Any foster carers about?

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart

Our niece moved in with us this week after having an unfortunate time with her mother. She's 13.

It feels very surreal (we're only 24!) and while we are delighted to have her, we're also feeling rather overwhelmed. Social Services have been about as useful as a potato at a tea party - because the mother is amicable to the move, they don't want to know, despite past abuse. We are also feeling a bit nervous about the financial implications; we get no help bar child benefit and a bit of tax credit, and teenagers aren't cheap! The mother has offered maintanence but she's heading for bankruptcy, so we don't feel we can count on that.

For those who have fostered, or adopted even - how do you get over the worry that you won't be good enough? How are things working out? Any advice to offer at all?

thatgirlsam

wow- you should be very proud of yourselves!
sorry i don't have any financial advice but be prepared that she is going to feel possibly angry and may take it out on the people trying to help her, as in you..

well done and i do hope it turns out well.. thank god there are people like you who care enough!

trudie15

Keep on at Social Services but as there are no current child protection concerns at her Mums this is classed as a private foster arrangement - I think.

Well done though, good luck with Social Services.

Savvy_Sue

Sometimes the phrase 'good enough parenting' is used with mums (and dads) who are feeling very doubtful of their ability to care for their offspring.

I think you should grab hold of it too.

You're not going to get everything right - no-one does with a teenager! - but you're going to give it your best shot. but you don't HAVE to get everything right to be 'good enough' - and you can already see areas where you'll do better than her mum has managed, for whatever reason.

To keep this financial, you're probably not going to get free school meals, but ask anyway, also if your niece is traveling more than 3 miles to school you may get free travel. Would be worth asking the school about help with trips etc if things are tight.

Also I'd suggest making sure that your niece knows what support / counselling is available through school if she feels she needs it.

Good luck!