stuck in housing rut...any advice?

nomoredebts

Hi everyone, it's been ages since I posted. 2 years ago I owed almost £27,000 in debts, and I have managed to pay of £16 000 of that, and now am down to £11, 124.45. It's been a bit slow this year because I have been putting off learning to drive until i got debt free, but decided to use some of my snowball (I have 2 debts left now, one is interest free, before I had 8) cash to learn to drive, for all sorts of reasons, which I won't go into here. Suffice it to say that the only negative aspect of this decision is that, whilst my debt has gone down and is still going down, it obviously has not decreased as rapidly as it might have done had I not done the driving. Other than that learning to drive has been a positive experience, which I don't regret.

Now onto the meat of my situation. I am at present, raising 3 children without a husband/partner. The eldest has just finished uni but is currently doing some voluntary work and is intending to continue studying in 2009. I run my own business from home, which is doing well, (by that I mean, I'm earning more doing the same as I was at my old job, but realize I have a lot more I could do to boost the coffers). April 2009 will mark my 2nd year of trading.

I live in a 3 bed (2 single 1 double) council flat and now that my children are older (youngest is 13) we are really feeling the squeeze. Of course the benefit of cheap accommodation cannot be overstated, however, the current situation is growing into an increasingly untenable one. I've looked at options such as exchanges etc but we have a problem which is not of my making, but has plagued us on and off since we moved here in 2003...cockroaches. I cannot tell you how vile these creatures are. We've run the gamut of pest control etc and I've been from pillar to post to get our Local Authority to sort the block out. It took over 2 years before they finally agreed to a block treatment. Although our flat wasn't the source of the infestation, the council wouldn't agree to a block treatment until a certain percentage of tenants agreed that they had roaches. It was a hassle to get people to fess up to having them, as unbelievably some people thought 'the odd one or two' was not a problem for them, or that they had seen them, but 'hadn't got round to' calling anyone about it!

Fast forward 2008 and it's a case of 3-4 months usually when we don't see any, and just as you think 'free at last' lo and behold the cycle starts all over again. This is why I could never in good conscience offer to swap my flat. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Although my flat is clean and nicely decorated, it doesn't feel like home at all. The roach situation is bad enough but add to the fact that we are falling on top of each other as well (the rooms are tiny) just adds to the frustration. The most recent issue has been us getting flooded from upstairs and having to wait (this is week 8) for the LA to come and sort out the repairs (I would do it myself but the damage does require specialist skills which i don't have...if it was a matter of slapping on some paint i'd be fine, but it is more than that).

I decided to look into getting a grant to buy on the open market back in April, but the LA has scrapped that scheme and plus, with a single income and with the current climate and the fact that I want to clear my debt first, buying would not be a wise option right now anyway.

I have considered renting privately but to be honest I am really nervous about overextending myself financially. My current rent is £480 pcm and that's in North London. I'd be lucky to pay that per week for a 4 bed place within travelling distance of the children's schools. With my earnings, at an absolute stretch (and obviously this would be more comfortable for me if i were debt free) I could manage £1000 pcm max. That would be with strippng all my expenses to the bone.

In the past I've done the 'rabbit in the headlights' thing as I've tried to figure out a solution and this is why, 5 years after moving here, I'm still here, and feel absolutely stuck. My children are wonderful, and my eldest is not in a position to move out right now, nor do I feel she should have to because I have failed to provide somewhere suitable for us all. The othe rtwo are settled and happy in their school and don't want to leave, so moving too far afield is not feasible right now either.

I'm not expecting to walk into a luxury penthouse, don't get me wrong (although if anyone has one going for nominal rent..lol!), but I am so weary of all the years of 'not quite adequate', embarassed to have people round etc, and I know it might not be a big deal to many people but it is to me, not having space for a dining table, that I feel like folding up and giving up. But I realize I have to do something, and even if the only solution is to perservere with the quarterly roach battles and pay out myself to make some cosmetic improvements to the flat so that it is more bearable, at least if anyone can offer any solutions (especially if you have been in a similar situation, i.e were in council and now private and it's worked for you) I'd be really grateful.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not uppity about council accomdation. I know it has a bit of a stigma in some areas, but in London, some flats in our block where tenants have bought are selling for £270, 000...AND SELLING! The thing is, it's abit of a lottery the kind of property you get really. I know a single dad who bagged an 3 bed house with garden in a street where the average price is £750, 000. It's a council place and his rent is £100 a week.

Sorry to have gone on so long. Any ideas much appreciated!

nomoredebts

Can I also add that even without the pests, the flat really is too small? It was supposed to be a 2 bed but was divided up to make a 3.

I don't want to seem like I'm moaning, as I appreciate that I'm fortunate to have a roof over my head at all, but equally if there is a way I can legally and wisely improve my situation, then I would like to take the opportunity to do so.

lynzpower

the difficulty is now, that given your eldests age, there is no issue of overcrowding- the council will assess and say that they are old enough to move out and get thier own place, leaving you actualy with a lot of space.( in thier eyes)

I really do not know what to suggest, if you are unwiling to swap it for something else and leave someone incoming with the roach problem.

