Bankrouptcy and Work

ukbadger_2

Hi all,

Newbie here needing some advice.

My boyfriend has managed to work up £33k worth of debt and he is finding it impossible to pay - he has a consolidation loan which he pays at £400 a month but basically he spends that much on his credit card each month so he is getting no-where fast. I have the been the one checking out his options because I think I am more concerned about his position than he is - although he has started drinking :eek: more which I think is to escape what must be a very stressful situation. Well we had an almighty row at the weekend as I was sick of seeing him burying his head in the proverbial sand (actually in a vodka bottle) about this and not taking responsibility - sometimes I feel like his mum and not his gf.

He has various fixed outgoings , rent , child maintenance for his 8 year old and on paper he hasn't got enough to pay this debt back - he got a loan of £4.5k a couple of months ago from his dad but it has just been swallowed up but he also needs to pay this back. Yesterday he called the Consumer Credit helpline and he said he spoke to someone who told him his creditors would be unlikely to agree to an IVA as he would have nothing to pay them back after his outgoings - they say Bankruptcy is the best option and to be honest I am thinking the same.

Couple of questions : He works for the Inland Revenue in Ex Pat Taxation and I have heard various views on wether he can keep his job with them as a bankrupt - anyone know the score ??

Second one is that if we decided to live together at some stage (at the moment it doesn;t seem likely as the rows are just getting worse but ....) would it affect me if I shared my home with a bankrupt ?

I am in a good financial position more by luck than planning having bought a small house when I worked in the South East then selling before moving back to Sunderland. I don't have any debt and have a small savings account with some redundancy money in it but I have a mortgage of £110k - I could easily have been in the same situation as him if not for the house sale. It's got the point now when his financial situation is getting me down - I can afford a modest holiday but he can't and I don't want to fall into the trap of paying his way as I had a destructive relationship in the south which cost me a fortune to maintain.

what do you guys think - should he go bankrupt ??


Sorry for wittering on - just got to work and the diet coke hasn't kicked in yet

Hayley

mattp_3

Hi Hayley

Sounds as though Bankruptcy is definitely the best option to be honest.

As he has no "disposable income" he is not going to be able to pay off the debts, he might be able to afford the minimum payments but often this means still using the cards to pay for day-to-day shopping, so the total amount of debt continues to rise and with added interest, the net tightens.

As you mentioned, the potential problem could be his employer the Inland Revenue, I do not know if this is definitely a problem, the only way to be certain is to check his contract carefully or call the personnel department anonymously.

They may conduct a credit check when someone initially applies to work for the IR but it would be rare to conduct it after that. Many companies have understanding Welfare departments or Unions which will help employees/members in these circumstance - it might be worth checking?

If he goes bankrupt, it will cost around £490 - but it should not affect you directly. Changes in the way your credit file works were applied last year to ensure that you cannot be affected by anothers credit rating, even if you live in the same property.

It will affect your ability to get a joint mortgage, but it doesn't sound like this should be a problem for you.

It will give you both the clean break you need - he will be able to focus again and you will not need to worry anymore.

There is another forum which is useful for sharing experiences of bankruptcy https://www.debtquestions.co.uk - might be worth checking there for first-hand stories (its not as scary as you think!)

Good Luck and please stay off the Diet Coke!!!! Its really bad for you!!! (aspartame is a nasty chemical - just type it into Google and you'll see what I mean!!!) Sorry its one of my little life-battles!

wisbech_lad

Ugh. Not about the job/ bankruptcy situation, and I don't know you at all but...

Don't you deserve better than this? He runs away from responsibility in drink, is in debt, looks to have at least one failed relationship.

Stand by your man is all well and good, but my advice would be - you deserve better

mattp_3

thats a bit too judgemental wisbech_lad!

if you've not got anything to say thats gonna help - why bother?????

pug_in_a_bed

It might be a good plan to pop down the CAB for a visit and chat, they're really helpful and it really does make you feel better when you actually start the cogs going to get some info. They can give your bf and yourself some advice and maybe answer some fo your immediate concerns. As a lone bankruptee (?) i'm not too hot on how it will effect you. The job thing is more of a conundrum...

