completely devastated about situation

i1189

If your partner's business isn't doing well, could he stop working and look after the baby while you go back to work full time? This could save on childcare costs.

Forgetmenot68

Hi, I promise I sounded and felt like you two months ago when I found this board. The people here are wonderful and wise and will be along with more advice soon. All I can say is don't panic, there is a way round everything and your desperate situation will start to seem more manageable before you know it. It takes courage and work, but you can do it. Post your SOA as soon as you are able (and be prepared to have it ripped to shreds...in a nice way!)

You are NOT alone now you are here!

FMN xx

savingholmes

memebaby wrote: »

the upshot as i sit here tonight is that I have remortgaged twice taking my mortgage from 125k to 180k, i have managed to land myself in 37k of credit card debt and my savings are gone. i am also overdrawn 7k in my bank.

I had a baby a few months ago with my partner and so can only go back to work part time so my income is reduced so servicing my debt is virtually impossible although im managing it at the moment though god knows how. evey day i wake up and all i think about all day is my debt and how i can get through this.

Ive even started looking round my house in a rather manic fashion looking for things i can sell. How crazy am i. Anyone been where I am and can offer some good advice or words of support. Ive never felt so alone in my whole life.

Firstly - you are not the only person to be in this kind of financial "mess". I have in the past allowed my debts to get to around £30K plus twice! I am a professional too. In the past I did big dramatic things to try and resolve the problem - so sold the house and downsized (it wasn't the end of the world - we quite enjoyed it there) also took redundancy etc for a payoff.... However a bit like a crash diet that doesn't solve the underlying problem. This time, I am trying to change ingrained habits - instead of going shopping every day (seriously) I now generally go grocery shopping once a week and on a £5 limit trip on a Saturday. Obviously I don't always stay so on track but that is the general principle.

:money: I think I have saved approx £8K over last year min - mostly in interest but also in insurance costs, utility costs, phone and broadband, bargaining etc. Just thinking differently about money. If you can move your cards to interest free - do!

Recently I have done my first ever car boot sale - I only got £40 but its a start - because of that car boot a friend bought £60 worth of stuff off me and another friend bought a necklace off me, someone else may buy some of my craft stuff. Go to the up your income thread. I made £188 in July approx and have made £240 so far on top of the day job in August. I haven't even tried selling on e-bay yet.

Visit the celebrations board and look at how to do Christmas on a budget - it is possible!

Hope that's some encouragement for you.

inamess200

Hi - well done for posting I know exaclty how you are feeling - I am an accountant (haha - great with other peoples money just not my own) my partner was not good with money but we were ticking along with servicable debt until his back went and I had a suprise baby ( our 3rd child) and suddenly everything caved in - we did not have a mortgage but our home was work related to my husbands job so we lost that so had to find money for rent. Like you i could not go bankrupt and struggled with IVA restrictions and did not tell my family - I felt no one would understand my siblings had houses and savings and all we had were debts - so in desperation i rang payplan and found a forum to post on (not this one but very similar) this got me through the darkest days - and there were alot.

I went back to work fulltime and my husband looked after the children - not ideal as I had always wanted to be a stop at home mum but it has shown my girls (age 11 and 8 ) that mums can work and keep a family!! COuld your husband work from home or in the evenings to allow you to earn. It did take him a few months to realise how desperate things were and i started the payplan dmp on my own as all debts but one were in my sole name (like you I had the credit power!!)

I remember sobbing on the phone to the counseller on more than one occasion but 3 years on we are paying interest is stopped and we have a good life no foreign holidays but we have a tent and the kids get what they need this may not be what they want but that is a different matter!!

I wanted to post so you can see you can come out of the other side evetually and you are not alone.

i am sending big hugs your way - sorry for the long post

Fidget21

Oh love! I can't offer any advice over and above what has already been said, but I just want to add my voice to those of support for you. ((((hugs)))) for you too because I can feel your depair, it comes across in your email.

One thing I will say, is don't blame yourself, this is not just your mess. That means it is also not only your responsibility to sort it out but also your partners too. The two of you need to sit down and work this out together, does he realise what a burden to you financially his business is?

I can't tell you the road from here is a short one, but you've taken the first step and at least you have company for the journey!!

Fidge

smashedbooboo

Hi Memebaby, and welcome to the boards. Please keep posting sweetie. You are not an idiot. So stop thinking that. Now, the profession you are in i know is difficult to do anything drastic. I do know something about this. Are you practising at all hun at the moment. Or are you still on maternity leave. Have you told any of your colleagues about your situation. I would guess not. Chambers are not the best place to tell all. I will pm you with a member from here who is in a similar profession. Not sure what advice she will give you but at least you may get some support hun. And believe me. You would be amazed at how many peeps in the same lline of work are having problems. Trust me you are not alone. Also i am not altogether sure, but have the rules not been changed recently about legals and bankruptcy. I could be wrong. More than likely knowing me. I know there was something about barristers. But not sure if it went as far as solicitors.

Please please hun, keep posting. You have come to the right place.

You will get tons of support on here. And along the way make some lovely new friends.

We are all here for the same reason, all in the preverbial !!!!!!. So let us help you. And please dont be feeling ashamed.

I will pm you now with name. I will also pm this member and let her know you may get in touch

Take care sweetie

Boo x x

Simon_M_2

Hi Memebaby, I truly feel for you. We are in a similar position. I ran my own business for nearly 5 years, had plenty of cash in the bank and didn't have to worry about money.

However business had been slowing down over the past year or so and unfortunatley it is all to easy to prop your lifestyle up with credit cards, loans and overdrafts. Shockingly my finances went from being well in the black to £30k in the red in less than a year :eek:

I can also empathise with your OH as it is all to easy to have a good month with the business and think you will just carry on as "things will get better", when the harsh reality is that once a business is struggling it is very difficult to turn it around. My only advise would be to tell your partner to close the business ASAP and look for a job. I am currently working shifts in a factory, not ideal but I now have a regular source of income.

You also need to speak to someone like the CCCS, they can offer you free advice on your debts.

But please please speak to your OH regarding the business as it is very easy to start to panic and make silly descisions, I for example bought over £30k of stock for a good price thinking I could shift it pretty sharpish, two months after I was still selling it and and ended up loosing almost £10k

I am sure you will be fine, feel free to PM me if you like.

Simon

Edit: Sorry forgot to say my OH is an accountant so is in a similar postion to you.

Yorkshire-Lady_3

I've nothing to really add, but I can sense how deserate and alone you feel.
So I'm sending you love and hugs to help you are you tackle this.

You'll get lots of excellent advice from the folk on here, and you'll soon see there IS a light at the end of your tunnel.

Take care,

Y-L

GettingThingsDone

Hi memebaby and welcome to dfw.

I've not much to add, but you're in a good place here and you'll get lots of good solid advice.

Good luck in taking charge of your finances - and keep posting!

gtd

benbenandme

Welcome to the board, you're not alone, there is always someone around on here day and night You were obviously good with money before you met your partner so therefore you shouldn't have the battles some dfw's have with shopping and spending when not necessary

Like other posters have said please post an soa then you need an on honest and frank chat with your oh, then you can get going on restoring your financial situation, there are tonnes of opportunities to make some money / save some money on these boards, enjoy the ride