Waxing/liming Old Oak Units

Hi, after scouring this forum I can't seem to find an answer to my question. I hope somebody can help me. I have a very good quality kitchen - american red oak, however it is now 21 years old and looking a bit drab! I don't want to ruin it with painting however, is there maybe a process that can be done to maybe lighten the grain? Of course I know it will need a light sanding but I suppose what I want to do is end up with a limed oak effect with maybe a wax or something? Thank you for your thoughts.
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