Please, please advise..

lilaclilly

I suppose my problem will seem insignificant to most I have read on this forum but even so I can't cope with the worry.
Ok, here goes... I have maxed out my husbands credit card. He didn't mind me buying the odd few things so long as I paid for them, which I usually did. I have not paid any payments for about 6 months.. the letters keep coming and I binned them for fear my husband saw them, he is not easy to talk to!
Now I have told him. It's all he speaks to me about. This morning he left and told me to get it sorted.

We have been married for 35 years. I no longer work but have been trying for jobs each and every week. I have no money of my own, only the house-keeping out of which I have to pay my grandaughters dinner money each day (she is 14 and lives with us). He said he can't help me because we are only just managing with the rent and bills as it is...

I just don't know what to do..

saffronflowers

Big hug and a virtual gin and tonic.

Firstly - take a big breath and realise that this can be sorted, it may not be easy but it is sortable.

One of the best ways to approach your husband is with a solution. After all you have been married for 35 years and this really cannot be the worst thing that you have had to go through.

How much do you owe? - what is your income are you able to do a Statement of Affairs so that we can work out the quickest and best way to get this debt paid off? If you can post one up it would be really helpfu..

Many peeps here have been through the same if not similar situations so you will get massive help and support.

Sfx

vicallen2004

Hi there. It would have taken a lot of courage to talk to your husband and explain what has been going on so well done. Facing up to the problem is the first step to sorting it out and even though your husband will no doubt have a few choice words, you will feel better knowing that it is not hidden any more.

On a practical note, the first thing to do is note down everything that you owe on the card. Only making the minimum payments won't get you anywhere so you will need to make some cash from somewhere. If you put the time in, (it may seem tedious at times) you can make cash from the internet. Nothing large usually but it's better than nothing. You could try survey sites such as valid opinions and onepoll. Car boots (both in reality and on ibootsale.co.uk) can generate cash quickly as can ebay. You may be able to turn your hobby into money. You may be a fantastic knitter or card maker. Cashback web sites are also a good idea. If you have any designer clothes you no longer require, dress agencies will take them off your hands.

The local schools may need dinner ladies or lolly pop ladies which at least will generate your own income. Our local council has a list of council job vacancies so it may be worth double checking your own.

There may be an option to open another credit card which offers interest free balance transfers and switch the balance. The debit will still be there but at least you will be paying off the debt and not the interest. If the debt is totally out of hand, it may be worth your husband phoning them to explain the situation. They may be able to offer some options.

At the moment, I imagine you will feel terrible but it can be fixed. You can call your local CAB who specialise in helping people get out of debt and open avenues that you may not be aware of. Please try not to fret and good luck! You should feel proud of yourself for facing it to it at least even though ypu won't feel too great at the moment. x

GeorgeUK

I agree - a statement of affairs would help - we may be able to spots some areas of your expenditure you can save in. It would help if you can list all the debt rather than just what you owe on the credit card.
https://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Another option may be to try to get a new creditcard with a 0% promotional offer. This way you wouldn't need to worry about interest being added too. Do not just apply for lots of cards - you can have about 3 credit checks in a 6 month period before it starts to affect your credit score.

Have you tried charity shops or any local clothes shops that may need some part-time assistants?

RAS

Hi

if you post up that SOA, you may be able to find ways of cutting back a bit. Also have a look at http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/make-money for ways of making little bits of money.

And do you have anything you could put on amazon or take to a car boot to kick start the payments?

lilaclilly

Thank you for your replies... and the G&T.
Firstly my husband won't help me. Secondly I am trying to sell keepsake templates on ebay but nothing is selling, I don't know why, I've had good feedback..
My age seems to be against me for jobs, last week I applied for 5, but no response. I just don't seem to be getting anywhere. I haven't any income of my own apart from £80.00 house keeping which as I explained I have my grandaughters dinner money to pay. I don't think we could get another credit card because of the 6 missed payments.
I have been struggling with this for months now. My husband has always kept me short of money and I know it's my fault, I just couldn't stop. It was the first time I could buy something without having to ask.... So stupid, stupid, stupid

RAS

Lilac

What happens to the child benefit?

Are you entitled to ctc or WTC if you are caring for here?

lilaclilly

Child benefit pays the water rates and clothing etc for Ellen.
We applied for CTC & WTC butstill paying back from previous over payment of the first time we claimed which was 3 years ago and never received anymore. We have to apply so that they can take beck the money.

RAS

Thanks for the explanations

is the £80 per week or per month and what does it cover?

paddlingfuriously

Hi Lilaclilly - sorry to hear you're having a horrid time of it. Have you tried B&Q, M&S and Sainsbury's for jobs? They recognise the benefits of employing more mature people... Perhaps you could do some babysitting or childminding for some quick cash in hand, or dog walking or cleaning or ironing? Sorry this probably isn't helpful but I didn't want to read and run - please don't let it get you down - there are so many people on here who will have ideas of how to sort it out. xx

slummymummyof3

Have you had someone check through what you are putting on your application forms? Perhaps it might not be your age but something you are writing or even not writing on your applications. What about doing some sort of temping through an agency?