Use my savings for partners debts?

juliep_2

Hi all, I'm a new poster as I'm after some advice. Up to about a month ago I had only one small credit card debt which is on a 0% interest CC and I was tarting for another 0% deal soon. Then my partner admitted to having difficulty with his credit card payments. It's taken me about 4 weeks to finally drag out of him that he owes @£16,000. He told me that he'd had some small CC debts and put them on 0% interest rate cards after I'd been sending him the MSE weekly e-mail for ages but it all got out of hand and he couldn't make minimum payments and has been spending on them too. I was gobsmacked!
Well after a few days of hand wringing and not talking I started to sort it all out. Thanks to me being an MSE member for a while I knew what to do and luckily I have a good credit history.
So I've just got the go ahead from Virgin CC for a 0% balance transfer for 15 months for @ £9000 and am waiting for an answer from Ulster Bank to see if they will up my credit limit with them on a new balance transfer for £7000. I had rang Ulster Bank to cancel my CC after transferring the balance of my £1200 debt from them to Abbey Zero CC and they offered a new 6 months 0% interest free period but for a 2% fee this time.
I'd like to ask some advice from other MSE'ers though. I have some savings, mostly in shares ISAs and know that Martin's advice is to use savings to pay off debt. I have @ £7000 savings, so should I:

1. pay off the £7000 debt which is on a hideous interest rate with the savings now? Or
2. transfer the £7000 debt to the Ulster Bank Card if they agree that I can balance transfer to them at 0% for a 2% fee and leave the shares ISAs where they are until the 6 months interest free period is up? Or
3. transfer the £7000 debt to the Ulster Bank Card if they agree that I can balance transfer to them at 0% for a 2% fee and transfer the shares ISAs to a savings account as they just seem to be losing money

The Abbey Zero 0% rate will end in December so I'll have @£1200 to pay off or move then, but it will cost me a fee.

Unfortunately I've just worked out that even with with the 0% deals and the savings, we would have to pay @£755 per month to pay the debts off in 15 months. That's just not going to happen! I've already decided that I'm going to have to go back to work full time from part time. I do extra unpaid hours at home anyway, I may as well get paid for them!
Thanks for reading and sorry for the rambling, I've just not been able to talk to anyone about this at all!

lilac_lady

I think it all depends on how much you can trust your partner. If there's a niggly doubt that he'll run up debt again or not pay you back I'd hesitate to get into debt on his behalf. Not an easy situation for you.

Buffythedebtslayer

I am pretty sleepy, but I think you should pay off your debt, - with your savings. I don't know anything about shares(!) but if they are losing money then well no I don't know!

I don't understand how your partners debt is yours to pay off? - sorry if that sounds harsh I guess I really don't go in for the shared finances thing.

Plus which paying them off won't stop him running then up again? - if you sort of bail him out? And it all puts your Credit rating at risk.

I would - thinking about it a bit more, offer to cover the minimum payments to save any credit problems? - missed payments etc

I do think it is a bit much that you have to completely change your life to pay off someone else 's debt? - ie go back full time?

hope you find a solution (and get some one more helpful!)

xx

tallyhoh

N000oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Dont pay anyone elses debts, no matter how much you think you can trust them.

You need to sort out the problem that caused him to get into debt in the first place, its not just a bit of overspending on the spur of the moment.

Please dont do it.

Burlesque_Babe

no. please don't do it. Even if you remain together for the rest of your lives, who's to say he won't do it again?

Please, please, please - don't. There are tales people on DFW can tell of doing something similar and ending up with horrible debt for years.

The only way he can sort it out is to look to recognise the reasons behindthe spending and then to come up with a plan - with your help of course - to pay it off over x number of years. He'll get to understand the value of money and to learn to undo the triggers which made him spend. If you pay it off, he quite possibly won't learn and could well do it again.

belfastgirl23

Agree with the others. If you sort out all the finances for him and he doesn't take any responsibility for the debt he will run it up again. A period of struggling to pay them off will be very good for him. In the meantime you could be saving away and if he is making good strides by christmas, then perhaps offer to help. But I'd def want to see he is serious first.

The other thing is that if you do get this money for him and he doesn't change, it will put a huge strain on your relationship....

mum2one

Please please do nto pay off his debts, I appriciate that is your other half, but say for what ever reason you split up a month down the line, your now saddled with the debt. i can see that your heart is in the best of places.

Its hard not to help, but if you bail someone out, they just get back into the same situation, as there has been no hard work involved in getting it sorted, sounds silly, but its on par with buying a cake, ok, its a cake,can get another one any time or bakeing one, the effort went into it, and is paid off in more ways then one.

brownbabygirl

Don't do it PLEASE!!!

BridgetJones_2

Please don't. Help him get all the resources to start digging into the debt, this website, snowballing etc etc and maybe pay for the occasional treat but he should pay off the debts alone or no lesson will be learnt & he'll soon be piling up the debts again.

GeorgeUK

As others have said, if you take on his debts, they will be soley yours in the eyes of the creditors. If anything happens further down the line such as you splitting or more debt, then you are responsible for this - not him.

If you insist on helping him out, i suggest you write a brief contract stating that this is a loan from you to him.

I would also get confirmation on what he has spent the money on. If it is something like gambling you will need to make sure that it won't happen again. Spending on cards that he is using for 0% transfers does not sound good. It seems he knew he shouldn't be doing this, but did it anyway. I think you need to do quite a bit more talking.

Why se yourself a deadline of only 15 months? Once that passes, he should hopefully still have cards with a nil balance and you may be able to either get him (with his revamped and helathy credit score) to take out a new 0% promotion card or try to get offers on his existing cards. Some places offer this as an incentive to stop you from closing your account. Then once this BT offer ends, repeat the process.

If you do not need to use the savings right now and can transfer everything to 0% then i would do this. Keep your savings until possibly you run out of transfer options - i'd keep this as a safety net. It sounds as though you may need some safety in what you are proposing. It would be better if he was able to deal with it through your guidance.

Hope it works out for you.

tyllwyd

I agree with the others that you are taking a huge risk by putting all his debt into your own name - if I've understood you right, you are already taking on about £7000 of his debt, and proposing to use £7000 of your own savings to clear the rest. That leaves him with no debt, and you with no savings and £7000 debt ... not exactly a good deal for you!! If you wanted to help, and took on the £7000 debt, at least if you keep the savings and you split up, you'd be able to use the savings to clear the debt and you wouldn't have his debt hanging over your head.

I think you should be a bit cautious for now, do what you can and see how things go. Clearing £16,000 debt in 15 months sounds very ambitious, even if he does everying to help (and he hasn't proved to you yet if he will).

About whether to cash in shares ISAs - I think you should ask on the savings and investments board about that. It depends on how long term you are thinking of investing, and whether you think the stock market will go up or down over that period of time. If you sell now, when shares are low, if they do go up you will have locked in your losses. Of course, if they go down further, you will be pleased you sold! But the savings and investments board is good for giving you an idea if you are getting a good deal currently, so it is worth popping over there. And why not sign up to the moneyweek free e-mail - I get it, and although they are consistently gloomy, it is interesting to see what they say about the economy etc