Something Has Gotta Change

Legacy_user

As we sat last night in a bit of an agrument, not with each other but more about the situation we are in I think it dawned on the both of us that something major has gotta change or we aren't going to be together much longer.

Its not the debt that we are in, Infact its minor as we got most of it paid of earlier in the year with a loan from her brother and the repayment is minimum, I think its more the cost of living.

We are in the situation where I am the main earner and I only earn £13K per year, My partner earns £5K, Getting another job etc will not fix the problem as we will loss our tax credits, she can't go back to work full time as she will loss her childcare allowance and we would effectivly be working for nothing as we have no one who would look after our kids for free. Any friends/family we have, I know its pure coincidence but at least one has a good paying job, EG my father is in a min wage job, but my mother is a high up nurse.

I've lost me desire to even go to work, Its just depressing, Come Friday evening we are broke after only getting paid on Friday morning by the time we pay bills/rent etc, we sat last night watching the neighbours go out, we've not had a night out in 3 years, our weekends are spent from Firday night to Monday morning in the house because we have no money to do anything, and its been more or less like this since we got together there's gotta be more to life than this, my partner admitted she'd be better dead, and while I feel the same i'd never admit that, and her saying that makes me feel defective as a male, because I can't support my own.

We live in an average estate, the neighbour on one side is a dental receptionist and lives by herself, the pair on the other, she doesn't work while he works in a local shop, both have been away on holiday, go out at weekend and they couldn't be earning alot more than us and we've never been away anywhere.

We've done the whole picnics in the park, walks around the forest IE all the free stuff in life, but there is only so much of that you can do before it becomes boring. We buy all the cheap nasty food, we cut back as much as we can, I mean at work i've never even been able to have a 40p coffee, or a bag of crisps out of the vending machine, I'm sure my work mates think I am very odd.

The only real way out of this hell I can think of is to have a major accident and perhaps loss a leg or something and get a claim, however I am open to anyother suggestions as life can't continue like this.

lucielle

Hi Nirelandguy, welcome to the boards. Can you post a statement of affairs to see if there can be anything trimmed? I know it may seem as if your neighbours are doing lots of fun things but how do you know they aren't up to their eyeballs in debt and not had their lighbulb moment? Please don't think about having an accident, I know when we had our ligtbulb moment skidding into a tree was awfully tempting. Hopefully some more experienced people will be along with some ideas.
L

Jules

Hi Nirelandguy,
And welcome. I agree with luicelle a SOA is a good idea and yes I bet the neighbours are up to their eyes in debt.
I used to be one of those "neighbours" all the nice things, cars, holidays - although none foreign, electronics..... you name it we bought it. Now just take a look at my sig. So I wouldn't be jealous of them, feel sorry for them maybe!

Everything was bought on credit hence the situation we are in now. We'll be paying it back (according to CCCS) for another 27+ years! If I have anything to do with it, it will be quicker than that.

Get your SOA posted and it will help you focus. It's amazing what savings can be made.

Good Luck and keep posting.
Jules

Bf109

We are in the situation where I am the main earner and I only earn £13K per year, My partner earns £5K, Getting another job etc will not fix the problem as we will loss our tax credits, she can't go back to work full time as she will loss her childcare allowance..

This country is up the creek when people stand to lose money by going to work.

Good luck to you mate.

rutitoottoots

Hi Nirelandguy
I have registered with the forum today just so that I could reply to your post. I am sorry I do not have words of wisdom to offer but I would like to say, having occasionally worked as a secretarial temp for solicitors handling personal injury claims:

"The only real way out of this hell I can think of is to have a major accident and perhaps loss a leg or something and get a claim"

this is not a guaranteed way out of debt or hell. But I suspect you already know that Follow Lucielle's suggestion and I am sure you will get some sensible helpful suggestions from other forum users. The fact that you are on this site means that you are already taking steps to improve things. It will change.

Good luck

carrottopsuk

Is it feasible to visit your mum or one of your relations for a meal once a week or at the weekends? Not only would your mum get to see you & your children but you'd save a little money on food, electricity etc. Also, it may be better than sitting at home by yourselves every night.

Perhaps you could enrol with film first & see if you can try for any of the free films that come up now and again. It may give you a free night out every now and again if you manage to get a couple of tickets. You could take your own drinks/snacks into the cinema to save on costs.

Maybe others can come up with some other ideas. Good luck.

LilacPixie

Nirelandguy.

please try and not pay too much attention to the neighbours. |The chances are they are up to eyeballs in debt and living month to month on credit. they can't keep that up forever.

Have you checked your budget recently?? is there any trimmings to be made that could provide a small saving that over the year could maybe pay for a holiday.

Have you tried looking at the up your income board. Some people on slice the pie claim to be able to make £5 a day, maybe your partner could do that and some other things at home for a little extra money but without needing additional childcare.

pointypenguin

Hi

Sorry to hear about your situation. I know things must be hard but do not give up there is always some sort of solution.

Have you tried looking at the below thread about free mystery dining:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1096351

System

Ok my SOA is as follows



My Pay £800
Partners Pay £340
Tax Credit £400
Child Benefit £125

Total £1665

Out Goings

Rent £400
Childcare £224
Loan £100
Credit Cards £50
Electric £50
Sky £15
Broaband £24.99
Telephone £15
Mobiles £35
Food £200
Diesel £180
Car Tax £15
Car Insurance £25
Oil Heating £80
Payplan £80
T/credit O/P £60
HB / OP £40
Smoking £20

Total £1613.99

These figures are rough but give a general idea. I have higlighted in bold the ones I could change and will do once contracts are up, but smoking because I smoke imported fags its cheaper to smoke than buy Nicorette patches etc,

So thats the situation

elantan

how many kids do you have ?...im thinking the food bill might be able to come down a bit have you tried the os board? they are quite good at getting the figures down for food

lucielle

Can you drop Sky and sin up for Love film. If you go through one of the cashback sites you can earn some dosh. We get 2 dvds for £3.99 a month. Thats our social life.
L