Custody battle

darrenm

Hello, this is a long story, me and my partner have a little girl of nearly 2, and my partner has a 3 yr old boy from a previous relationship, we went through a 2 year court battle to try and get full custody as his dad is heavily into using cannabis and has been convicted in the past of dealing in drugs, and is a known very violent man.

during the court case we were seriously let down by social services and without proper evidence the judge who stated this, gave joint custody, this was last september, ollie stays with us for a week and a week at his dads.

last week ollie came to us with a big cut next to his eye saying daddy pushed him in his room, we went to social services and tried to complain, and they called the police (CPU) who after seeing ollie decided he was too young to be interviewed and social services (bournemouth) then said they would not be able to take any further action.

ollie was rushed to hospital last night with what turned out to be a severe asthma attack and now has to use a nebulizer, we know that ollie's dad constantly smokes cannabis around ollie, we know he is being subjected to mental and physical abuse but apart from the pictures we took of his eye and of a gash he had last year running down his entire abdomen we have no real proof.

it baffles us that durig the court battle, social services were not the least bit bothered that ollies father is happily using drugs around ollie, one of the CAFCASS officers who was clever enough to make a surprise visit reported to the court that the flat smelled of cannabis.

Its amazing that the health visitor says she has no worries, but it hasnt occured to her that all her visits are announced, neither social services or the police are interested in investigating because Ollie in thier minds is too young to be interviewed?, we really would like to go back to court and try to get him back again but feel it may be too soon after the last case ended?, ollies mother is to put it mildly constantly anxious and distraught at the thought that one day something serious is going to happen, its just waiting to happen.

not to mention that ollie's dad has a partner, who is denied access to her own daughter who i now believe due to the mother's threatening behaviour has been moved to milton keynes due to abuse allegations by the father, please can somebody somewhere care about this innocent 3 year old boy, and give us some good solid advice ???


The biggest question i would like help with is, if a child is not old enough to speak and express themselves why is there not some kind of agency who can help defend the child?

during the handover yesterday, i was assaulted by Ollie's dad, i am disabled with acute sciatica, he was arrested and i will be making a formal complaint, but it is his turn to have Ollie and we are scared for Ollies welfare to the point that we cannot bring ourselves to hand Ollie back, social services are incredibly uninterested? and myself abnd my partner really need some good advice on how to proceed?

shelley_crow

First of all, what an awful thing for ollie and your family to have to go thru. please please please keep a record of everything that has happened/is happening to your poor little boy. Take photos of injuries and take him to hospital so that it is noted on his drs notes.

You need specialised legal advice from a solicitor who deals in family law. If you do withhold contact (which i would too) then it's imperative you have decent and correct legal advice so that it doesn't end up going against you.

Contact social services again about the injuries ollie has sustained while with his father. Surely the fact that ollie can't be interviewed is immaterial? There are child protection cases with younger children who can't communicate their version of events, but this does not stop social services being involved. Ask to speak to a senior social worker, you should get more sense out of them.
The very first provision of the Children Act 1989 is that "The Welfare of the child is paramount".

I really hope you get this sorted out so that Ollie doesn't have to suffer anymore. His dad sounds like one of those people i'd like to feed to a lynch mob.

bank_of_slate

Hi Darren, have you tried contacting the child protection team at the PCT?
I would do as shelley advised above, I would challenge his rights to have ANY unsupervised contact with Ollie.
...Linda xx

lynn44

Hi
Thanks guys for your help, As darren is new to the site I have ticked the thanks button on his behalf

ailuro2

Any way you could get a drugs test done on Ollie's hair? - if he is around it enough it may show up in his hair, and then that would be a good motivator for somebody to take action on your behalf.

darrenm

thank you so nuch for your reply's, what is the PCT?, would you happen to have any contact details Linda?, and we are certain if a test was done on Ollie's hair it would show up positive for cannabis, but the solicitor said they would only do that under extreme circumstances?, we are going to speak to a solicitor on monday and try again with social services.

thanks all x

bank_of_slate

Your local Primary Care Trust will have an appointed child protection team

http://www.bournemouthandpoole-pct.nhs.uk/
...Linda xx

cheepskate_2

Hi

Sorry to hear of your situation, good advice you have been given.

On the handover issue, can you not handover in a supervised place, cant remember what they are called, where there is no threat to yourself or partner from this person.
Hope you get it sorted soon

Loretta

I was a social worker until 1989 and I left the job and that sort of work for good because of this sort of situation. I had to either ignore what was happening, I couldn't do that, or negect my own 3 children and let this take over my life. No one showed any interest in resolving the disaster that was happening, so I left. No commonsense was used and no one wanted to take any responsibility and when I tried I was a troublemaker.

In 1989 there had been many cases like this which ended in tragedy and nothing ever changed and nothing was ever learned. It is incredible that 20 years later the situation is exactly the same and there have mean so many more very high profile tragic cases

Get a solicitor who specialises in Family law, phone the NSPCC, make an appointment with the Director of Social Services, and whoever is in charge, as high up as possible of the health visitor. Contact your MP, they are all a bit keen at the moment with an election soon. Go to your GP, go to the police and keep on and on. You only need one person to get the message and the rest will start happening.

This is a very dangerous situation and needs urgent attention. You know that so don't let anyone make you think you are making a fuss you are not, you are the only sensible one.

Does he go to a nursery or anywhere like that? involve everyone and anyone. Does this father have a neighbour, mother, sister anyone like that who would phone the police or social services with their concerns. The authorities still like to treat things as a 'domestic' get some one else to complain or ,tell of their concerns.

We don't want to be reading about this in the newspapers during the next few weeks

Good luck and keep posting

darrenm

Thanks Loretta, they have all been really great replies all of which we are taking on board, i emailed my first post at the top of this chain to the nspcc last night and this morning the reply was that they want to do a thorough investigation, so i am now in the process of putting together everything we have and i will send it as soon as i can, the police are'nt even interested in him dealing cannabis to all the youth in the area, but i will be contacting our MP as soon as my brain allows time and i am full of coffee, whatever happens things have to change now, we have kept Ollie with us and he hasnt mentioned his dad once, he is happily running around with his little sister, we will NEVER stop trying. thanks all for your help :-)

Paparika

darrenm wrote: »

Thanks Loretta, they have all been really great replies all of which we are taking on board, i emailed my first post at the top of this chain to the nspcc last night and this morning the reply was that they want to do a thorough investigation, so i am now in the process of putting together everything we have and i will send it as soon as i can, the police are'nt even interested in him dealing cannabis to all the youth in the area, but i will be contacting our MP as soon as my brain allows time and i am full of coffee, whatever happens things have to change now, we have kept Ollie with us and he hasnt mentioned his dad once, he is happily running around with his little sister, we will NEVER stop trying. thanks all for your help :-)

Best of luck to you, it's nice to see out of all this one part of his family love him and are worried about his welfare, when the professionals aren't