everything will implode now........

reetyre

Oh you poor thing - my heart goes out to you and sending lots of hugs your way.
Sorry I am not in a place to give you any advice re debt but there are lots of lovely people on here who can.
Re your suspension, was it a legitimate mistake, something that can be definitely judged a suspendable offence? Are you in a Union?
Will be thinking of you and OH re results tomorrow
xx

LoulaBelle

Your not beaten and you will find the strength to carry on. Maybe you need to go to the docs and talk to him/her about it or try some of those herbal 'kalms' just for a while, being in the job your in I don't know if taking 'happy pills' is okay.

Anyway post your SOA and we'll see what we can make of it - any cutbacks that can be made etc. Also check out if you can get any benefits regarding looking after your mum etc. Do you have long left on your mortgage - maybe you could change the term and reduce the payments - I'm not an expert on this but just want to say that there are always options. And like Newlywed said your DMP is not set in stone - explain the situation to them and hopefully they can help.

Hope results come back okay

LoulaBelle

hypno06

I suspect that the fact you are in "limbo" today and for the last few days is causing a bigger stress than actually knowing where you are and what you are doing once you get the results. What I mean is that once you get the results tomorrow, good or bad, you can look at the whole situation and make moves forward.

If it is something that is easily treatable, you can get details of how long it will take, etc, and then you can work out when a full time salary is more likely to return, and you can re-do your DMP accordingly.

If it is not so good news, you can again find info out from the hospital, then you can put your case to your own work for the fact that you have been under pressure hence the mistake that otherwise would not have happened, and you can also go to CCCS again with a "definite situation" rather than a "what if" one and re-do your dmp to take that element of the pressure off you.

Sometimes the "not knowing" is the most difficult bit, and once you know the diagnosis you can start getting sorted. Whatever happens it won't be easy, but you can and you will get through.......together.

Do not underestimate the amount of energy YOU will need, though. Sleep, proper food, fresh air, and someone to listen to you when you need to cry/rant/scream with frustration are all high priorities for you - do not let them pass you by as they will help you greatly.

Good luck x

beanielou

Sorry to hear that things are so tough at the moment.
Take care

sunshine38_2

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. Some good ideas on here already for you. The only other thing I can think of is Bach's Rescue Remedy - that was a big help for me when I was going through a particularly traumatic and emotional time. You can get through this (although right now it feels like you wont).

I hope the results come back ok too. Will be thinking of you.

Take care

Sx

Rummer

Hello Learntthehardway

I just wanted to show my support and to check that you are ok today.

brokenheartedangel

i have just read your story and whilst I cannot help in any way, i just wanted to tell you I am thinking of you xxx

I can see there is a lot of help and support here and I do hope you can take advantage of what is being said

take care of you too hun and I wish you all the best xxx

bandraoi

On a purely practical level, look at the insurance policies you have taken out with your mortgage. There may be an element of serious illness cover in there.

learntthehardway_2

Thanks for all your replies to my terrible situation, firstly the news on my OH, was good;) "traumatic ulcer" has to have back teeth taken out (no big deal !) ulcer would not heal due to his medication (acidic mouth) and his immune system shot......we both fell into each others arms outside hospital (so relieved not cancer).Just hugged each other for ages..(cant kiss me cause of stitches...lol) good god I'm laughing !:rotfl:
Had phone- call yesterday he has appointment for his back to see consultant...so next problem to sort out.
Got letter this morning.....I will be interviewed over my suspension this Friday......(people asked if i was in a union....no).....went to see a lawyer, yesterday afternoon (free half hour)...helped me a lot but cant represent me at initial interview..... but I felt a whole lot better after seeing him....and it was free !!...I have sat at my computer and typed notes for my defence.....
After lawyer went to see my Doctor........poor man all I did was cry, but kept saying actually been one of the best days of my life (OH no cancer)...he could not believe I'd been suspended, loads of support off him and going to write letter for me to hand over at Interview about amount of stress I've been under........wanted to sign me off work......but I'd rather deal with this suspension than have it hanging over me, he gave me prescription for two weeks sleeping tablets to help me .....
Phoned Halifax made appointment if they can give me payment holiday on my mortgage (never missed payment) give me a breathing space, also phoned up Scottish Widows who I pay a policy to (was for son at 18) but needs must ........I've done all these things in case I'm immediatly dismissed.
You people on here made me do this.......the motivation to move myself.....no one else can help me......reading your replies helped me tremendously...........:beer: big hugs to you all.........I'm not out the woods yet......but I can see a light.......the other day deep despair .....now feeling......someone touched me, help me feel I WAS NOT ALONE and it was you people on here......... I'll let you know outcome of my suspension and how things turned out.............:T thank you so much all those that replied to my post. xxx

Rummer

I am so happy for you that things are starting to fall into place, what a relief that your OH is going to be ok. Well done for facing things head on and keeping it together for your family. Please let us know how you are getting on as you have been in our thoughts. Take care.