CSA advice needed

child359

Hi there guys.

I need a bit of advice.

Me and my ex have been seperated for 3 years now but not yet divorced (haven't had the cash to do it! No other reason)

He has always paid me a set amount from the start, which is quite good compared to lots of people I know, but bearing in mind what he earns I think it should be. (I am not a money grabber BTW)

Anyway he has recently started to see someone else and he has become a right kn0b. I kind of expected this to come because she appears to be pulling his strings but last night he has text me to say he is going to see a solicitor so he doesn't have to be beholden to me!! (He sees his son every other weekend for one overnight stay. I have regularly offered him more but he has turned it down!!!) but mainly he is going to the CSA.

My question is, he normally transfers the money into my bank on 16th, so I assume he won't this month. If he goes to the CSA and doesn't pay me how long roughly will it take for the money to start to be paid to me.

I currently feel sick with worry about it all.

He can see a solicitor all he wants, hopefully he will pay for the divorce whilst he is at it!! but it is the time without money that is worrying me

*Louise*

You need to conatct him and very nicely make sure he will continue with current arrangements until the CSA has sorted things out.

Personally, I think he is a bit daft insistiing on going through the CSA but since you have indicated he earns a good wage, perhaps he will end up having to pay more (hat'll tech him lol)

If he stops paying then there will be a gap and he would have to pay you a lump sum, so it's in his own interests not to stop.

The most important thing is to remain civil, no matter how much you want to scream at him for being a numpty, and maybe try and cut back a bit with things until you're sure what's happening.

Good luck

owsaboutthatthen

I came to a maintenance agreement with my ex (without the CSAs involovement) which always worked but he has since had a baby with his partner and things changed. I spoke to him about it the other day and he is going to start coughing up more money again. I believe now the CSA don't have any involvement if a couple can come to some private arrangement regarding maintenance payments (as in my case on Income Support). I agree with the above statement by Louise that if he goes through the CSA, he could end up paying more so good luck girl!

lizzak

Hi there,

If he goes through the CSA then its up to him, he'll think twice when they start asking him to pay more monies. This may not help you but it'll take a few months before the case is up and running. There are currently 2 systems running at the csa and your case will be on the new one.
This is the breakdown of maintenance he'll have to pay:
15% for one child
20% for two children
25% for three children

The %age is from his net income, however from the day he rings up to set up the account is the day he should be paying you (theoretically) so your case will be backdated to then, so he may owe you arrears, the csa will expect him to pay them in full if not at 40%.

Hope this helps.

Tryingtosave_2

Hi there

Have recently just gone through this myself. My ex-husband has been paying a set amount for 7 1/2 years and then because he hit financial difficulties the first thing he stopped was the maintenance. I contacted the CSA within two weeks but money is only backdated from when they contact him and not when I contacted them, so I lost two weeks there. I think you would be best contacting them yourself and starting the ball rolling yourself. He could just stop and then decide not to pay you anything for a few months before he contacts them.

Sorry to sound so down, but hope you get sorted soon.

:mad:

child359

Thanks so much for all your replies.

I am fully aware that this may be a threat to me and he won't intend on carrying it through however even if he doesn't I intend to tell him I am doing it myself anyway.

This is THE only thing he has left over me!!! and I would rather be worse off each month (which I have worked out I would be to the tune of £28! a month) than have him threatening me every time he decides to throw his teddies out of the pram:rolleyes:

I expected this coming anyway. His g/f has had got 2 children and gets maintainance from each of the fathers. They are intending on moving in with each other next March so I (quite rightly it appears!) expected her putting her foot down as to how much he pays to me.

Most people I have spoken to ttoday seem to think he wouldn't be able to just cut the payments off however I think they are wrong and he would just have to backdate them when he starts paying again.

He has never missed payment for his son and never objected to paying for his son before. Clearly things have now changed. God help my son. He is no longer a priority in his fathers life:(

I am going to leave the contacting him to agree to him keeping up the payments for the CSA for a week I think. Give him chance to calm down.

Thanks again for all the replies:A :A

aplegjnf

Just browsing this thread, hope you don'tmind me putting in my twopenneth!
I don't think the CSA will make him backdate any private arrangements. In fact the CSA will give him 6wks grace if he completes all their forms promptly!
You could always phone them and informally check, you don't have to give any names or details just to get info. (make sure you go to say no to 0870 to get landline number!)

There are a lot of new rules, and I don't think it is particularly fair. His new family will become known as his priority, and he will ahve to have enough disposable income after supporting them, to make any payment to you. They should be declaring any income she has also though, and if you think they are not, you can always challenge it.
My ex said his new wife's son was a dependant for a yr affter he wasn't, my payments went down to £5pwk. They did do an investigation, but I had to instigate it through the child benefit office, who then couldn't give me the result, so I had to tell CSA when I had checked the investigation was done,then CSA could get details from child benefit... phew! what a palava!!

I hope it works out for you and your son. Try and have the best relationship possible for his sake, I used to work at a contact centre. The children who had manipulative parents knew it! Sometimes the child needs to work out the absent parent's faults for themselves... otherwise the resident parent becomes the baddy! Let their relationship run its course, that may be for the good or the bad.Protect him by all means, but try not to influence your son in what to think. ( it is hard, I confess I have had a hard time not putting my ex down in front of my 4 daughters, but after 10yrs they see him for who he is warts n all- but love him anyway... and keep telling me they loveme more because I let them make up their own mind!)

here's to the future!
p.

child359

I would never put ideas into my son's head or try and influence him about his father.
I am always and will always be positive about his father.
I have advocated more contact with him. It is him who turned it down and last year when he said he didn't want to go to Daddy's anymore I was the one who intervened and sorted it out so he would see him and want to see him.

I am not manipulative in anyway and wouldn't ever put my son in that situation.

Recently my child has self harmed over his fathers input so I think I have a little bit of a right to be p1ssed off at him right now. My son now has to have therapy for it!! He is 5!!!

He doesn't live with this woman yet ......... until next year.

My problem is that I actually believed him when he said my son would always be his priority. I guess I was wrong

aplegjnf

child359 wrote: »

I would never put ideas into my son's head or try and influence him about his father.
I am always and will always be positive about his father.
I have advocated more contact with him. It is him who turned it down and last year when he said he didn't want to go to Daddy's anymore I was the one who intervened and sorted it out so he would see him and want to see him.

I am not manipulative in anyway and wouldn't ever put my son in that situation.

Recently my child has self harmed over his fathers input so I think I have a little bit of a right to be p1ssed off at him right now. My son now has to have therapy for it!! He is 5!!!

He doesn't live with this woman yet ......... until next year.

My problem is that I actually believed him when he said my son would always be his priority. I guess I was wrong

I'm sorry if I came across like I was accusing you, I had no intention of doing that It seems that things are going downhill, and I have seen ok relationships turn into horrendous ones when 'another' has come on the scene, often no fault of resident parent, but it is hard to not get dragged down with it; I was trying to forewarn you, in a way, I guess. No offense intended.:(
I really feel for your son, and you are doing good to get him into some therapy as soon as poss, you have probably saved him years of heartache.
Hope all sorts out soon.
P.
( sorry computer seems to be playing up and the message came thru twice!)

Savvy_Sue

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Loopy_Girl

To be honest, the CSA is snowed under at the moment with the changes that are taking place. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if he goes to them, don't expect this to be done and dusted in a few weeks.:(

I agree with the rule that he will be told to pay 15% of his income. When his g/f children move in the will be taken into consideration so 20% of his net income will be deducted and then 15% of that figure will be due to you as maintenance.