looking after nephew for money

shirlgirl2004

I found this with regard to whether you need tobe registered.

"If the care is in the other person's home and you are paying them, they may have to register as a childminder if they are looking after under 8s. Check with your local authority. "

It came from here http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/asp/family_zone/fs_cc1_childcare.asp

So as it says "may" there is either discretion or it depends on the local authority rules.

KellyWelly

I have a rule when other children come into my home that they follow my rules and join in with what we are doing/eating etc regardless of what their parents normally say/do/feed them.

Personally if I was going to be looking after my nephew (haven't got one yet!) I would tell my sibling and their partner from the start that it was going to be my way and my rules in my house.

That being said, I am sure that we would come to an understanding and a compromise - I wouldn't act outrageously and do things I know would upset them and cause trouble and I would respect their (reasonable!) wishes.

Good luck, I haven't had to deal with this myself, (other than being the fussy first time parent who wanted things done in a particular way!) and I think it would be a difficult position to be in without a lot of discussion before hand.

sarymclary

How old is the nephew? I suspect he may be quite young, as the parents are so concerned about doing things for him a certain way. I recall being worried that if certain foods weren't prepared a particular way, or he wasn't soothed to sleep how I did things, that he'd be more distressed at me having left him. Of course they were more my own anxieties, and children do tend to adapt to other people's care.

I looked after my neice and nephew from ages 2 & 6 weeks, until they were both in school, and I then did before/after school. I never took a penny in payment from my sister. She provided a packed lunch for them in later years, but that was because by that time we were really, really tight moneywise, and I think she finally realised that I'd been feeding 2 extra mouths for all those years!

I did it because I loved my sister, and knew that she needed to work to make ends meet. Altho' we weren't well off by any means, my DH and I made the decision to have me as a SAHM if we had more than 1 child, so that's what we did.

I did resent my neice and nephew sometimes when I got really tired, especially as they weren't as independent as my own children, who were 1 & 6 months when I started the care. I also felt annoyed when I discovered my BiL was often home before 3pm, but never came to collect the children until 6pm! I eventually gave it up when I was pregnant with my 3rd child, and the children were all in school, and an after school club was set up by then, so they were able to go there.

I would check with your local authority to make sure you do everthing above board.

I do have a good relationship with my neice and nephew now, and feel I have a better understanding of their personalities than other family members. I went to a concert with my 18y/o neice last week, as well as taking both of them to one earlier in the year, and my nephew said a few weeks back that he tells me things he never talks about to his parents, which I felt really proud of.

I think you have to realise the children do not choose to come to you, and that it is a privilege to have any involvement in the upbringing of anyone's child. I saw my nephew's first steps, gave him his first solids, potty trained him, I attended all their assemblies & nativities @ school, etc., and all the while I knew my sister would have much rather been there, but couldn't be.

mishmash

I agree with the poster who said "in my house, these are my rules". I had my niece and nephew stay with me for a long period of time when they were little. Their parenting had been very different to my kids. I agreed to care for them on the basis that I would care for them as I did my own kids.This meant telling them off for the same things, they had to eat the same things (not in a cruel way but I made sure mine had a healthy diet, they had Mac Donalds most nights) and if I disciplined them with an early night or whatever I was supported. My sil was a bit unhappy, but my brother agreed. It worked really well, I honestly loved the kids like they were mine, its 10 years on now since I had them and we still have a great bond My nephew often says he wants to go to Uni near me so he can live with me again) .Be clear, I will care for him with the same love I do my own, they can take it or leave it. Good Luck

Savvy_Sue

I've always understood that if you receive money to care for a child in YOUR home then you need to register as a childminder. If you go to THEIR home, you don't.

I know there was an issue a few years back that if grandparents registered as childminders, the parents could only claim the childcare element of tax credits if the grandparents were caring for children other than their own grandchildren. It was always presented as grandchildren but it wouldn't surprise me if it covered all family members.

The definitive site for regulations is likely to be Ofsted. The NCMA may also be useful, especially in terms of drawing up an agreement. Personally, I would want an agreement ...

Threebabes

IF you are good enough to mind your nephew no doubt saving your sibling & partner money, I would say its your rules or you wont mind him.

SuziQ

As previous posters have said,whether a relative or not,if your recieve cash then you DO need to be registered and there are insurance implications too. We went through all this when my mum gave up a well paid job to look after my sisters children,and it was pretty complicated and long term led to quite a lot of grief too (disagreements about care/routine and resentment when my mum decided to stop as it wasn't worth the hassle!)

paddy's_mum

My advice? ... don't do it! You've already said that you didn't want to do it, your ways aren't their ways, and it's only one day a week.

You are going to end up feeling very resentful, and put upon by your better half, and all for the sake of about £30 a week. If your better half is so keen on the idea, let him arrange to have the child all day Saturday so that he is the one helping "family" for a pittance.

You, on the other hand, can find some little job for a very few hours a week and still bring home the extra £30 that your better half thinks is so worthwhile. Do you know what - I'd bet money that your other half will back pedal on wishing to earn a few pounds by being lumbered with a crying baby all day long!

Rachie_B

If you look after him in HIS home then you wont need to be registered

this would be better for him anyway ,as its his home environment,own cot / toys / routine etc

good luck if you do decide to do it

x

Hardup_Hester

I used to be a registered childminder & I always explained that I would offer the same care I used with my own children, as a previous poster said, my house, my rules.