Getting children to eat and not waste

genieuk

Your childrenre still quite young and will behaving growth spurts probably why they eat you out of house and home some days. I do understand where you are coming from I have 4darlings? As soon as they could feed themselves they seemed to stop eating and liking things they hd previously.

Don't want to teach you to suck eggs as the saying goes, but try and staycalm at meal times I only have one meal on offer but tend to put it serving dishes in the centre so they can serve themselves. Also remember how small their stomachs are sounds silly but saw program years ago where the expert put everything the child was being given to eat in a bag and held it upto the child. The bag was nearly as full as its head. If they have fed well one day they may not need as much the next. Could also try just a teaspoon of each food on their plate if they eat that congratulate them and offer them some more.

If you have time ask them what they like, let them have some within reason and get them to help you. Mine aren't big vegetable eaters but absolutely love their fruit, so sometimes they have fruitsalads for lunch.


HTH

FairyElephant_2

Rikki wrote: »

FairyElephant I like the double helpings of posts too.

I'm such a generous person you see! LOL!!!

Sorry - my computer often seems to do this (and I don't think it is a case of bad worker blaming tools at the mo!) - it started happening when we got 'upgraded' at work - when I log in from home it doesn't happen (but it is much slower) - it just seems to 'hiccough' every so often.....

2cats1kid

I'll just reiterate the thing that children need to try stuff a lot to tolerate it (and hopefully eventually like it).

DD has always eaten peas, carrots and sweetcorn, but other veg have been a struggle. We started with broccoli with a tiny bit on her plate, and it had to be eaten. She could have ketchup with it, but down the hatch it had to go. We had tears, strops, hours sitting staring at it at the dining table, the works, but we persevered and gradually the fuss got less and less, and now she will even very occasionally have seconds of brocolli. I did have to make the deal with her at the time that if I gave her brocolli I had to give her carrots as well!

As we cracked one, we went onto the next one. So we went through green beans, then runner beans, then cauliflower and now we are working on cabbage. And as we have gone on, she has accepted the more recent veg without a murmur, and I've increased gradually the amount she is eating ("but that is the smallest floret there was".......honest!).

In fact she has got so good at it when we went to a Japanese restaurant she tried the seaweed and liked it (she had mine - I thought it was foul stuff LOL).

So even if there are tears and tantrums to start with it really is worth persevering!

genieuk

Sorry 2cats I just can't do that. My father made me sit at a table until I had eaten all my food regardless of how long it took or how cold the food beame. My worst nightmare was liver and onions but down the hatch it had to go.

Even now at 37 I start to retch at cold food, I am strict with mine as in they get nothing else to eat there are no other choices on the menu. But if they try just a little then that is ok To me having tantrums at the dinner table just makes it awful for everyone then you start to expect it each mealtime. If mine cause a fuss and start to mess around they are asked to leave the table, sometimes they come back to try again.

morganb

I had 2 years of DS1 being fussy until I saw the light. Never again. DS1 frequently tells DS2 'Eat what's on your plate, this isn't a hotel!' The problem I've had lately is that they DAWDLE so much when eating that dinner can take about 45 minutes!!! So I've now brouight in the 15 minute rule. 15 minutes to eat their dinner; and if they don't touch it in that time because they're chatting, then it still gets taken away when the 15 minutes are up ... two days of this is all it took. Little monkeys.

2cats1kid

genieuk wrote: »

Sorry 2cats I just can't do that. My father made me sit at a table until I had eaten all my food regardless of how long it took or how cold the food beame. My worst nightmare was liver and onions but down the hatch it had to go.

Even now at 37 I start to retch at cold food, I am strict with mine as in they get nothing else to eat there are no other choices on the menu. But if they try just a little then that is ok To me having tantrums at the dinner table just makes it awful for everyone then you start to expect it each mealtime. If mine cause a fuss and start to mess around they are asked to leave the table, sometimes they come back to try again.

We actually only probably had a big tantrum once, and then it diminished quite quickly as she realised she wasn't getting anywhere. I know where you are coming from with the liver thing though, I can remember the dinner lady standing over me at school till I ate it - must have just about emptied the salt pot onto it to disguise the taste! Anyway, as I say she sometimes has seconds of broccoli now, so I can't have traumatised her too much!

mrcow

genieuk wrote: »

Sorry 2cats I just can't do that. My father made me sit at a table until I had eaten all my food regardless of how long it took or how cold the food beame. My worst nightmare was liver and onions but down the hatch it had to go.

Mine used to shove our faces in it.

I hate wasted food too. There's a strict rule though.....if you don't eat it, that's all there is. I stick to it and try and not get flustered if everyone is turning their noses up but it is stressful if you've taken an hour to cook a meal! I find if one of them is eating then the others will tend to follow suit.

I do tell them there's no pudding if you don't make an effort with your food which seems to work (nothing like a bit of bribery to speed things up :eek:)

Lyndsay_21

i also hate cooking two meals so my two either eat it or go hungry, i dont really do 'kiddy' food unless me and OH are having something spicy, i am knackered or i know they really wont like it.
If i get the 'i dont like it' from dd when i know she's had it before and has liked it i ignore her and tell her she does like it and to try it and she will normally realise she likes it and eats it.
If its something they have never had before i make sure they try a proper mouthful of it and if they really dont like it i will do them something different.

A lot of times i get the 'i dont like it' just becasue of the look of it.

pandora205

Hi - just to add my perspective. I'm a psychologist and come across this all the time with children of this age. It is the downside of children gaining independence - they learn to say no and refuse things. Parents can often get very worried when their children don't eat, so they start to offer alternatives, sometimes justifying very bizarre diets (such as only biscuits) because the children have to eat something.

The bottom line is that (at this age) children won't starve. They are being stubborn and making a choice not to eat hoping that they will get something else. This is very much a 'developed world' problem: children in third world countries don't refuse food.

Having said all that there are 'sensitive periods' for introducing new foodstuffs, earlier is generally better. If children's diet is mainly 'children's food' they are unlikely to suddenly enjoy salad and grilled fish, etc. Some children never learn to chew tougher foods, and reject meat and crunchy foods for this reason, probably reinforcing the attraction of 'fasts foodstuffs' which tend to be easy to eat. So give a mixed healthy diet as soon as possible - and limit 'special foods' for little ones. (Look at the lunches in French schools and you will see this works).

So, my advice would be (as others have suggested) stick to your guns and don't offer other foods. And do your best to remain calm even if they refuse and have tantrums (even if you feel it). Showing you are angry or upset can give a certain sort of reinforcement, which isn't very healthy! Children shouldn't be forced to eat - in fact it is impossible to do this. They do have the right to refuse.

The idea of a sticker chart may work with an older child but avoid bribing. (The difference is that rewards come after without pleading before. Don't get into bargaining - it just teaches them to negotiate, a useful skill but not one for the dinner table!)

Last bit of advice is to involve young children in preparing and putting out food, cutlery etc. when there is time, using the proper crockery etc as soon as they can sensibly manage (usually about 2-3 years). It makes them feel grown up and included, and gives a sense of achievement in eating food they have prepared.

genieuk

All good advice on here as usual. Our kids are all individual and I know mine haven'tly always done as the books have said.

My youngest DD still hasn't learnt she is 8, every mealtime.
'Mum whats for tea?'
-'Food'
'What food'
-'Hot food'
'Muuummm'