Girlfriends secret debt

whereschris

I found out yesterday that my girfriend has been hiding debt from me. :mad:

I have started to take action and on her behalf and would like any advice or reassurance that I'm doing right.

She has a £4000 credit card, £200 store card, £3000 bank loan through HSBC and is £400 over her overdraft limit with HSBC and is being charged heavily.

So far i've got her to transfer the credit and store card ballance to Vrigins 15 month 0% card and she has been accepted. She has opened a new current ac with Alliance and Leicester. This has a 0% overdraft for twelve months - I figure she can use this to pay back the extortionate HSBC one back and clear the A&L one at no extra cost. I think she should close the HSBC account as they are totally ripping her off and she pays £13 a month for the privelage!

She earns about £1150 a month, take home. After commitments (car, rent, minimum payments and loan) and food, she is left with 3 - 400 quid a month. She will use this to start to clear the debt.

IS this the right thing to do? I am completely in charge of this now so can hopefully get things straight though it will take a few years.

Any advice would be great.

Quietgirl

Hi Chris,

I am no expert but looks pretty good to me and what a great boyfriend you are to help her sort it all out.

Suze4Dan2007

Hi Chris =]

I have to say you sound like a great boyfriend aswell, keep up the good work! I'm in a similar position to your girlfriend and im too afraid to speak to my boyfriend about my problems, although he has a vague idea.

I think you are doing a great job though (Y)

x

greeniegirl

Yes, very supportive of you..i agree with the moves you've made to date (financially)

However in my experience, there's little long term benefit for taking charge of someone's life. Everyone needs to learn budgeting skills for themselves and this is a great learning opportunity for her. She needs to get onto the website herslef and educate herself re finances.

I know you mean well but taking over is not a good move. Her debts are her responsibility and while you can be supportive and give all the advice in the world, taking over is not going to help her.
What's going to happen when you stop doing this? if she's learned nothing the same situation could occur again! maybe you both should have a rethink and come up with a more balanced approach.That's my opinion anyway.I think a more "team" approach rather than you being the knowledgable one is better for the two and the sense of achievement she will get when things get under control will be great.
It is nice to see how committed you are to your girlfriend and that she felt she could come to you for help. hope all works out

blackclouds

Good man, I helped my ex out of debt, who would have thought that 4 years later I would be the one on verge of bankruptcy.

One tip, make sure the Virgin CC is set up for minimum payment by direct debit. I missed a payment by one day and immediately went from 0% interest to 22.9% interest - all because they changed my payment date by 5 days and I didnt notice untill it was too late

whereschris

Thanks for all your speedy replies and the warning on the minimum payment - i'll be sure that that is sorted!

As for me taking over - I do feel like a bit of a control freak! I am being very careful to include and inform her at every step of the way. I could afford to bail her out but am not going to - the idea being that she should learn a harsh lesson.

Does anyone have any ideas if the loan could be better dealt with. It has a 13% interest which sounds a bit high to me

Thanks again!

:T

Horace

To help your gf get a hold of her spending ask her to keep a spending diary where she notes down everything that she buys.

If she has stuff that she no longer uses or wears, get her to stick it on ebay or do a carboot.

greeniegirl

whereschris wrote: »

As for me taking over - I do feel like a bit of a control freak! I am being very careful to include and inform her at every step of the way. I could afford to bail her out but am not going to - the idea being that she should learn a harsh lesson.

:T

my questions answered, i hope she appreciates you!

Bone_Idle

I think it's great that you're doing this - I'd just echo greeniegirl's advice and suggest you both talk about how she got into the situation in the first place. But good on you!
:beer:

GeorgeUK

When closing an account, you can sometimes be offerred an incentive to keep the card open. 0% or life of balance (LOB - low interest)

Most creditcard promotions will only allow CC to CC transfers, but virgin treat a money transfer the same way. If it is not too late to do so (you may only have 30 days from opening the account) can you see if the cards you cleared will give you a promotional offer (LOB) to mot close the account and transfer this to Virgin, then this money with virgin you can hopefully transfer to your current account to clear the loan? The timescale is probably way too tight though.

OberonSH

I agree with the previous posters - you can lead a horse to water etc.

Be careful of taking over, and her simply letting you run her life, and then her not taking it on board. Maybe make some changes in your life too, make her feel like it's not just her pulling in the belt.

Otherwise well done for bing supportive. Don't forget to factor in the transfer charges if there are any, and make sure you plan to see if the 0% will last the lifetime of the debt - if not make a note of when she has to look for another deal. Ebay & Amazon will be her new best friend lol!

Hs she worked out how she got to this place, and whether or not she's likely to get back there?