It sounds like you are very proactive, and aside from the call shelter/ call your MP/ etc, I dont know what you can do without going private.

the only other suggestion is is your eldest working? If she can be, can she contribute to the cost of the rent through her "board"?

3 bed house in n9 - 1k per month http://www.rightmove.co.uk/viewdetails-21534542.rsp?pa_n=1&tr_t=rent - there are a number of other properties of the 3 bed variety around this mark on RM.

barnaby-bear

nomoredebts wrote: »

I live in a 3 bed (2 single 1 double) council flat and now that my children are older (youngest is 13) we are really feeling the squeeze. Of course the benefit of cheap accommodation cannot be overstated, however, the current situation is growing into an increasingly untenable one. I've looked at options such as exchanges etc but we have a problem which is not of my making, but has plagued us on and off since we moved here in 2003...cockroaches. I cannot tell you how vile these creatures are. We've run the gamut of pest control etc and I've been from pillar to post to get our Local Authority to sort the block out. It took over 2 years before they finally agreed to a block treatment. Although our flat wasn't the source of the infestation, the council wouldn't agree to a block treatment until a certain percentage of tenants agreed that they had roaches. It was a hassle to get people to fess up to having them, as unbelievably some people thought 'the odd one or two' was not a problem for them, or that they had seen them, but 'hadn't got round to' calling anyone about it!

Fast forward 2008 and it's a case of 3-4 months usually when we don't see any, and just as you think 'free at last' lo and behold the cycle starts all over again. This is why I could never in good conscience offer to swap my flat. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Although my flat is clean and nicely decorated, it doesn't feel like home at all. The roach situation is bad enough but add to the fact that we are falling on top of each other as well (the rooms are tiny) just adds to the frustration. The most recent issue has been us getting flooded from upstairs and having to wait (this is week 8) for the LA to come and sort out the repairs (I would do it myself but the damage does require specialist skills which i don't have...if it was a matter of slapping on some paint i'd be fine, but it is more than that).

I decided to look into getting a grant to buy on the open market back in April, but the LA has scrapped that scheme and plus, with a single income and with the current climate and the fact that I want to clear my debt first, buying would not be a wise option right now anyway.

I have considered renting privately but to be honest I am really nervous about overextending myself financially. My current rent is £480 pcm and that's in North London. I'd be lucky to pay that per week for a 4 bed place within travelling distance of the children's schools. With my earnings, at an absolute stretch (and obviously this would be more comfortable for me if i were debt free) I could manage £1000 pcm max. That would be with strippng all my expenses to the bone.
Any ideas much appreciated!

It's not the cost but also the lack of tenure - in the private sector you are at the whim of your landlord's finances and personal situation - it's two months notice, two months to find somewhere convenient affordable and this can happen several times in as many years. Plus when you stop earning do you have a stash of money to pay the rent - you'll be entitled to LHA for the smallest unit of accommodation possible. You get these problems in private rentals BUT private LLs like to keep costs low and have few moral qualms often about neglecting repairs (council tenants seem stunned when people mention how long it takes if at all to get anything done - the LL can give you notice and get a tenant who doesn't mind/know so you can't complain much)

TBH your oldest has a degree, is an adult - house sharing is part of the fun of being that age or travelling - it sounds a bit sad hanging around with your mum and kid siblings in a flat.... let the eldest have a bit of fun.

nomoredebts

lol, barnaby-bear! I see what you're saying and I hope it doesn't sound like I have issues letting go, cos far from it, believe you me! My daughter is an adult and comes and goes freely, has done the house share thing and will be doing so again for 9 months while she does her voluntary work in another town. But it's not a permanent thing, and she is only away term time. She's also done loads of travelling, leads a very full life and is not sad in any way whatsoever, none of us are, thank you very much!:D

My thing is when she is back in London, because of the prices, even of a flat share, I have always felt it makes more sense for her to put whatever money she would have towards rent with us, as lynzpower suggested, as obviously I'd charge her less, and the idea was that she could save her money towards a deposit of her own, when the time is favourable for her to do so. In this climate I don't think it's fair to class someone as sad if they are still living at home at 21, as many are for financial reasons.

Lynzpower your suggestion is valid about her working and contributing, and that will happen when she does her further study in 2009. At the mo she works part time to supplement her voluntary work and this pays for her flat share, but as I said it's not a permanent residence...her stuff is still squeezed into the corner of the room she shares with her sister.

There are many parents of adult children I am sure who, for whatever reason find themselves accommodating said children past the age when we ourselves would have been on our own phyically and financially...like it or not these are different times, and whilst I am far from a mollycoddler, I do want my daughter to be in a postion to buy her own place at some point, and as we all get on really well, and despite the cramped conditions, respect each other's space:rotfl:I don't see the point of her paying extra for a room she could theoretically get at home and saving her money for her future.

Anyway I do appreciate everyone's comments...just looking for practical suggestions really so I can feel I'm doing the wisest thing rather than sitting back and waiting for life to happen, if you get my drift!

