Christmas debt - will you go deeper into debt?

ceegee

Being a tight git like me helps at Christmas!

Seriously though and without wanting to be a bore about it, Christmas is not a spendfest...it is about something else.

Things like tins of biscuits and boxes of chocolates and new clothes have nothing to do with Christmas.

We have a very nice dinner and tea on Christmas Day, but we are wearing our ordinary clothes.

Hype is everywhere.....get a new sofa in time for Christmas?

I would rather have a thoughtfully chosen gift that cost 50p than something I don't really need which cost £100.

I might well be a tight git, but I'm not a miserable one. Often after Christmas I hear people asking each other "did you have a nice Christmas?" and so often the answer is "no". They complain about the cost and how long it took them to do everything etc.etc. Well, keep it simple. Keep the cost sensible. Don't be taken in by all the media hype and the peer pressure.

May I be one of the first to wish everyone a joyous and happy Christmas with much love and loads of snow! :j

ceegee

niceshoes_2

Ooooh, snow would be good. I can't remember the last time it was snowing on christmas day. I'd rather have nothing for christmas and have snow..............

margaretclare

ceegee wrote:

Being a tight git like me helps at Christmas!

Seriously though and without wanting to be a bore about it, Christmas is not a spendfest...it is about something else.

Things like tins of biscuits and boxes of chocolates and new clothes have nothing to do with Christmas.

We have a very nice dinner and tea on Christmas Day, but we are wearing our ordinary clothes.

Hype is everywhere.....get a new sofa in time for Christmas?

I would rather have a thoughtfully chosen gift that cost 50p than something I don't really need which cost £100.

I might well be a tight git, but I'm not a miserable one. Often after Christmas I hear people asking each other "did you have a nice Christmas?" and so often the answer is "no". They complain about the cost and how long it took them to do everything etc.etc. Well, keep it simple. Keep the cost sensible. Don't be taken in by all the media hype and the peer pressure.

May I be one of the first to wish everyone a joyous and happy Christmas with much love and loads of snow! :j

ceegee

Ceegee, I totally agree.

How often have we got to put it, as you put it so well: 'Christmas is NOT a spendfest!'

We've invited someone round to share our Christmas Day meal, only because she was going to be on her own (daughter doesn't invite mum for Christmas Day meal because 'mum hasn't got a partner'. Funny people there are out there!!)

We have a crown of turkey to eat, so there'll be plenty - B bought some small Christmas puddings a couple of weeks ago, we have a bottle of mead we brought back from the Anglo-Saxon get-together we went to at the end of last month. We don't do trees, lights, etc etc. I do send Christmas cards, bought from a different charity each year - there are people I send good wishes to only once a year. We don't do presents.

Normally we like to have a quiet Christmas Day. Not even church now, because even there the commercialisation has crept in. I know it's a bit light-hearted, I know the kids respond, but 'What did you all get?' grates a bit. The kids bring their toys, the men show off their socks that play 'Jingle Bells', and I'm the only one thinking 'this should not be about "what did you all get" '.

Apparently many many centuries ago our pagan ancestors would bring a tree indoors to keep the tree-spirits warm over the winter. They would hang things on the branches for the tree-spirits to eat, little lights so they could see...I like that idea. But I wouldn't want to just throw the tree out with the rubbish, and no, I haven't got space for any more potted trees! Many years ago my grandson got very upset about a Christmas tree having to be thrown away after Christmas. He became so distressed, poor little man...I've never felt the same about having a Christmas tree since then, in fact I don't think I've even had one since then, certainly not since I came here to live (1990).

