Could do with a cunning plan

lyric_grace

Oh just seen yoru entertainment comment! Try a free NHS stop smoking helpline/group etc. That would def give you extra money to throw at your debts. Just think £1200 extra pounds a year!!

rchrisp

does your girlfriend work? who pays for her food etc?

southernbelle

I can never believe the amount of money people spend on cigarettes. Just be aware that you could make a big dent in your debt if you gave up. And there's the health benefits on top of that. Something to think about. Do you really enjoy smoking that much?

tbasterisk

rchrisp wrote: »

does your girlfriend work? who pays for her food etc?

She does work, she actually earns roughly the same as me. We share the food costs. Sometimes I pay more, sometimes she does, but I think I spend around £100 per month - may seem steep, but she likes exotic vegetables etc. I'm trying to convert her to beans on toast

rchrisp

she really should be contributing towards the gas/electric, council tax... its all part of being a couple really.

tbasterisk

southernbelle wrote: »

I can never believe the amount of money people spend on cigarettes. Just be aware that you could make a big dent in your debt if you gave up. And there's the health benefits on top of that. Something to think about. Do you really enjoy smoking that much?

I know I know - you sound like my doctor

I am really thinking about it. Having said that - yes I do enjoy it. Sounds weird I know. However, as we've already discovered, this is no time for hobbies!

southernbelle

rchrisp wrote: »

she really should be contributing towards the gas/electric, council tax... its all part of being a couple really.

I see your point, but if that's the case then so is deciding where to live. Just a thought.

You seem to be putting a lot of blame on the OH (and I don't mean that to sound accusatory). Will she be supporting of you trying to get out of debt?

Edited to add: Sorry to nag about the smoking! It's a pet-hate of mine and to be honest I'm jealous of anyone who has enough money to smoke, LOL.

rchrisp

southernbelle wrote: »

I see your point, but if that's the case then so is deciding where to live. Just a thought.

i agree, its just a subject im quite passionate about. i carried my ex for 6 years and it got me into a hell of a lot of debt i am still nowhere near out of, 6 months later.

tbasterisk

southernbelle wrote: »

I see your point, but if that's the case then so is deciding where to live. Just a thought.

You seem to be putting a lot of blame on the OH (and I don't mean that to sound accusatory). Will she be supporting of you trying to get out of debt?

Edited to add: Sorry to nag about the smoking! It's a pet-hate of mine and to be honest I'm jealous of anyone who has enough money to smoke, LOL.

I don't wish to sound unappreciative of my OH; I'm lucky to have one. And the debt problems have mostly been self-inflicted at some point. I'm just trying to get out of debt as much and as quickly of possible, but everytime I think I'm doing alright, it's another holiday or another designer handbag she wants for her birthday etc, and I'm struggling to say no. I don't see her a a cause of the problem, but it frustrates me that I'm expected to live beyond my means.

southernbelle

I don't wish to sound unappreciative of my OH; I'm lucky to have one. Really? You really think like that? I'm sure that's not true at all.

And the debt problems have mostly been self-inflicted at some point.

I'm just trying to get out of debt as much and as quickly of possible, but everytime I think I'm doing alright, it's another holiday or another designer handbag she wants for her birthday etc, and I'm struggling to say no.
She'll have to do without. If all she wants from you is the designer handbags etc - is that someone you want to be with?

I don't see her a a cause of the problem, but it frustrates me that I'm expected to live beyond my means.
Maybe she expects it because she doesn't know what is within your means? I'm assuming she doesn't know how much debt you have.
No-one can make you live beyond your means but yourself.


I get the feeling you feel a bit "down on yourself" maybe at the moment?
PM me if you want. It just seems like you think you need to spend money on her to keep her. And that's not healthy for your confidence or your bank balance. I'm guilty of doing this sometimes. I sometimes have to give myself a slap and tell myself that my OH would still be with me if I had nothing.