'There are certain jobs you cannot have if you are an undischarged bankrupt: Company Director (or concerned directly or indirectly in the management of a company), MP, Councillor, Magistrate or Estate Agent. A bankrupt usually can't be a school or college governor and there are restrictions under charity law as to the role a bankrupt can serve on management committees.'
(from this site)

Note 'undischarged', bearing in mind that the law has changed now so that the terms are normally one year (possibily less). I would suggest maybe calling another branch in another town and basically asking outright what the inland revenue policy is. I think, that unless there was a clause in his original contract or something, which said he had to disclose something like this, it might be alright. No one has to know at work if this isn't the case.

Hope that is some help, sorry i couldn't be more specific.

Apple_2

ukbadgar

I saw this post this morning and wondered if I should reply. I'm not going to comment on the bankrupcy/job angle - do as much research as you can, trawl through the posts & check out other debt forums before you both make a decision.

My partner is also in debt. Now thankfully he's closer to getting clear of it. It was increadibly difficult for me, seeing letters pile up unopened ( before I knew what prob was ) and all the phone calls on the answer machine. The feeling of 'will we ever be able to make a life together ? or will this debt always be a millstone around our neck ?'. I knew his debts didn't affect me directly, but I worried about the possibility of my property/assets being dragged in / worried whether bailiffs would take my possessions etc. So it affected me a lot.

The alarm bells rang for me in your post when you talked about your boyfriend's behaviour. The drinking & the depression. To be honest it sounds like he's not dealing with it, and HE HAS to acknowledge it & be involved in the sorting out process, taking nasty phone calls etc. I do the paperwork/research for my partner, because I'm better at that kind of thing, but I've got irritated when I think he's not being involved enough. It's all about taking responsibility ( whichever route he goes ). It's great to help a loved one - we all have different talents, but it's wrong to try to 'fix' someone else's problem - they have to do it themselves, or at least be more involved in the 'fixing' process. Until your partner takes HIS head out of the sand, this isn't going to work.

Don't mean to be negative. I sincerely hope everything works out for you both.

pug_in_a_bed

Apple, that was a really good post - ukbadgar, do you think you could get your bf interested in mse? it might help him face up to what he's experiencing if he had a look.

wylie_2

Hi ukbadger,
I know you said he phoned the Consumer Credit helpline and got some basic advice but I feel he should take full and proper advice from a reputable Insolvancy Practitioner (IP). His affairs would be looked at in detail and all options considered and presented to him for his decision. It may be that Bankruptcy is the only option in the end ... but if that can be avoided it should be. IVA's have many advantages but in any case without a full and proper assessment of all the options you could end up making the wrong move!

If you wish you can send me a private message an I will put you in touch with a major IP firm who will give full and proper advice. (I believe there is no charge for the service but will check for you if he's interested).

He has to take the whole thing seriously, act now,and be prepared to change his spending patterns. Peace of mind will come quicker than you think!
Good luck

wylie

ukbadger_2

Hi guys - thanks for your replies (practical and emotional !)

He is going to check his contract today and his employee debt advisor is going to call him tonight to run through things. I've also given him the site address - if he reads my posts it will come as no surprise as he knows exactly what my opinion is...

I know the relationship is probably doomed - but I would love him to get this problem fixed so he can have a better future - maybe it wouldn't feel like such a waste of two years. I know it's his problem and I had enough counselling after previous relationship failures to know that I can't change anyone and believe me I don't want the responsibility one little bit. I just don't respect him anymore and I can;t love without respect.

Him not taking responsibilty is a recurring theme in his life and I've always taken more than my fair share in my dealings. He has all the hallmarks of denial - reflection of blame for this drinking to me , for his debts to his ex , etc etc but it just doesn't wash with me. I've been in a relationship with an alcoholic and nearly didn't get out alive - he'll use this against me and say that he is being punished for my past and that I overreact about his drinking and provoke him into rows. The fact is I will never accept his drinking - why should I ??

I have told him I don't want to see him for a week so I can get my head clear - I don't want to be with him anymore if I'm honest with myself.

I didn't really expect this to become a discussion about emotions but I'm glad you are there to help me see the light.

I've been lurking obsessively for a while and I respect you all so much for you facing your individual situations and making such a positive change x You all deserve a big :T :T :T :T :T :T :T

Hx

wylie_2

Hi,
Well done! I think you are both taking positive steps. Good luck!


wylie

cattie

What a very brave & honest post ukbadger, it brought tears to my eyes reading it. You deserve a bright & happy future & I hope one way or another it is there just around the corner.