What do I do?

Sarahsaver

Didnt put the nature of my dilemma in the title because I am hesitant enough about posting as it is. My son is suicidal. He is 5 and a half. Where the hell do I go to get help? I am probably going to delete this soon I just needed to get it off my chest. He is actually attempting to do things which endanger his life.
I kind of hope none of you know what to do because I hope you have not been in the same situation, it makes me feel so helpless and its crap to hear 'i'm going to kill myself' coming out of the mouth of one of your babies. And he is VERY serious, I know kids mess around but he means it.
I self-referred to the child psychology service already, that is largely support in terms of having someone at the end of the phone to talk to. I think I maybe need to stop working and spend more time with him as he is feeling so insecure.
This sucks.

wigginsmum

I'm so sorry - I don't know what to suggest really, but I'll ask my friend who is very clued-up on the UK support system.

Just one thought - does he eat food with a lot of additives or bright colours? Could it be a food intolerance? Alternatively it could be a cry for more time with his Mum; it's difficult to know.

Hugs,
Jules

Sarahsaver

I am very careful not to give him processed food because of athsma and eczema. thanks for your help.

Magentasue

If you can't put your finger on anything at home that is making him so unhappy, is there something at school? I'd talk to class teacher ASAP and also try to find a lunchtime supervisor (they're often parents) to ask about what he does at lunchtime as that's when most bullying takes place (IMO).

scotslass_3

Hi, well you have taken the brave step of typing it out, and saying what is happening. Firstly try to keep calm. I do not know you or any of your family/ personal issues, but from a general point of view try to keep from panicking.
My son, now 15, used to scream that he was going to kill himself etc. when he was small about this age, and be caught in a violent rage/ temper with me usually. I had taken the keys out of the windows upstairs, and the cords out of the dressing gowns, so believe me I know what this fear is like. My son didn't harm himself beyond banging his head in frustration against a wall, while crying and shouting as before... very distressing as you can imagine!
Firsly go and see your GP, or Health Visitor for support, discuss the issues and ask for help. Perhaps an assessment from a child development psychologist, and medical evaluation, will help, and reassure you too. Obviously there may be issues that are distressing your son and these must be discovered and confronted, in order to move forward. It may be no more than the rages of "I hate you!" that children go through, and realise the worst thing they can say to upset you. Seek help, and through counselling you will find your answer. My son is fine now, it was anger and frustration with all the strong feelings, and we talked them all out, and he is now a lovely, happy teenager. I know there is a feeeling of the stigma/fear of mental or emotional illness, but the sooner you get help the safer/ happier you will feel. Be brave, and good luck

Sarahsaver

i'm bracing myself to phone the psychologist, just that i know theres a whole huge can of worms ready to be opened up and its scary.

Spendless

Sarah-Is it more than the "I wish I was dead" "I want to die". I ask because I'm aware my own son is the same age as yours, practically to the day and he's been saying things like this recently.

In my case I'm well aware he has no idea what it really means and it's normally a phrase he comes out with after he's been told off.

scotslass_3

Well.... again only you know what you have to deal with,but the main issue is to make him feel loved and safe no matter what. I always used to say "I love you no matter what, even if I dont like the things you do, I'll always love you". While he was raging at me and screaming that he hated me, I just said" thats ok I love you enough for both of us". Feelings are so strong and intense when you're young, and "feel" black and white. I told my son "I understand you feel like this and its awful isn't it, let's see what we can do to work through this awful feeling, and feel better". I remember the awful fear though of something wrong with them

Sarahsaver

trouble is my son knows what death is for real, and also there are several people he has 'lost' although they are not dead and he does I suppose feel betrayed and let down very badly by many things. I've got to get off here and do something because he was in real danger this morning, I should tell the school and also try and put my rational head on and think of a plan.

lush_walrus

Oh you poor thing, I have absolutely no advice as I haven't been in the situation, or a mother so I really cant help other than to say I hope it all works out for you.