Feeling sad

lita

Hi all, I really need to write some feelings down due to my uncle passing away yesterday afternoon.
I feel the need to just talk to anyone that is willing to listen because unfortunatly the only people i can talk to would get very upset and i really think they are upset enough without me adding to it.
He was very ill for the last 2 weeks but there was a chance he would make it. he passed away during an operation on his heart. I am finding it really hard to get it into my head that he is no longer with us.
My head is thinking things that i really dont want going through my head and i am getting really upset by these thoughts hence why i am still awake.
I am absolutly shattered from what has gone on today but still cannot sleep. I am trying really hard to remember him as the lovely happy man he was but then it goes to imagining him the way he is at the moment.
i am crying as i write this because i cant believe he has gone. he was a fantastic man cared for by so many people. if i wrote everything that was going through my head it would just be repeats of what have already written above. I havent had to deal with losing anyone in my adulthood so am finding it really difficult to cope at the moment. i know these feelings will fade as it is still raw at the moment but could really just do with having a good rant and rave as he was such a great man, only 43 years old and he didnt deserve to go. thanks for listening

Jollygiantswife

Hi, didn't want to read and run and I hope you're now reading this after a little rest.

I am so sorry for your loss, everything you're feeling is completely normal and these feelings will change over the coming days and weeks. Of course your feelings are raw and will remain so for a time - but things will get slightly easier in time.

Now is not the time for being brave, you're grieving so allow yourself to do so.

Take care and big ((((((hugs))))))

elona

I did not want to read and run either so wanted to send you a hug.

I lost my dad two years ago tomorrow and you never forget but the hurt does get less raw.

Sometimes just crying together can help when there are no words.

ameliarate

I am sorry for your loss. It is so hard but it does get easier over time. Once you have had the funeral and you can talk to other people who cared about him and remember the good stuff about his life you will be on the road.
How sad would it be if you were not sad?

lita

Thank you all for your kind words, i managed to get a kip early hours of the morning and am feeling a bit better now. Still a bit tearful but i know somewhere he is saying to "cheer up chuck" lol

Cinny91

I'm glad you're feeling abit better. I know this sounds cheap and cliche but it will get better as time passes. Indulge yourself in being upset, you'll feel better for it in the long run. I'm truely sorry for your lost, it's been years since my great gran passed away and I still get upset sometimes and miss her something awful. My thoughts are with you.

tazz233

I am also sorry for your loss and wanted to send hugs!

I am one of those very unfortunate people who has lost a lot of her family- I've had to say goodbye to both my parents, my mum most recently lost her battle to cancer in january and I am only in my early 20's. The grief is still raw but it does get easier.

All I can advise is to wallow in your grief, cry when you want to cry, everything you are feeling is totally normal. Also, talk and hug your family- they also probably want to talk about your uncle but are afraid of upsetting you more!

Don't worry about trying to remember your uncle when he was happy and healthy now- I promise with a bit of time, you will only remember the great memories!

I hope I've helped a bit, feel free to pm me if you want to talk more or come back on this thread and update us all on how you are feeling.

abbecer

Big hugs to you and your family.

Rebecca x

Sailor_Sam

Hi lita, sorry for your loss, it's so difficult when you need to talk but don't want to upset others. My Mum died last year, when we the crem, my niece, aged 4, said 'is this nannies heaven', we've talked often this last year, so young and yet so understanding and honest.
If you need to talk, and feel there is no one, always come here, people are always happy to listen to friends

specialK

Sorry to hear of your loss (((hugs)))

Like others have said, what you are feeling is normal. All the confusion, hurt and anger is normal! You need to feel this way in order to grieve.

I have lost quite a few family and friends and I bottled alot of pain inside. It all came bursting out years later, and I am not a better person for it. Just go with it, do what you have to do and feel better for doing so.

Get a bottle of wine (or whatever you drink!), watch a weepie or have a song night, cry......cry......and cry some more, feel sorry for yourself and cry again till your throat hurts........eat chocolate, drink more and then cry...

Seriously, let yourself grive. You can't escape the process nor beat it, just let it take you and feel stronger for it.
x