When you have family members who have lots of money...

want2bfree84

such as your own father with about £200k sitting in the bank, no mortgage, paid for other daughter to go through uni .... wouldn't you think he may help me? I am only in debt because I left a violent relationship and went back to Uni to better myself....he can see me in such a mess and won't help:mad:

I know I shouldn't expect to be bailed out, but a bit of help would go a long way...I know if either of my 2 children were in trouble like this, I would damn well help. It's not like I was purposely stupid with my money:mad:

Rant over:mad:

cantcope

You dont say whether you have you asked for help and been refused or whether you are waiting for an offer of help.

immoral_angeluk

It doesn't seem fair sometimes does it? Have you actually asked him for help? Or even just a 0% loan from him?

MissKJ

You won't feel the same way when you get a grip of your situation though. In fact I bet you have a far greater sense of achievement when you do. No one ever said life was fair anyway. Perhaps he thinks he is teaching you some kind of lesson in life? have you talked about your previous relationship with him, and your plans for the future? Did he disapprove of it, and perhaps thinks "I told you so" or was he supportive? It all makes a huge difference to his attitude with his own money. I must admit, even if I won the lottery, there are some family members I wouldn't give to (although not close family) just because of the way they have behaved with money and responsibility in the past.

DONT GET ME WRONG, I am not suggesting you are like that at all, it is very brave to leave a relationship and be left to start again, but not every one will have the same take on the situation if you see what I mean.

Better to have no money, and the security of not being in a violent relationship, than in it with money. I hope you will look back, with the help of people on here, and think, I sorted it myself, I am self sufficient and rely on no-one.

want2bfree84

Thanks everyone, I am so glad I've found this place I really am

I have asked him to help me and been turned down.

I got made redundant from my job the same time as leaving my violent marriage so was a bad year. They are so disapointed I left that company, so dispaointed I didn't follow that career (i hated it). I'm going into teaching and am working as a TA at the moment and love it.

Yet my sister who has done everything 'perfectly' gets anything she asks for:mad:

milliemonster

I think its unfair to treat you and your sister differently, but it would be so easy if your dad did help you out for you to get into debt again, so just concentrate on sorting your life out hun and you never know he may reward you when you come out the other side xx

MissKJ

They are trying to prove a point. Now it is time for you to do the same. Don't ask again, but give them little snippets of your positive progress. They will come round and start showing you more respect, but then you won't need their money, just their appology for not suporting you!

MissKJ

By the way, please dont blame your sister, she may be able to help you soon even if it just cheap nights in with a bottle of wine and helping you find bargains and budget!

GhostHunter_3

Hi

I just wanted to say good luck.

My Dad once offered to lend me a loan before I even asked him but not only did it come with a formal contract (quite right I agree) but 2 A4 pages of clauses to go with it such as my husband getting rid of his playstation and getting a 2nd job instead of wasting his time! Needless to say after much thought and worry I declined the offer. Now 10 years later I cant ask him as he has no spare money and is recovering from heart surgerey and both him and my mum are a couple of years into retirement and struggling themselves. If only I had the money now to GIVE TO them no strings attatched just a thankyou for putting up with me and putting me up all those years! I would do it without any consideration! Unfortunately I am again facing financial troubles myself and this time have no one to offer to bail me out so have to stand on my own 2 feet.

Big hugz and best of luck.

:beer:

SingleSue

My parents paid for both my brother and sister to have driving lessons - I paid for my own.

My parents also paid for both my brother and sister to get set up in their homes (rented) - we did it ourselves.

The reason? I am seen as the sensible, responsible one out of the children who is also fiercely independent and they thought it would offend me if they offered.

I am, for the same reason, the executor of their wills when they do pass away.

I'm not jealous and they are right.... I would have reacted badly at the time at the suggestion that I was not coping with things.

I have also had cause to ask them for a few 'favours' over the last year with regards to money when things have gone wrong (car and cooker went bang!) and they were only to happy to help but only once I had asked (so as not to offend me) and being the responsible one, I paid it all back very quickly.

Deep_In_Debt

It's a difficult situation. My parents are incredibly wealthy and I'm not! They've helped me a lot in the past - they did help me big time buy my house so that I only have a £20k mortgage. However, my brother got no financial assistance from them at all. He's always had good jobs (he's a doctor) so they felt he never needed the money but it has caused problems between us. I've always had average paid jobs (I didn't get the brains!) but I've just had a lot of bad luck and being rubbish with money which has left me in financial dire straits.

I don't feel that I can ask my parents for money for my debts as they've done loads for me but I do get a lot of support from them in all sorts of ways and I feel that if I let them pay my debts, I would never learn the hard way, which I am now.

I do understand how you feel though.