Simplifying Life - Mark II

7_week_wonder

wmf wrote: »

Niftythrifty - maybe you could read some books on Mindfulness - one being in the present moment and learning to accept that you are not responsible for the lives of other people. This might help you to take a step back in your present work and to guide and aid without giving too much of yourself. I also work with people, in a different field to you, and need to remind myself when to step back or when to wear an invisible cloak to shield me from toxic personalities etc. Sounds a bit airy fairy to some perhaps but it is helpful. I'm at the stage at the moment where I need to heed my own advice though but I have a few days' holiday and have slowed right down and am nurturing myself.

Enjoy simplifying folks. It makes life so much simpler

Excuse me coming out from lurkdom but wmf - I may be confusing you with somebody else: but was it you who recommended the mindfulness courses in Edinburgh? If so could you remind me who ran them etc. Also if you've got any recommendations for good mindfulness books I'd love to get the titles.

My simplifying moment of today was gathering a load of wild garlic from beside the pond at work which is going to go into a yummy risotto this evening:)

dreaming

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

I've noticed i've been doing that cramming thing more and more, especially as we're working on the house at the moment and my bit is decorating. The house needs a full overhaul, a lick of paint won't do as it's not ben touched since the 70s/80s. It's all new wallpaper, plastering, skirting boards, door stripping etc etc. it's been going on years.

The trouble is I'm begrudging spending much time with people anymore. For example, hubby is going to see MIL on Sunday and I don't want to go and sit there all afternoon and watch the GP with them. I want to be in the garden. She's a nice lady and she does lunch, but that whole family live in each other's pockets and it's suffocating. I find i just want my weekend's to myself to recover from the week and try and advance the progress in the house. That way one day we can move somewhere smaller, but it won't happen until the house is done.

I know exactly what you mean. I have a group of friends who meet every Saturday night. It's only for food (often takeaway or someone will do some chilli or something) and a few drinks and natter but if I don't go then someone will ring and see if I am ill as "it's Saturday - you can't stay in on a Saturday". But by the time I have worked all week (and I often work 9-10hours a day), rushed round shopping, then catching up on housework etc. the last thing I often want to do is sit for 3 or 4 hours talking - I often just want to read, or listen to music. I'm sure I will enjoy it much more when I have more time.
I have also just found further benefits to stopping work. I have had this week off and today met up with my daughter for lunch. Not only was it 2 for 1 (Mon to Fri) so cheap but I don't always see too much of her as she is a nurse and often works weekends and evenings so come September it will be so much easier. And I will be able to pick my grandchildren up from school sometimes.
By the way thanks to everyone recommending books - I am making a list of those I fancy and have already downloaded The Summer Book onto my Kindle.

[Deleted User]

dreaming wrote: »

I am excited now but when we were first told they were considering relocating (about 18months ago now) I was terrified. I had to start over again when I was 44 (in 1999) following divorce and had only had part-time jobs since having family in 1979 till then. Initially moved into small terraced house with daughter and did that up. Then 3 years ago moved to my lovely bungalow (I love bungalows) but stretched to buy it so when we were told what was happening it was :eek:. But when I calmed down and saw the severance package I realised it could work in my favour so I set to and made sure I got work done on house and tried to cut all outgoings as much as possible, and overpaid on mortgage. I have just had solar panels fitted to reduce bills in future and have thoroughly overhauled all my insurances etc. (yesterday I reduced my Virgin TV package). Fortunately I have very simple pleasures - cooking for family and friends/gardening/reading/walking/studying (I got an OU degree 5 years ago) - and now I can see that I am finally going to have time to enjoy those things instead of cramming everything into weekends, and to shop around to save more money.
It's bitter-sweet though as some of my colleagues who I have worked with for some years have young families and I feel desperately sorry for them.

Just wanted to say all the very best dreaming, it sounds as if you've had your share of problems in the past and have worked hard - its now your time and a simple life is the way to go. Good luck and enjoy!

Cottage_Economy

Dreaming - i just could not do that every Saturday night. I am dragged out once in a blue moon and i can't wait to get back indoors. Then I'm upstairs with a book snuggled up in bed with my feet being warmed up by a hot water bottle.

I find anything that involves routine or expectation very difficult as for the last few years I've tended to live by what my energy levels dictate at that time. I don't sleep very well and start work quite early so I can tire quickly.

Last night i found I had a bit more energy than i normally would after work on a Friday so on the spur of the moment I popped to the supermarket and bought everything i would need to do some batch cooking. There are now 6 extra meals in the freezer so when we come in too tired to cook we don't resort to a takeaway. I've wanted to do that for the last 10 days but have just been so brain weary and lacking in energy i haven't been able to.

Cheapskate

Morning everyone

Not posted in a while, life has been too hectic, but easing off now. I gave up my main job a couple of months ago, now just have my very part time weekend job and things are very slowly starting to gel.

My main problem is that my days seem to be chopped up by so many things - school/playschool runs, helping my mum (memory problems and getting older), doing little jobs for DH's business, dropping off/collecting DS to/from work......I seldom have a full day where I can start to streamline life! :rotfl:

I've set myself small, daily goals that I usually manage, some days better than others, with the aim that by DH's 50th in summer we are most of the way there, re the state of the house (and my head! ), simplifying our affairs, etc.

