Selling the house after a split

gemma0_5

I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right forum here, but will give it a go and see if anyone can help!

Me and my partner split about 6 weeks ago (we were due to marry 3 weeks ago). The split was his fault (cheating) and he was the one who decided to end it. We have a house in joint names and having spoken to the mortgage advisor it is a relatively straightforward process for me to buy him out. The problem is the contents. Some of the contents are solely mine, therefore I intend to keep them. But prior to buying the house (2 years ago) he took out a loan to pay for any other furniture, carpets etc. This loan still has about 3 years left. It's in his name only, but we've both been paying it for the last 2 years. Obviously I want it removed from my address, but it's what to do with the stuff. It is reasonable of me to just give him all the furniture that we bought with it and he carries on paying the loan himself? I have a feeling he will kick off as we bought things like flooring too, am I expected to reimburse him for this? I would say not, as the flooring would be included were we to sell the house and we couldn't sell it with all the furniture.

I just want this sorted as quickly and easily as possible.

Also, we have another issue in that when he was leaving he offered to repay my parents the near-on £20,000 they had paid for our wedding, but he now seems to be going back on his word. Is it reasonable to ask for the money? or at least half? He initially admitted to all the suppliers that he was responsible for calling it off, but is now saying he doesn't feel he is responsible for all the expenses, just 'his half'

Thanks if you can help me!

pawpurrs

Well this is a tricky one. Firstly I am so sorry this has happened. Big Hugs.
Buying him out of the house is fairly straight forward (make sure you get a good price) I think it is reasonable that he takes the furniture and pays the rest of the loan, but as for flooring he shouldnt make you contribute towards that as you say that is part of the house sale.
As for the wedding I think the least he can do is reimburse your parents any out of pocket expenses.
I recall a case (not sure if it was uk or USA) where a partner sued some one for just this reason and they were made to pay plus money for stress and upset! Making him pay it is a different matter all together.

GDB2222

Sorry about this. It must have been awful for you all. I guess it's better that you found out sooner rather than later.

On a practical basis, it's very difficult to value houses at the moment, as so little is changing hands. Prices are expected to reduce further, so you may be doing your ex a great favour if you take his half off his hands. That seems to me to be a far bigger issue than the value of the furniture, so if you can sort out the house, there ought to be a bit of give and take about the furniture.

On a practical basis, where is your ex living? Does he need furniture? Also, carpets that have been fitted to the house have no value any more. Secondhand furniture has virtually no value either. In fact, although the loan is over 5 years, you have jointly had the best use out of the furniture. I would suggest that whichever of you has a use for the furniture should keep it. If it's you who gets it, you should pay him the value of the outstanding loan on that item. There's no obviously right answer, though.

On the wedding costs, you should be able to negotiate a major reduction with the suppliers. They are entitled to loss of profit. For the florist, for example, they don't have to buy in the flowers they were going to supply. The caterer does not need to buy food or hire staff. I don't think your ex should be liable for more than half of the costs. The courts have long ago stopped assigning blame for marital breakdown to individual parties, and you should apply the same principle here.

neas

20k on a wedding ouch!.

If you want the fairest answer.

The furniture should all be sold... the money used to pay off some or all the loan. If ANY of the loan is left... then it should be HALVED between you and the OH. You bought the furniture together (i presume this)... or it should be valued as it is now (2nd hand furniture.. its had a good 2 years use by both you and the EX) and OH should pay (valuation of furniture - Loan amount)/2 .. i.e what the furniture is really worth once you've taken off the loan divided by 2.

You should pay your EX Half the house valuation.

As fpr wedding thats tricky.. I doubt theres a legal standing on it because your parents Dont have to pay for all these things.

pinkshoes

Is the relationship beyond repair? No chance of councelling, grovelling (on his behalf) and forgiveness?

Was his infidelity just a one-off, or had he actually been having a full blown relationship with someone? If the former, then I'd say split the wedding losses 50-50, but if he'd actually been in a relationship with someone else whilst at the same time planning a wedding with you, then I think he should foot the entire bill!

As for the house, then you'll need to get it valued. When did you buy it, and how much equity is in it?

You should let him keep the furniture and finish paying the loan (if that's what he wants), but the flooring would be included in the house value, so has very little re-sale value, which would be compensated by the money you put towards the loan repayment.

neas

yea but how can you make him foot the bill.. wheres the contract?

fimonkey

Ouch, poor you. Hope you've got plenty of support from friends and family at this time.

In the meantime be VERY wary of anything he says to you in terms of what he will and will not pay for, he's more than likely saying he'll pay out of guilt etc, and once he stops feeling guilt he'll try to minimise all his losses. ...

... My advice? Get him round on the pretence of sorting out the loan and furniture, put on the female charm and show him how hurt and upset you are etc etc.. then when in his moment of guilt he offers to pay get him to put it in writing and sign it there and then... there's your contract!!

Good luck.

gemma0_5

Thank you everyone for the advice. I've made some progress but am stuck again.

My older brother is giving me a lump sum to pay half the mortgage and will be named on a declaration of trust as a part owner but not on the deeds (he wants to stay off mortgage etc. so it doesn't affect his own mortgage application when he makes one). The house has been valued at £115,000, we have £114,000 left to pay on the mortgage (approx). As you can see there is no profit. I have said this to the ex who agrees that he would not get any money by selling and actually stands to lose in terms of estate agent,solicitor, building society etc. fees. and so he kind of agrees to my plan to 'buy' him out, even though no money would be changing hands, it just means he is mortgage free and free to get on with his own life well away from me.

The problem is what is inside the house. As i mentioned, when we bought it, we took a loan to cover furniture, flooring and all the other bits that don't come in a new-build. The loan is in his name. Ive suggested (and again, he agrees) that he continue the loan (or pay off himself, whichever he chooses) and take the furniture, as it is technically his. BUT... he is trying to claim that he has invested approx. 20K over the last two years in the house. His reason for this is (wait for it!!) how much deposit he paid and all the mortgage payments he has contributed towards. Now I might be very stupid, but to me, asking for what he has paid towards the mortgage is like asking a landlord for your rent back when you move out. Surely he can't do this???? He also wants things like the tiled floors and granite worktops taken into consideration. I was under the impression that these items were included in the value of the house and therefore he cannot claim against them. The way I see it is that I am effectively a buyer of the house, albeit one who owns half of it already, therefore anything that would apply when selling on the open market also applies here????

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Gemma

poppysarah

What is the mortgage. Have you paid equally for the duration?
What deposit have you both put in?

Sell the house. It'll only hold bad memories for you.

I'm not sure why he thinks he deserves more money for fixtures.

You need to agree a way of dividing up the financial mess you're in.

gemma0_5

we have both paid the same over the last two years, he did pay a little bit more deposit, but he agrees that it is offset byt the time he spent living rent and bill free (and to be honest like a scrounger) at my parents house for nearly a year beforehand. I don't want to sell up, I love the house and actually want to live there (with some decoration and feminine touches). It's just the fixtures stuff thats causing me grief. He seems to think he is entitled to some kind of payback. He's always been tight though, I think he's out for everything he can get

geoffky

ask him to list what he wants then work from there...i doubt if any money will change hands as no equity...