ExNicotineQueen

It's a tough situation you are in and I feel for you. I can't really offer any practical advice but will say well done on starting the driving lessons and I hope things work out for you and your family.

pinkshoes

The practical solution is to stay put, as not only do you have really cheap rent, you also have the security of a house for life, which you don't get renting privately.

Buying is not an option, as not only would you have to clear your debts, you'll also need a 10% deposit.

It may FEEL small to you, but you only have 2 "children" (the third is an adult), so your current accomodation is perfectly adequate for your demands. The fact that you let your older daughter stay is very kind of you, but that is your choice to compromise the space.

Your only real option would be to rent privately, but is it really worth giving up cheap rent and lifetime security of a home just for a few extra meters squared?

You may know a single dad that gets a 3 bed council house to himself, but I also know of many couples with 3 children that only have a 2 bed flat, that would LOVE to have 3 bedrooms like you have.

For now I think you should learn to love what you have, concentrate on paying off all your debts, and THEN make a decision in a couple of years time.

going2die_rich

Think it's time you told your uni-grown-up son/daughter to start contributing. Volunteer work? Thats something you should only be doing if you can afford to do it, not when your parent is worrying about how to cover the household expenses.

Even if they only ended up as a data entry clerk for £6 a hour they'd be making £10k a year (before tax). Which I am guessing would go a long way to helping you financially. Even if they only paid their own way at least it would help. Not to mention if I got a 2 cv's, one with someone whose worked for a year and another thats done volunteer work, the volunteer one wouldn't get a look in for any job I'd be hiring for.

By the way, I don't see how you have failed since you've managed to bring up your child enough to reach uni. In many other countries around the world, they'd already be surviving on their own, so don't think being tough and telling it's time they paid their own way is failing as a parent.

poppysarah

Aren't the council obliged to sort out the infestation?
Regardless of whether people want to or not?

nixinix

I think you sound as if you are doing fantastically well - you have raised well rounded children, supported your eldest successfuly through uni so you are obviously doing something right, and are dealing with your debt.

It sounds to me like you have been struggling so hard that you have now reached the point where it feels like it should be getting better and the constant battles and lack of space are getting you down. You are achieving your challenge of sorting out the debt but need to know what is next... (that is my take on your post anyway!)

Personally, I think you need to get rid of all your debt and then you will have the extra money for you each month which you coul put towards a higher monthly rental figure, or which you start saving as a deposit towards a house. Of course you could take advantage of the goverments new propsals about offering you a 30% deposit for 5 years, or at least investigate it! What do you want to do? You sound very capable so I'd say set youself a deadline for clearing the debt (realistic so if you can do it quicker it really is an achievement) and decided how you will use the extra monthly money after that date...you may even decide a family holiday is needed, sounds like you deserve a little pampering!

(By the way I agree with your thoughts abou your eldest - but remember if she wasn't happy at home she wouldn't want to come back, she comes home to spend time with you, her mom, and her siblings so the space isn't important, if it was she'd be making excuses to stay away more!)

nomoredebts

pinkshoes, I know and agree...we were in a 2bed for 10 years before we got this place...ironically though, the 2 bed had more m squared than this place but that's another story.

I absolutely agree we have a lot of blessings, I really do not want to sound like I'm moaning at all...my post was just a way of throwing an idea out there, to get some feedback to make sure I'm making the best and wisest decisions for our family financially and practically. I brought up the single dad thing only as an illustration that, like with private accommodation, there's a huge variation in property standards/size with what you could get for your money, and that some get amazing places, some don't. Them's the breaks as they say. I absolutely know and accept that there are lots of people worse off than me, as there are many who are better. Just the way it is and so yes i agree, it's good to make the best of any situation you are in, and we have done. I was just trying to say, 'this is our situation, is there anything I could/should do to improve it?'

I agree that making the best of things and clearing my debts is sensible, and had kind of settled on that option, but just thought I should ask around in case anyone had any ideas I hadn't considered. lol, back to the hardware store for me then, for more supplies of boric acid. Seems to deter the pesky pests for 8 weeks or so at a time anyway!

going2die_rich a valid point for sure but the volunteer thing has been set up for a while, and is pertinent to what my daughter will be doing in her future. It's not a way of her shirking her responsibilities and yes when she is back home full time she will be paying her way, as she has done throughout her degree course. Trust me I've no problem with being tough, and there are no idlers in this house, lol! As for the 2 CVs situation...she is a bright and extremly talented young lady who will be an asset to anyone she works with...I hope I've given her the skills and confidence to go for anything she chooses, the right job will be hers at the right time, CV or no CV. In my experience although there are employers who will do what you would and trash the volunteer worker's CV, not every employer would. I have got the best jobs of my life on the strength of my personality and ability to secure interviews through networking, or word of mouth, and once, even by cold calling! CV's in all cases were an afterthought (just to be sure I wasn't lying about my fabulous qualifications, lol! – I wasn't )

Anyway a problem shared and all that and I thank everyone for their time and suggestions, feel free to add more, it's all welcome!