I'm glad to read of all your lives, it's inspiring in so many ways, and makes me realise that goals don't have to be these unrealistic ones that you never reach - the little things really do matter and make life simpler in so many ways - long may we all continue! :j

A xo

dreaming

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

Dreaming - i just could not do that every Saturday night. I am dragged out once in a blue moon and i can't wait to get back indoors.

I think it got to be a habit as living alone it can be too easy to slip into never going out or seeing people. I am the only one amongst this group who is divorced/single, and to be fair I know of some divorced people who are "dropped" from circles of partnered friends so it's nice that that hasn't happened. Living alone does make it easier to simplify things in some ways, but it does have its own challenges.

Anyway, I am going to get my storage finally finished today. The only disadvantage of my bungalow is the lack of storage places In my old house I had the cupboard under the stairs to hide stuff, as well as an airing cupboard on the landing. Despite getting rid of so much stuff in the last couple of years there are a few things that don't have "a place"and keep getting moved around and I hate clutter. Off to Dunelm Mill I go.

pumpkinlife

Cheapskate wrote: »

Morning everyone

Not posted in a while, life has been too hectic, but easing off now. I gave up my main job a couple of months ago, now just have my very part time weekend job and things are very slowly starting to gel.

My main problem is that my days seem to be chopped up by so many things - school/playschool runs, helping my mum (memory problems and getting older), doing little jobs for DH's business, dropping off/collecting DS to/from work......I seldom have a full day where I can start to streamline life! :rotfl:

I've set myself small, daily goals that I usually manage, some days better than others, with the aim that by DH's 50th in summer we are most of the way there, re the state of the house (and my head! ), simplifying our affairs, etc.

I'm glad to read of all your lives, it's inspiring in so many ways, and makes me realise that goals don't have to be these unrealistic ones that you never reach - the little things really do matter and make life simpler in so many ways - long may we all continue! :j

A xo

I am a longtime lurker who has just caught up on the last 20 odd pages. This was one of my favourite threads, though I wish it had been a little more popular I suppose us lurkers didn't help with that !)

I just wanted to say that it sounds like we have similar circumstances at the moment, with lots of small but diverse responsibilities that stack up and scatter our energy. I found it helpful to take a few minutes every evening to just sit and think about what I wanted and how it might be possible to get there. I wrote down a few ideas a couple of times a week and looking back quite a few of them have come true :j, though life is far from as simple as I would like, it is more meaningful these days.

Just a thought that might help.

Rowan9

7_week_wonder wrote: »

Excuse me coming out from lurkdom but wmf - I may be confusing you with somebody else: but was it you who recommended the mindfulness courses in Edinburgh? If so could you remind me who ran them etc. Also if you've got any recommendations for good mindfulness books I'd love to get the titles.

My simplifying moment of today was gathering a load of wild garlic from beside the pond at work which is going to go into a yummy risotto this evening:)

Hello:)
Yes - hhmm mindfulness courses now...
Well there is a very good luch time group at St Marks Church on a Tuesday lunchtime. It involves sitting meditation and also walking meditation, followed by a group lunch (bring your own and tea etc provided for a donation). It is a very peaceful welcoming group. I believe they also meet on a Thurs evening but I haven't been to that.
http://www.ukunitarians.org.uk/edinburgh/mindfulness.htm

This is a lovely read and sounds a wonderful group:
http://edwildgeese.wordpress.com/

There are several other if you Google.

Also, there are groups listed in Meet Ups in Edinburgh. I haven't gone to any (yet!).

Book-wise:
Eckhart Tolle - anything by him - I've read The Power of Now (you can order through Ed library catalogue) and and am reading Stillness Speaks (also Ed library).
Thich Nhat Hanh - his writing was probably the first I read about Mindfulness - very good and grounding.
Sharon Salzberg - easy to read - I have Lovingkindness and also Faith

I subsribe to the Daily Dharma and that kind of sets me up with something to think about, or try to, for the day.
http://www.tricycle.com/daily+dharma

Give me a shout if you want any more info:)

For those reading/ planning to read Tove Jannsen - she also has The Winter Book. I got it from DD this Christmas but haven't read it yet. Will wait now until winter.

Enjoying reading your posts, all.
Best wishes for simplifying.
W

RevolvingDoor

This is a nice thread,:A I have bookmarked some of the blogs mentioned.

I am trying to be more frugal and save money, overpay the mortgage and spend less. I'm also decluttering "stuff" that I don't use so someone else can enjoy it.:)

I started line-drying my washing as the weather has improved and it's a relief not to hear the droning of the tumble dryer all day.

7_week_wonder

Oh thank you so much wmf - some fantastic recommendations and links there. I've pasted all the info into a word document for thorough investigation later.

And by strange co-incidence I nipped into the central library and re-activated my Edinburgh City library card today (it had apparently lapsed after a couple of years of non-use). So my resolution for the next wee while is to get back into the habit of using the library and reading more.

Have a good evening all.