A 22 yr old's right to enter the family home?

hethmar

Well, from a mums point of view, I do understand how your mum feels. I have been in a similar position. OH chucked son out and it nearly broke my heart. Amazingly and thank god, he pulled himself around and he is now back with us and much more compliant and, dare I say it, loving.

My heart goes out to your mum. I understand what others are saying but he is your mums boy, whatever he says or does - a mother's love is totally without qualification. Do try to comfort her as she will need that. I hope one day she will be able to feel she has done her best for him.

Debt_Free_Chick

vaksam wrote: »

A text he sent to my mum yesterday stated that he'd be 'breaking in to collect my belongings and then calling the police to absolve myself of any responsibility'.

Excellent - the Police will be able to solve that crime very quickly with such a candid confession

Someone is feeding him information which, in other circumstances, might be appropriate. If he actually owned the house - alone or jointly with another person - then the Police will not be interested if he breaks in. You cannot be guilty of breaking and entering your own property. I know, I've done it (twice, last December )

But it's not his property, so he WILL be committing a crime.

I really think you should contact the Police on the non-emergency number and let them know the situation. Should the situation become heated, they will then have been pre-warned of it and it might mean that they can respond more quickly.

Good luck

Alleycat

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

Excellent - the Police will be able to solve that crime very quickly with such a candid confession

Someone is feeding him information which, in other circumstances, might be appropriate. If he actually owned the house - alone or jointly with another person - then the Police will not be interested if he breaks in. You cannot be guilty of breaking and entering your own property. I know, I've done it (twice, last December )

But it's not his property, so he WILL be committing a crime.

I really think you should contact the Police on the non-emergency number and let them know the situation. Should the situation become heated, they will then have been pre-warned of it and it might mean that they can respond more quickly.

Good luck

That's an excellent suggestion. The police will only usually respond as an emergency if there is a potential breach of the peace and so I would assume they would appreciate being forewarned. They may even be able to offer some advice on the situation.

Let us know how it all goes, vaksam.

Gorgeous_George

silvercar wrote: »

Something has gone very wrong when a jobless 22 year old is not welcome at his mum's house!

Yes, something has gone wrong.

It might be differnet if he was jobless through redundancy but, on the limited evidence so far, he chooses to remain jobless and to live with his trollop at mum's home. So very wrong. He needs a short sharp shock to kick him into action.

His mother would be failing in her duty if she allowed him to leech off her forever.

GG

poppysarah

The mother should also check how much stuff shows on her own credit check (experian/equifax too) and try to dissociate herself from his financial mess.
I'm not sure how easy it is - but throwing him out the house is the first step in a long process.

vaksam

Many thanks once again for your replies, and apologies that it's been a few days since I've been back here. Succumbed to the lurgy that had been threatening all weekend and spent most of BH Monday in bed, before dragging myself into and back from work yesterday before collapsing once more into my sickbed!

Met up with Mum for lunch today to get another update. She's contacting citizens advice in respect of finding out how to disassociate herself and her address from the debts he seems to be accruing at a frightening rate (in the past couple of days a red final demand from Eon and a council tax bill have arrived pertaining to my brothers former residence in Nottingham), and she's forwarding any post that arrives to his girlfriend's parents address. He turned up on Sunday to collect his 'necessities' - amusingly, these comprised his big screen tv, bank cards, bank statements and playstation 2) and the rest of his stuff is being packed up ready for him to collect, on a day of my mums choosing from the doorstep.

Mum is being amazingly strong - she's let my brother get away with a lot over the years - but is still having the occasional wobble and I'm trying not to get too annoyed with her for this, after all it must be very, very hard on her to have the son she's tried her best to help turn around and treat her like this. Although she did also say that every time she goes out she's afraid that the house will be broken into when she gets home I passed on the hint about letting the police know just in case so I'm hoping she did this today when she got in.

Once again, many thanks for all your replies and I will keep you posted!

SquatNow

If she want to be really nice, get her to write up a note saying she is evicting him immediately and making him homeless.

He can then approach the council re joining the massive queue for council housing.

Most likely they'll stuff him in a B&B which at least ensure he won't be trying to move back home in a few weeks when his GFs mum kicks him out as well, or he splits wih his GF or whatever.

vaksam

I suspect that if I suggested this one at the moment that mum would say that that's one kindness too far and a waste of a stamp! I do get your point though, and it's not a bad idea as the last place he deserves to be is back home after the way he's behaved.

Ironically enough, he pulled a fairly similar stunt when he was 17 though without accruing the debt as he was still at school, or the threats. That time mum did sit him down and say look, if you really feel you can't live here anymore I will help you research council housing or dss accomodation. He turned his nose up at it saying 'I'd never live in a B&B!'