I mustn't feel mean about inviting B's friend, we have so much happiness and she's alone...but she wants a definite time that we're going to eat lunch, and then she wants to stay for the whole day. We never lay down strict timetables. We usually have smoked salmon and scrambled egg for Christmas morning breakfast, then if we were going to church, or we'd go down the sea-front to look at the migrant birds, the winter visitors, then we might have Christmas meal at 2 or 3 pm - we don't like to be tied down. She's already concerned because I'm having more major hip surgery on 1st Dec and she thinks I won't be able to do Christmas lunch...little does she know, B is doing it! But it may not be 'all the trimmings' (whatever that means) so inviting someone in may not be such a good idea...and yet, as I said, we have so much more happiness than she has, mustn't be mean.

Only I think we may go away another Christmas, to escape it all!

Aunty Margaret

elona

Aunty Margaret

I have a feeling that by the end of Christmas day you will have a very good idea of why a certain person is not invited anywhere else.

Think back to last years Christmas threads on relatives and their behaviour at Christmas.

Have a good time with your loved one - he sounds lovely :j

exessexmum

Well my Christmas is all done now <insert smug faced emote> All presents bought and wrapped, Christmas cards bought and not yet written and we are going to my folks so no food to buy <yippee!!>

Mind you I have been buying my presents since, erm, about January. And all the paper and cards were bought in the January sales at at least half price off.

margaretclare

elona wrote:

Aunty Margaret

I have a feeling that by the end of Christmas day you will have a very good idea of why a certain person is not invited anywhere else.

Think back to last years Christmas threads on relatives and their behaviour at Christmas.

Have a good time with your loved one - he sounds lovely :j

Thank you very much, Elona!

I feel a bit mean actually, but this lady came round for a cup of tea a few days ago and we were talking about her coming for lunch - she said openly 'and what time will you kick me out after lunch?' We were a bit gobsmacked, didn't quite know how to respond, and she made quite clear that having to go home to be alone for the rest of Christmas Day is not fun. I know, I once spent Christmas totally alone, and helping at the homeless centre made me feel a lot worse because I couldn't see how I wouldn't be joining them by another Christmas.

I do feel a bit mean, because we have so much happiness...but we're not the sort of people who do things to a timetable, and being asked what time is lunch, and what time will you kick me out after, is not really the way we think.

B said to me: we could always have bacon and egg for Christmas Day lunch! I said fine, no problem, it wouldn't bother me at all.

She also mentioned 'all the trimmings', whatever they are. I spoke about this to my daughter - they're having a crown of turkey like us, but she said 'Oh Mum, you can get all the rest of it in M&S'! Which might be easier...

I can always plead 'not feeling up to it' - after all, it'll only be 3 weeks following major surgery!

Next year I think, we'll go away for Christmas! I saw a boat trip down the Rhine advertised, I won't feel up to that either this year, but another year....

Aunty Margaret

elona

Aunty Margaret

I do not want to worry you but I am getting a bad feeling about this.

She assumes you "will be kicking her out!"

She wants to know the exact timetable.

She wants "all the trimmings"

Not too sure what she means by this as it varies from family to family - but if she is on about sausages, stuffing, cranberry sauce, bread sauce, sausages wrapped in bacon- then Christmas pudding in brandy, lots of cream and mince pies followed by chocolates or cheese and biscuits etc plus drinks (bet she wants sherry or port)

She could end up costing you a fortune and you or DH spending all day in the kitchen.

I am not happy that she seems to be dictating to you already about YOUR Christmas which is a very special and private time to you both. She also seems to have quite a chip on her shoulder.

Sorry to "poke my nose in" and be a bit of a misery but I would hate to see a kind and genuine gesture turn around and bite you.

If I were you I would see how she behaves in the few weeks and if it looks as if my suspicions might be correct ( and I hope not) then your medical condition might mean that things have to change. Hint

I would hate to think that you both end up unhappy on Christmas day and that you have "set a precedent" so that next year she asks "Am I coming to you AS USUAL!"

margaretclare

elona wrote:

Aunty Margaret

I do not want to worry you but I am getting a bad feeling about this.

She assumes you "will be kicking her out!"

She wants to know the exact timetable.

