my brother is trying to resit the year.

The_One_Who

It's not that I have no sympathy. I suffer from clinical depression and would not wait until after the exams to tell someone if I was struggling. I went straight to my tutor and told him what was going on. Yes, it was embarrassing and I didn't really want to admit that I was struggling but he understood and was glad I'd told him before the exams.

I was 18 when I first went to see him. I didn't know all the ins and outs of university procedures but I knew where to go to get help.

bestpud

Hmm, one minute he had no money for a bus which he very likely did not need, then he 'screwed up' because he was just 18 and had no idea what the uni policies were...

Also, he had clinical depression, was homesick, and his finances were messed up by the LEA.

Seems he had a lot going on! But he felt no need to inform the uni of this, or look up the policies for such cases - he simply stopped going.

Now, he feels they should bend over backwards to take him back...

If his emails and phone calls are half as vague and, frankly, questionable as this thread then goodness only knows how they can judge his ability to complete the course!

I suggested he review what he has told tutors as he may not be helping himself - good advice imo, but there you go!

xcat_girlx

my_two_cents wrote: »

For want of sounding like a broken record, the LEA/SLC messed his finances up and have now agreed to pay him what they should have paid last year and he had some element of clinical depression.

all i can say is SNAP!!

it sounds like your brother was in a situation very similar to mine

and as for the person who said we shouldnt have "done our own thing", i'd like to know what you would do 200 miles from home with no money & no food. i was in self catered halls therefore had no choice and my parents wouldnt help financially as i'd chosen to move away.

when you are in a situation like that, some elements of clinical depression do kick in.

im not sure about your brother, but i know my situation was made far far worse by constant phone calls from tutors HOUNDING me about why i wouldnt go to lectures. i was getting these phone calls 4 or 5 times a day and in the end i suffered panic attacks.

tutors need to be more sensitive to these issues. i hope your brother gets the response he is hoping for from the teaching staff at his university.

xcat_girlx

bestpud wrote: »

Hmm, one minute he had no money for a bus which he very likely did not need, then he 'screwed up' because he was just 18 and had no idea what the uni policies were...

Also, he had clinical depression, was homesick, and his finances were messed up by the LEA.

Seems he had a lot going on! But he felt no need to inform the uni of this, or look up the policies for such cases - he simply stopped going.

Now, he feels they should bend over backwards to take him back...

If his emails and phone calls are half as vague and, frankly, questionable as this thread then goodness only knows how they can judge his ability to complete the course!

I suggested he review what he has told tutors as he may not be helping himself - good advice imo, but there you go!

have you ever been in a situation like this? if not, please dont be so judgemental.

bestpud

xcat_girlx wrote: »

have you ever been in a situation like this? if not, please dont be so judgemental.

Yes, I have been in an awful state twice during my course - first time I got through it with help and the second I ended up deferring.

The circumstances were outside of my control and tipped me over the edge, so to speak, but I sought help and, most of all, kept in touch with tutors. I am still seeing a counsellor now and I am diagnosed with recurrent major depression and anxiety - which I have had pretty much all my adult life.

Am I somehow more qualified to comment now?

xcat_girlx

bestpud wrote: »

Yes, I have been in an awful state twice during my course - first time I got through it with help and the second I ended up deferring.

The circumstances were outside of my control and tipped me over the edge, so to speak, but I sought help and, most of all, kept in touch with tutors. I am still seeing a counsellor now and I am diagnosed with recurrent major depression and anxiety - which I have had pretty much all my adult life.

Am I somehow more qualified to comment now?

i apologise. your post just sounded like you were judging something you didnt understand.

you were probably lucky in that you had sympathetic tutors. can i ask when you went to uni and was it a popular course? i found that doing a common subject at a big uni meant the tutors had very little time for students and werent really very much help.

bestpud

I have a very good personal tutor, yes, and he has helped an awful lot. However, I had already started a mit circs claim before I told him I was having problems.

But tbh, the student counsellor has been the biggest help to me - I know I wouldn't have stuck it out without her.

I can see where you are coming from but really, it is not so much about luck as being open and honest with tutors, and seeing them as being there to help.

