randomly paranoid other half?!

[Deleted User]

Not so much money saving I know but last night we were all round at the house having a bit of a celebration because some friends of ours have just secured a new house and move in tommorow. My boyfriend gets in a mood with me and would not tell me why, which annoyed me some what. Anyway it turned out he thought he heard kissing noises and just assumed I was cheating on him even though I have never cheated nor given any cause for him to think I would cheat. In the year we have been together he has never acted like this before until yesturday and his excuse was that his ex cheated so he thought I would. So to summerise he doesn't really trust me, I don't want to chuck him straight off (although if he continues to act this way I may have too). Any advice as to how can we work through this?

Hardup_Hester

I think there are 2 options, counselling or dump him, don't give in to his paranoia or he will get worse. This is the voice of experience speaking, not just a random opinion.

ameliarate

Was he drunk? How many people were there? Where were the "kissing noises" coming from? Are you a bit of a flirt?
All very odd.

[Deleted User]

we were all a bit drunk and I have no idea where the kissing noises were coming from, everyone was in the lounge and I did not notice any kissing. I am not a flirt.

ameliarate

drinkupretty wrote: »

we were all a bit drunk and I have no idea where the kissing noises were coming from, everyone was in the lounge and I did not notice any kissing. I am not a flirt.

Then it is plain weird .

If he has never done this before with you I think you need to have a long conversation with him about what made him come to this strange conclusion. It is true that when you have been cheated on you can be somewhat paranoid, but normally you would at least need something to set that off and if you were all in the same room there couldn't have been anything.

belfastgirl23

Has he apologised to you and admitted that he was an idiot? If so I'd be inclined to let it go but make it really clear that it's totally unacceptable (to quote supernanny )

If he does it again though I would be wanting him to get some help...either with you or alone.

**edit** just a thought, was he unusually drunk or drinking something he doesn't normally drink? I know my DH cannot drink tequila, he turns into an a**e and if he insists on drinking it I immediately leave. My mothers DH is the same with brandy

melancholly

it might be best to find out more about his ex - obviously it's rubbish that he didn't trust you, but everyone comes with some sort of baggage from old relationships. as long as he apologises and you get some idea of where this came from, then you should be able to move on. sometimes it really does take a long time to get over a bad relationship ending, so don't be too hasty to dump him for it (as long as you have a good talk about it and he becomes clear that judging you based on his ex's behaviour isn't fair).

[Deleted User]

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Has he apologised to you and admitted that he was an idiot? If so I'd be inclined to let it go but make it really clear that it's totally unacceptable (to quote supernanny )

If he does it again though I would be wanting him to get some help...either with you or alone.

**edit** just a thought, was he unusually drunk or drinking something he doesn't normally drink? I know my DH cannot drink tequila, he turns into an a**e and if he insists on drinking it I immediately leave. My mothers DH is the same with brandy

Yes he did apologis alot and kept saying how much he loves me but of course I am still very upset about what he said because it really hurt. We were drinking wine, same stuff we normally drink.