Desparately unhappy

Northernbird_2

Hey to you all. I spent 3 hours last night trying to get my computer to work so I could post a message and I still haven't managed it.

I'm having a bad week. I've been transferring my DDs to my new basic account, I've put things on eBay and I even managed to knock some money off my broadband by threatening to leave. I still feel really hopeless. I had a huge argument with OH last night, as I just feel I'm the one doing everything and he's not even trying. I am so tired. I was so upset I slept in the spare room and he left this morning without saying a word. I'm not doing my job properly and I have no-one to talk to.

I'm just really tired, and it's taking all my strength to not sob at my desk.

I'm sorry for the moan, but at the moment I have no-one else, so sorry. I'll probably feel better tomorrow, it's just... I don't know if I'm ever going to sort this out.

$17mma

Northernbird :grouphug:


I am really sorry that you are feeling this way.. truly am. I am sorry you are close to tears, if you were in my office I would give you a huge hug and get you a :coffee: .. then we would talk.

I know that working out finances is stressful, but it will work better if both of you are working together, so when you get home tonight try having another talk with the OH. He is more than likely feeling just like you and he may seem laid back but I am sure he is feeling the pressure just the same.

Chin up flower and PM me if you need to talk....

:grouphug:

Edinburghlass_2

One step at a time Northernbird and so far you have taken three, so well done you :T

You will sort it, honest

ceegee

Go on......a good old moan can work wonders! You are feeling despondent because of last night and this morning. When you see OH later on, give him a hug and a kiss. Any chance that you can give him a quick phone call now....just to get things back on a nice footing?

aliasojo

You WILL get there. You're just having a bad time just now. It will pass.

Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. Don't know if it was God's doing, or Mother Nature's ....but someone seemed to have a bit of a sadistic streak when they made this so!

It's a very common problem for two people not to be at the same place at the same time. You're going through a huge period of change, it's maybe that your OH just isn't of the same mindset as you yet....but he'll catch up given some encouragement. Try not to nag, you want him to come around so you are both singing from the same songsheet. Unfortunately some people need 'managed' to get them doing what you want.

You don't need the added stress of having to deal with relationship probs as well as debt ones so try to talk to him instead of leaving the situation to fester.

The way you feel and the things you are going through have been said by many other people before you who have been in a similar position. Things have got better for them and they will for you.

Try to hang in there and focus on the more positive aspects. You've already got money off your b/b. That's certainly worth feeling happy about.

If you keep thinking about the negative things, you will just feel down. Try (I know it's hard) to think about the positives, it will help to lift your mood.)

Good luck......sending strong vibes your way.

aliasojo

Good grief, folk type fast around here...there were no replies when I started.

ceegee

That's what I thought! I imagined that I was going to be the first to offer Northernbird some comfort!! Pipped at the post.....we're a bunch of softies!

For you, Northernbird :grouphug: :coffee: :hello: :wave:

Northernbird_2

Thank-you for your messages. I'll see if I can give OH a ring later, he can be pretty stubborn but it's worth a try.

I guess tomorrow is another day. I'll keep in touch.

Ember999

Northernbird wrote:

Thank-you for your messages. I'll see if I can give OH a ring later, he can be pretty stubborn but it's worth a try.

I guess tomorrow is another day. I'll keep in touch.

Tomorrow is another day hon, and believe me, it will get better! I would say the most important thing you should work on right now is patching things up with your other-half. Adding relationship stress to financial stress can sometimes be too much to bear and that is why you may be feeling ovewhelmed. Give your guy a call, tell him you love him and soften him up a little. Life can be hard, too hard sometimes, but often when things seem too much it's a good idea to look forward, imagine a year has passed and remember that in a years time this will all be over and life will be a lot better.The important things in life don't cost money, your loved one's, your health. Try to count your blessings and see that things aren't quite as hopeless as they seem. Grab yourself a coffee, keep calm and try to work through things one at a time.

We are all here to offer help and support, so lean on us as long as you need to.

Sending you hugs from across the miles,

Ember xxx :grouphug: :hello: :grouphug:

southernscouser

NB,

You've done brilliantly so far. You're saving money on your broadband :T , you've got ebay sales going on :T , your sorting out your new account :T and you are confronting your problems head on :T

However for it all to work you are gonna need to get O/H on your side. Does he realise the debt problems you have. Maybe he is to ashamed to admit it. You've had your lightbulb moment you just need to encourage his along.

Have you posted a state of affairs before. If not have a look at the thread below and post back here.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

Maybe if you introduced him to this site. Believe me once you get started on here it is very difficult to stop!

tattooed_lady

Hi Northernbird :grouphug:

As the others have said you've already done really well. :T

I remember when I was first in debt years ago now, that me and OH would argue because he just didn't understand how much debt we were in and how we would have to change the way we lived and thought about money. Thankfully, he slowly began to understand what was going on and he did change.

When your OH realises how strongly this is making you feel I'm sure he will do as much as he can to help.

Take care xx