Personally, I'd be taking some action if I couldn't get into uni, and if the tutors weren't helpful, I'd be seeking out other sources of help/information.

I know how easy it can be to bury your head (I have a tendancy to do it myself) but, if you are pestered by tutors then they clearly expect you to attend, so if you didn't either start attending, or contacting the uni to say why, then what are they supposed to do? They're not mind readers and without you following the proper channels, there isn't much they can do to help, iyswim?

As good as my personal tutor is, I can say for sure you would not have been chased up at my uni, by him or any other tutor - it is 100% up to the student whether or not they attend. We are given the attendence regulations and that is it! The most you'd have got is an email at the end of the semester telling you not to bother submitting assessments as they wouldn't be marked due to poor attendence.

I guess, as adults, it is down to the student to tell people what is happening and ask for advice on the proper channels to take, maybe. It isn't up to tutors to chase us up and 'make things better' as such.

I think there is a big difference between approaching a tutor with information about the problem, and asking for their advice, and approaching them with long tales of woe. The former they can look at and possibly advise but the latter is more a job for student support.

xcat_girlx

bestpud wrote: »

I have a very good personal tutor, yes, and he has helped an awful lot. However, I had already started a mit circs claim before I told him I was having problems.

But tbh, the student counsellor has been the biggest help to me - I know I wouldn't have stuck it out without her.

I can see where you are coming from but really, it is not so much about luck as being open and honest with tutors, and seeing them as being there to help.

Personally, I'd be taking some action if I couldn't get into uni, and if the tutors weren't helpful, I'd be seeking out other sources of help/information.

I know how easy it can be to bury your head (I have a tendancy to do it myself) but, if you are pestered by tutors then they clearly expect you to attend, so if you didn't either start attending, or contacting the uni to say why, then what are they supposed to do? They're not mind readers and without you following the proper channels, there isn't much they can do to help, iyswim?

As good as my personal tutor is, I can say for sure you would not have been chased up at my uni, by him or any other tutor - it is 100% up to the student whether or not they attend. We are given the attendence regulations and that is it! The most you'd have got is an email at the end of the semester telling you not to bother submitting assessments as they wouldn't be marked due to poor attendence.

I guess, as adults, it is down to the student to tell people what is happening and ask for advice on the proper channels to take, maybe. It isn't up to tutors to chase us up and 'make things better' as such.

I think there is a big difference between approaching a tutor with information about the problem, and asking for their advice, and approaching them with long tales of woe. The former they can look at and possibly advise but the latter is more a job for student support.

again i think some of it is down to the uni

i told my tutor i was having problems, and was told tough

they admited that they hadnt followed proper procedures with regards to my attenance, but was told tough and it was too late.

i think the best thing in this circumstance is going to be honesty, i found writing things down helped before i spoke to people, keeps a clear picture in your head, and also, check the uni website and comb through every bit of fine print. in the end they backed down and let me on a foundation entry course so i could continue getting financial support for accomodation etc.

also, unis NEED to make help more readily available. no-where during freshers were we told where to go if we had problems. very poor support system.

with regards to this brother in question, if his parents are aware, can they not help with regards to getting him to uni to see tutors etc?

The_One_Who

xcat_girlx wrote: »

also, unis NEED to make help more readily available. no-where during freshers were we told where to go if we had problems. very poor support system.

I think there is bountiful supply of help already, most of it which goes woefully underused. Not through lack of advertising it though, at least not at my university. I think most, if not all, will have counselling services available, chaplaincy, student support, etc, etc.

Students are expected to be adults and not be hand-held through everything. If you don't ask for help or explain your situation then tutors can't do anything. They don't know if you are just being lazy or are having serious problems. All it would take is an e-mail to explain and that would have it been sorted and the ball would be rolling towards you getting help.

My university is quite large, roughly 20,000 students, and my department isn't the smallest. I've always managed to e-mail my personal tutor, e-mail a different one or e-mail my subject tutor. All have managed to get back to me within a day and, if necessary, see me within a couple of days.

xcat_girlx

The_One_Who wrote: »

Students are expected to be adults and not be hand-held through everything.

agreed! then why was my uni sending letters addressed to "the parent of" and asking them to ensure i attended lectures?