stressful to start with - sharing your space is horrid if you're not used to it.

mlz1413

My first thought is you don't have an end date, is this forever or until he wants to move out or until his Mum lets him move in with her again?

£240 sounds fine for room and bills, exc. phone but he should either be contributing to your shopping bill or buying his own food and cooking/washing up for himself. This will mean giving him cupboard and fridge/freezer space of his own.

As we don't know his age and routine (ie working at college) and what he can do compared to needs to be able to do (can he cook?) its hard to give advise. If B-I-L has never fended for himself then I would ask him if he would rather pay more or if he is happy to learn the new skills.

But as he is your OH brother I would maybe voice your concerns to OH and ask him to set some ground rules with brother - the bathroom is normally a major problem of sharing with someone. Also speak to OH about tackling issues just to ensure you are both expecting the same things and you two don't end up rowing over brother.

Otherwise luckily you, extra needed money from someone you know. Saves having a stranger in the house who may have come from a totally different up-bringing!

*Louise*

I think it's a reasonable amount to ask for a room, but I wouldn't include food in that. (He could have a massive appetite and easily use half that amount in a month lol)

and who says you won't be able to tell him off? :rotfl: Your home, your rules. For example if he as to leave mess lying around and stuff, you're perfectly entitled to 'tell him off' as long as it's done in a reasonable way.

Also - if this isn't to be a permaent arrangement, I would discuss a date where he has to get his own place so you all know where you stand. (Depends on what age he is though, are we talking young or middle aged?)

Chris2685

Make it so it is not too cushy for him, but don't cause a family feud over it. If you make it too cushy, he will want to stay forever!