She wants "all the trimmings"

Not too sure what she means by this as it varies from family to family - but if she is on about sausages, stuffing, cranberry sauce, bread sauce, sausages wrapped in bacon- then Christmas pudding in brandy, lots of cream and mince pies followed by chocolates or cheese and biscuits etc plus drinks (bet she wants sherry or port)

She could end up costing you a fortune and you or DH spending all day in the kitchen.

I am not happy that she seems to be dictating to you already about YOUR Christmas which is a very special and private time to you both. She also seems to have quite a chip on her shoulder.

Sorry to "poke my nose in" and be a bit of a misery but I would hate to see a kind and genuine gesture turn around and bite you.

If I were you I would see how she behaves in the few weeks and if it looks as if my suspicions might be correct ( and I hope not) then your medical condition might mean that things have to change. Hint

I would hate to think that you both end up unhappy on Christmas day and that you have "set a precedent" so that next year she asks "Am I coming to you AS USUAL!"

Ah no, Elona. Whatever 'all the trimmings are' as you describe, she won't be getting them. She doesn't like smoked salmon, she doesn't like olives and feta cheese, which we love. No, we will not be manipulated into anything we don't want to do. Anyone who comes to us puts up with what WE want to do.

I wouldn't be able to eat all that stuff you mention - sausages etc. We have a good excuse for a lot of things as B is a diabetic. She was telling us how she bought cakes, biscuits etc cheap in Lidl and we chorused 'we don't buy them, we don't buy them...' Even though she buys cakes and biscuits she also buys Slimfast meal replacements - B told her quite openly that she'd be far better to eat proper food! So we won't be having mince pies, cake, all those other things. We didn't even have a wedding cake for the same reason!

She will get crown of turkey and some fresh veg, chestnut stuffing, cranberry sauce, and to follow, little Christmas puds. We don't do cream, we like Greek-style yogurt instead. We'll probably follow with brewed coffee and brandy (won a bottle of brandy in a church raffle). We're not going to have a 'special Christmas tea'.

At some point in the conversation I intend to drop in '....and we plan to go away for next Christmas, would have gone this year but it was too close to coming out of hospital and I wouldn't feel up to it'. So I do NOT intend for this to set a precedent for succeeding years.

But thank you very much for your concern.

Best wishes

Aunty Margaret

elona

Aunty Margaret

Just read your post and have a big smile on my face.

I am so glad that you already have it all "sussed out" and laughed out loud when you commented on her buying slimfast meals to go with all the sweets,cakes, biscuits and cream - especially your husband's comments - he sounded just like mine and I can hear him saying it!

When you make the comment about going away for Christmas next year - be prepared to mention this idea several times over the course of the year as "There are none so deaf as those who will not hear."

Best of luck for 1st of December and I am sure I will only be one of many who will be thinking of you.

Rebob

I have the wrapping paper from the January sales plus two large rolls given to me off my mum. Lots of cards somewhere but did not search as mum gave me a large box of spares she found from last year.

The tree is a star shape that drops over a pole. Bought it from ikea a couple of years ago. Tied a sting of fairy lights inside it so it easy put up and down each year.

I have been buying things for gifts since June. When poundland had asda gift sets in I got a couple and so on. Spent about £10 a month and splurged out on ds (£30 in the scouts fund raising book). I told my son that if he wanted to go to the scout summer camp that there would not be so much off me and his dad as we had to pay £30 last week and another £30 before the end of Jan.

Christmas day is a bacon sandwich as we open gifts for breakfast, a standard turkey dinner with apple sauce and a couple of cheap crackers on the table followed by value christmas pud with birds instant brand sauce for desert. Tea is usually a turkey sandwich.

The extra we spend on shopping if for some beer etc which we usually buy too much of and it lasts us ages.

Last year we had a little caravan and went away from the 27th and met up with others that we message. If we still had the van I think we would have gone for christmas too this year.