Use my savings for partners debts?

Piquant_2

Hi Julie

I echo the others. You should help your partner with all the debt resources and advice available, but don't pay the debts. It is an unfortunate fact that you have to want to do this for yourself or you will carry on spending. Think of it a little like smoking, you are the only person who can break the habit, no-one else, no matter how much they want to, can do it for you. Until you admit there's a problem it might as well not exist.

Hope this came across okay, I'm not very good with words. I wish you well and know you will find all the support and information you need on this site as well as meeting some great people.

Piq

tyllwyd

I thought of something else if you want to do more to help - if you take on the 0% debt and he keeps the debt with the interest, why not arrange it so that he pays your debt (at a rate which means that it is gone in the 15 months) and you use your savings to gradually pay the minimum payments on his to stop it defaulting - that way, at least you can keep track of the debt in your name and you haven't spent all of your savings in one go. And when he's got rid of your debt, he can tackle the rest of it.

JES_F1

Hi there :hello:

I would agree with the others on here - please don't transfer his debts into your name. Though I hope you will have a long and happy relationship, I can only see this causing lots of problems ... What if you split up before the debts are paid? Will he keep spending anyway and run up further debts, expecting to be bailed out again?

On a couple of occasions, I took out a loan to pay off credit cards when they got close to the credit limit. Instead of then cutting up the cards and just concentrating on paying the loans, I started spending on the cards again, thus digging an even bigger hole for myself.

It's only been by facing up to reality, and dealing with it myself, that I've learnt my lesson. I've got a debt management plan with the CCCS. It'll take me about five years to pay off, though I'm hoping to clear it sooner. If a magic fairy had come along earlier in the year and given me £45,000 to clear all my debts, I don't think I'd've learnt the errors of my way, and would have eventualy slipped back into putting things on my credit cards.

Instead of immediate financial help, get him lots of information from all the great sources like CAB and the debt charities - and of course this great web site - and I'm sure you can help him find a solution.

Good luck and very best wishes.

Cornball

My gut would be not to make this problem your problem in any legal sense. You could sort this out for him but then he will not have the tools to sort it out or prevent it from happening again. Also, money has a funny way of coming between the most loyal and devoted people.

You can help him in so many other ways that will mean more in the long run and he will learn to take care of himself and be self sufficient. It won't be easy but he will have a great cheerleader in you by his side encouraging him along.

And if he wants some more cheerleaders and people to commiserate with, you know where to send him!

dolly25_2

Never pay off anybody's debts however much you love them. I lent my ex partner money to pay off debts (nearly £2000) and I have never had it back. He takes great joy in reminding me of the fact too. He's still running up his own debts as well.

GeorgeUK

Dolly - have you not tried taking him to the small claims court? Even if he won't be able to pay it all back, i wouldn't just let him get away with it - it was a loan.

beasty321

My ex wife drip fed me her debt details over a period of approx 12 months, all of them run up before we even got engaged!! I decided to do the honourable husbandly thing and took out a loan to help clear them. Now I have no money she has kicked me out, taken the car which is on hp in my name, and will pursue a divorce to see what else she can squeeze out. We had only been married six months and it looks like she had premeditated this scenario as I thnik she did same with previous partner. She can rot in hell!!